It's a Beautiful Day...

 ...for morning yoga. The temperature was in the mid 70s, the breeze was blowing and we had the sunlight filtering through the trees. I also had a few more students! The class has been around for a couple of years, and enrollment has been slow. Because we're dependent on the weather, it's hard to be consistent. But we're getting the word out there, and we're getting to a point where I think we're going to start seeing more people. 

We've been very fortunate to have this garden, about 2 blocks west of the studio - to practice in from about May - September-ish. Not sure how long the season will be; last year we went through the end of September, so we have to play it by ear. 

This year, we tried to start on Earth Day, April 22 - and promptly got clobbered for two months by Mother Nature. We only really started the classes this month, and even then, one was cancelled due to rain. 

Monsoons! The garden is in a lower-lying area, so we have to be careful of the weather and the 'swampiness' of the grass when we're planning to practice out there. 

The Clog-Killer...

Well. They were lovely. They were a present from my friend W who brought them from Amsterdam. I've been wearing them to yoga, and I love to be able to just slip them on and go do whatever I have to do. 

I went into the bedroom to change for my Thursday "Flow Motion" class, and found Quinn, looking guilty. And then I saw my clog... She'd decided that it was a chew toy. Or she smelled the cats that my friend has. But I've had the clogs for a few weeks, so I'm not sure what that was about. Maybe she was peeved at me for some reason - her rope chew was right there. She's 6 years old, so she's not teething. She did have dental work done, but that was about 3 weeks ago. 

I'm not happy. Hubby says he can use some wood filler and make them "good as new" - which I hope he can. He's got some things he can do. Either using the wood filler or sanding and smoothing it down. 

That being said, yeah - such a "first world" problem... It's just a pair of clogs. Not like I'm out anything. They were a gift, which is nice, but it's not like they're my only pair. I'll certainly survive. 

It was just surprising because Quinn's past the "chew things up" stage. Or so I thought. 

Breakfast After Yoga...

So I usually don't eat before I teach. It's easier to teach on an empty stomach. Today, though, we were planning to go on a bike ride, so I figured I'd better eat something. Organic banana and raw cashew butter... Yummy! 

It ended up though that we didn't go for a bike ride. The breeze was pretty stiff today. Even out in the garden, the balance poses were ... interesting! Mostly because just about the time we got settled into the pose, the breeze kicked up and we got pushed over!

We decided to go out to Midewin National Tallgrass Prairie. It's out by the Joliet Arsenal, which they're gradually turning back to its natural state. Heaven knows what's buried in the grounds of the arsenal, but that's ok. It's being turned back to prairie, with hundreds of acres being replanted with native plants. 

And the bison... It's been my dream, and now it's come true. 

Bison...

A herd was brought in, and wonder of wonders - several of the cows were already pregnant. These are bison, not a hybrid of cow/buffalo. They're as pure as you're going to get. 

And they're amazing. And they're settling in wonderfully. In 2017, we have five new calves! The volunteers pointed us in the direction of where the herd was last seen, nobody made any promises, and we walked. And walked. And walked. 

And we found them! 

Illinois is a flat state, but there are parts where there are rolling hills and these beauties were in a little gully where it was almost a surprise to see them. I mean, it would've been a total surprise except there was a knot of people standing there ooohhhh-ing and ahhhhhh-ing. So we figured we found them. 

I took about 70 or 80 pictures, and eventually, tick threat be hanged, waded through the underbrush to get up close to the fence so that I could get better shots. There are a few observation posts, but they weren't close to where the bison actually were. 

And as I told someone standing there, the bison's usually attitude toward people is "pfffffffffffffffffffthhhhhhhhh." The one bull did get a little twitchy when Hubby and I were at the fence. He raised his head and sniffed, not quite deciding whether he was going to let everyone stick around. 

But we were ok. And they finally settled down, deciding that after their brunch, they could lay down and nap. 

Knitting...

You can see the lace pattern coming along. So far, everything's behaving. I have no idea how I'm going to do the sleeves. I think they'll still be the 3/4 length the pattern calls for, but I'm not sure how to smoothly attach them. 


Like Sonda used to say, though, "one stitch at a time, one row at a time."

That's kind of a nice metaphor for a lot of life. 

I'm really enjoying the yarn and the stitch definition is superb. It's really heavy, though. It'll be interesting to see exactly how much this thing 'grows' (as the pattern states it will). 

So the trouble is this: hot flashes. I was knitting along last night, and BAM! Had a couple of doozies one right after the other. Got so hot that I started sweating, all the way to the palms, so I thought I'd better set this aside. 

Now that we're back from our adventure, it's time to pick it up again. I want to press on, and if the flashes get really annoying, I have socks to fall back on. They need completing anyway.

Random Picture...

"If I hold verrrrrrrrrrry still, nobody will notice that I'm here..."

That's the big bull buffalo who wasn't happy with us, settling in for his post-lunch nap. 

Shoo-bootie & Politics

Sorry - couldn't resist. I have a new pair of shoes, and the receipt says "shootie" but I think in the current climate, I want to stay away from "shoot" in any form.

So I'm calling them "Shoobooties." Kind of a play on the song from The Music Man entitled "Shapoopie." Just go with me here...

