Monday, September 08, 2008

Don't Breathe???

So. Today was THE day. The Annual Squish. And of course, last week, my cycle shifted just so that, 3 days ago, I was in full "Dolly Parton" mode. It was unpleasant, unplanned and painful! I got to the imaging facility and was able to go right in. I had a lovely technician, by the name of Janet, who "felt my pain." You see, the mammograms are digital and I have dense tissue (those of you who know me? Spare me the "dense" jokes!!). So, Janet says, the equipment has to "press down harder" to be able to get a good view. "Stand with your hips and feet facing the machine. Place your left arm and shoulder above the plate; don't GRIP the bar, just hold it. Scoot your butt out a bit. Now, hold still." Whirrrrrrrr; down comes the Plate of Pain. Janet goes behind her magic screen and says, "Now, hold your breath." Please. Like I could even THINK about breathing?? She apologizes as the Plate of Pain lifts, then we get to do it over on the other side. Then, the fun begins. We get to do the "sideways images." Stand with your toes and hips at a slight angle; tip your chin up so the plate doesn't whack you in the face. Bend slightly forward "so the tissue moves forward." Janet says, "Well, I know this is uncomfortable, but look at me" (which I can't because I'm squeezed in place) - "I'm all scrunched under here with my head under this part." Yes, dear, but I'm squeezed IN that part! I feel for my "less gifted" sisters - this is one test where more really IS better. I have a friend who's on the "boyish" side and she says that every year, she comes away bruised and feeling "scraped" by the Plate of Pain. So I guess it's good that I got the "family allotment of bosom" as my sister says. I give mammography technicians credit. They're handling a very aggravating test day in and day out. They are so professional (at least the ones I've run into) and matter-of-fact that they make you feel good about taking care of yourself. But even the pre-procedure aspirins did nothing today when "Dolly Parton" met The Squisher. That's ok, though. I came through this one without having to do any of the images over, and I'm done for a year.

Friday, September 05, 2008

This is "change"???

The sad part is, we could have predicted exactly how the RNC was going to go down. Mean. Rotten. Nasty. Much Hot Air - No Substance. They don't feel they HAVE to tell us what they'll do. It's enough that they're (R) - can't you people tell that they've only got our well-being in their hearts? Where have you been in the last eight years? The surge is working. Maverick. The economy is booming. Maverick. I don't know how many houses I have. Maverick. My kid's pregnant and I'm forcing her into the middle of a political inferno. Maverick. I've intimidated people and tried to fire a librarian because she wouldn't ban a book I didn't like. Maverick. I am willing to shill myself and my family for my own ambition. Maverick. Global warming is a myth - ignore that recent MSN story about two large ice sheets in Canada breaking off. Maverick. That has nothing to do with anything. Maverick. Drill in ANWR. Maverick. Alternate sources of energy don't work. Maverick. Endangered polar bears? What are you talking about? POW. Victory. Surge. POW. Victory. Surge. They should have paid me to summarize the entire convention; it wouldn't have taken 4 days. At this point, McCain says "Change is coming." It is. And it's Democratic. Finally.