Thursday, October 03, 2013

It Was the Oddest Feeling...

Last night, I took a yoga class. That's not the odd thing.

The odd thing was that last week, I was teaching that class. Let me explain.

My teacher took a sabbatical. She asked me to take over teaching the class for an unspecified time. I agreed; (a) because I love the class, and (b) because I've done that particular type of yoga for about 7 years, and was very familiar with it. 

So I went happily along, teaching the class since about June. She e-mailed me and said she was ready to come back, and was gracious enough to ask if I was ok with her taking the class back. Of course, I agreed... It's her class; I'm just filling in.

I didn't realize how weird it was to be on the other side of the studio. I've been teaching there since this summer, and even before as a sub for various instructors, and unfortunately, my practice time at that studio was confined to workshops (at which I did the administrative stuff anyway). 

I was happy to see my teacher back, but there was something "weird" about it - like it was a different relationship than we had when we were meeting more face-to-face. All summer, we'd been chatting over e-mail, but it's vastly different when you actually come back into that person's physical orbit. 

I confess, I made a faux pas.... I spoke up during class to clarify something for another student. And I shouldn't have done that. I'm not the teacher. Habits hard to break, I suppose. 

Red cotton blend
Anyway, we spoke a bit after class, but it was - again - not the same. I'm hoping that we get over this bumpy re-start and get back to our familiar relationship. Maybe it's just the re-entry. I know that can be hard. But it does pass.


I have a crapload of this red yarn from my friend D. Not sure what to do with it. It's a lovely crisp red. Would make a nice t-shirt, so perhaps that's its ultimate destiny. It's a little light for a sweater and I have too much for a shawl. I can't remember the exact blend, but I know D is fond of the sport-weight for her sweaters. That would make it perfect for maybe even a Sally Melville tunic. I have to check yardage.

Ravelry, here we come.

I'm determined to finish a Fluffy Scarf today. I've probably got less than 2 yards of the yarn left in this current ball, so I want to get that one done and maybe start another one. If I can do one a week or so, that would be good.

The Charity Afghan -- I sent out a picture to our group and they like my layout, so as soon as I finish the last 2 squares (and the first of them is within 2 or 3 rows of being done), I can start assembling. 

Memorial Garden

St. Francis and Memorial
Here's a shot of our memorial garden with our cheap-o Menard's solar lights. Hey, four bucks a light, they're LED changing colors and crackle glass. If they last the year, no biggie. If they last longer, yippee!!

We've done this for a couple of years now, and I keep rearranging things. I like it. We don't keep the dogs' ashes, but we have memorial stones made for them. 

It might be silly. But our dogs are integral members of our family. If you're a dog person, you know what I mean. Even cat people get that...

On the other side of St. Francis (as you face this, it's on the right), there is a round stone with a saying about meeting in Heaven. That's also surrounded by solar lights, and I have a stainless steel rose that Kid #1 crafted for me. It's beautiful and I get a lot of comments about his talent with the flower. 

On the left, basically, is our A/C unit, and alongside that is the kennel. We made this area into a rock garden because it's an east exposure, and it got so hot at one point that nothing would grow.

Now, of course, the maple tree has taken over and 90% of the time it's in the shade...and only begonias will grow on my patio! The patio is a simple one; just 12x12 paver stones, and we actually don't even sit outside much. 

In this lifetime, I'd like to fence the yard, so that we can sit out there, and have the dogs in the yard with us. They do use the kennel, but we'd like to have some more interaction with them while we perhaps sit and spend time together. 


Paint splatter Danskos
I think my Dansko clogs may actually be hurting my feet. Dang. They're very comfortable, but my arches are killing me. Yeah, I sound like I'm 100 years old. I have very high arches, which isn't a good thing; also arthritis in the feet. Also not a good thing. And I love to go barefoot at home. Another not-good-thing... Anyway, today I have the paint-splatter ones on, and I had to use some arch supports. They feel ok, but I wonder about it.

They're not cheap shoes; and they are worth every dime, but not if they're painful. I am fussy about my shoes. It's not worth it to me to spend money on shoes if I can't wear them. 

This is a very odd angle, since it seems like I don't have any ankles. Actually, I have decent ankles; it's just hard to take a "selfie" of your feet... 

I wore these when I was with my brother running around doing Estate stuff, and he finally noticed them. He said, "You mean you PAID for shoes to look like this??" 

Hey, you have to make a statement somehow, and I've gone past the "cute socks" phase. I now wear hand-knitted socks, thank you very much... 


Just in case you're wondering, Tazo's Chocolate Chai is the Devil's work... It's not quite tea. More of a spicy hot chocolate with the caffeine from the tea. I'm giving it up for Lent, starting now. 

I wish Tazo would make a low-sugar variety like Oregon does - I mean low-sugar in the sense of not using the fake crap, but just less sugar.

I need to start making my own again. It's easier and I can control the sugar myself. Maybe on The Google, I can find a chocolate chai recipe?? That would be nice!

Cute dog pic

Waiting for visitors
Because everyone needs a cute dog pic... This is Tippi in her most recent therapy visit, waiting for students to come visit her. 

Yes, she tolerates the headgear. For a moment. Luckily, she was distracted by the groundskeeper running a lawnmower. 

For Halloween, I have a purple witch hat for her. Yes, you can just imagine her enthusiasm...


Have to decide about Christmas baking. Yeah, this early. I think we might be able to do potica again this year; it's been a couple of years since we've done that. I have vacation time AND comp time to use, so I can take time off actually in the middle of December. One of the nice things about working in an academic setting is that things calm wayyyyyyyy down after Final Exams in December. It's a good time to take off, recharge and then get back to the swing of things after 2014 dawns.

Anyway, thinking about the baking now helps; I make a list and we stick to about a dozen kinds of baked goods, usually. It helps to (a) keep us from eating so much of it; and (b) keep in mind that while we give it for gifts, we don't have to go nuts heaping plates to the sky since so many folks we know are watching weight, cholesterol, etc. 

We usually do the "old favorites" and my guitar teacher has already put his bid in - I told him I had a new recipe for sugar cookies, and he said, "Well, include those with the old ones!" I love it when people appreciate the work. 

Hubby is going home for Christmas; I think that's a good idea, because my MIL needs to see him. He's been gone from home many years, and hasn't spent a Christmas at home in a long time. It'll work out perfectly because I can be home with the dogs. And the kids aren't kids anymore: we can have a Christmas brunch. 

Old Friends

So, I had to make a hard decision to basically let go of a friendship. I've known this person since second grade...most of my life. And while we'd drifted at one point, we reconnected when I came back to live in IL. 

What happened is complex. First off, I'd noticed in recent years (yeah, it's taking me a long time to come to this point) that she was more of a "taker." I was the one actually putting more energy into the friendship as time went on. At first, we were happy to be friends again. We did a lot of things together. We went on "girls' weekends" and we shopped. We called each other just to talk. We had common interests.

But then things changed. She started being more "it's all me" and would call only to ask me for advice (which she rarely took), or help with a problem or just to vent. Those are all fine things, but when I couldn't get a word in edgewise about MY life, it started to bug me.

Then, visits dwindled; at first it was still at least lunch on our respective birthdays. But then it got to be ONE lunch per year, if we were lucky. Calls did, too. Her daughter had a baby, and she is basically raising the child. Not because the mother is incompetent, and I don't know what I would do in that situation.

Hang on... I do know what I'd do. The parent has to raise the child. You had it, you raise it, barring ailment or very bad economic conditions... Anyway.

She stopped calling unless she needed Hubby to fix her computer, or me to untangle some legal thing - translate something for her, as it were, if she didn't understand it. Or to tell me how she hated her job. 

Then, we only saw each other at Christmas when she has an open house. Or at the grandkid's birthday. 

Then, my brother died. He died on the kid's birthday, so obviously, I wasn't going to the party; but I had hubby deliver the present anyway. I texted her the details of my brother's arrangements.

The day of the wake, she didn't show up. At all. Time went by. No phone call. No "How are you doing, how's your mom?" call or e-mail or text. 

I saw her at the doc's office when I brought Kid #2 in... she says, "So what's up with your brother?" THREE WEEKS AFTER THE WAKE/FUNERAL. Sorry, but what did you THINK was up??? I told her we'd buried him and she said, "Oh, I didn't know when the services were." 

"I texted you."

"I have a new phone. I don't know how to operate it yet."

Kid #2 just sat there waiting for me to blow... I just said, "Oh, well, you could've called me." She changed the subject.

I'm done. I'm not even going to go to her Christmas party. It's just energy wasted. 

I hate this... It'll be spun so as to be all my fault, but what do you suggest? Keeping a one-sided relationship up so that SHE gets to use ME? Or a discussion (which we've had a couple of times --- or at least *I* have tried to have) about how this should be a little more 50/50... 

I'm not asking to be "besties" where we know EVERYTHING about our lives. Or maybe I am, on some different terms. Not like teens, who're constantly in touch. But maybe once a week or two?? For a TWO-WAY chat? Where she asks me how things are going and actually LISTENS to what I have to say? And then I ask her how things are going - a whole two-way thing called a real conversation. 

I'd been trying, but maybe it's just run its course. I asked another friend of mine (and I do see this gal only about 4x/year, and we're good with that). She had this same thing happen to her with a long-term friend, and she told me, "You know what has to happen and no matter how you slice it, it's going to stink." 

She's right. 

On the bright side, it looks as if my 2 friends from Grad School will reconnect and we'll be a threesome again. It's time. 

Maybe this is a case of "lose one, gain two." I don't know. I've never had this happen before, at least with a friend of this duration. 

What would you do? 

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