They're ABEO shoes; so far, so comfy. I was hesitant at first because they're enclosed. I have arthritis in the feet and high insteps. Wasn't sure how that was going to work, but lookee...Even with wool socks, they've been comfortable so far. I got them from The Walking Company, which is my favorite shoe store. I will tell you that you need to go there. Especially if you're ordering shoes that come in European sizes. 

Did you know that your feet continue to grow? Or I should say, expand... I used to wear a size 8 shoe. Now, 2 kids, constantly barefoot, overweight then losing weight... I'm about a size 9 for the most part. These Shoobooties are 8.5, but most of my Dansko shoes are size 9. 

I have to go on a "shoe purge" and clear out the last of the pumps. I'm not able to wear them because (a) I don't wear high heels anymore; and (b) most of them are size 8 and don't fit anymore. I can deliver them to the local women's shelter and they'll have a use for them. I need to add that to The Big To-Do List, I guess. 

Today, it's rainy and the campus is a bit cool. We have the HVAC people coming out tomorrow, so hopefully, that'll get resolved. Also, the electricians are coming out to (finally) fix the lights.

I have a candle burning to "home-y" up the place. Our cleaners use non-toxic cleaners, but they're vinegar-based. It gets a little much sometimes! The candle is "Red McIntosh Orchard" or some such name. A mild apple-scent, not too overwhelming. 

I have to figure out whether I want to change the water bottle (it's a big one) or see if I can snag a male student to do it. I probably should do it myself. I just get a little wimpy thinking about losing my grip. 

I guess the best way to NOT lose your grip is to just strengthen your grip, right? 

The To-Do List...

I've made a honkin' big "Things I Have to Do" list - kind of all-encompassing because I keep thinking about stuff, and it rarely makes it to my day-to-day list. It runs the gamut from "take the suit to Golden Needle to get hemmed" to "clear out the corner of your bedroom." Plus Christmas cards, learning music, wiring the guitar for Christmas Eve... It just makes me feel better about seeing it all in one place. 

Will be working on the "learning music" thing shortly - I'm at work for the night shift, and before students get here, I can sing without anyone wanting to cart me away!

Politics...

It's about time, Harry!! Finally. Filibuster reform. Click here to read the full story. There is no logical reason why a MINORITY should hold up nominations. Look at what we have here, aside from the aptly-named "Obama Derangement Syndrome." There have been 82 nominees blocked during this man's tenure. There have only been slightly over 85 nominees blocked for ANY OTHER PRESIDENT - all of them included in that math. So for every OTHER president, nobody's blocked what they wanted to do. But not so for the black guy. 

But we're "post-racial" right? I don't think so.

And in other news, CONGRATULATIONS, Illinois! Last night, Governor Quinn signed into law the gay marriage bill. Click here to read about it. Catholic Bishop Thomas Paprocki held an "exorcism" at the local church. I am dead serious. It's in the article. 

This is, obviously, the only thing the Catholic Church has to worry about, right? I hate to tell them, but my straight marriage is in no way threatened by anyone else's marriage, straight or gay. If you feel that your marriage is threatened by ANY other marriage, then you probably have more problems that go deeper. You'd need counseling at least. Pronto.

Knitting...

The afghan. Almost done. Well, almost assembled. I worked on it today and I just have one more square to attach. Then I weave in about 6 million ends, and then I can do the border of the silvery-grey. I'll probably start on that border on Friday night. 

Thanksgiving...

So I messaged the kids with Lola's picture. BOTH of them said, "So when is she going to be in OUR freezer?" Ha. Poor Lola. 

The turkey is still hard as a rock. It's been in the fridge since Tuesday. I'm thinking that the cold water bath will be the way to go...

I don't think we'll need the ham. The kids will make the spuds on Friday. I wish they'd wait till Saturday, but I have to work with their schedules, too. My mom is - thankfully - making the lighter version of stuffing. 

We do have a family recipe of giblet stuffing that's phenomenal. For grout. I mean, it's tasty. But nobody eats like that anymore. You can eat that stuffing and not feel hungry for a day. To say it's "heavy" is putting it mildly. 

Personally, I'd try a wild rice stuffing. But I'm getting there. We just gradually introduce new stuff, and nobody really gripes too much. They get volunteered to cook if they kick up a fuss. 

Random Picture...

River

The random picture today is an old one. It's of my lovely River, who went over the Bridge a couple of years ago. She was a sweetheart, and I still miss her every day. Yes, I love my elkhounds, but I'm a "Husky girl" for the most part. I love their independence, their tails, their blue eyes, their big fuzzy heads and the way that no matter what, they're the fastest kissers in the land! 

Beware of the Husky kiss. It's slobbery, quick and all over your face before you can duck. Sneaky little buggers, they are. 


I belong to the "Husky Tales" Facebook group, and it's feeding my addiction... I know that at some point, we'll have another dog and it'll be a Husky. I want to be able to have this one be a therapy dog, too. It gives them something to do, and I enjoy working with Tippi like that, so it's a good thing all the way around. 

Off I go - gotta sing before we have company!

Yes, I Ironed It...

Ironing yarn...

I don't iron as a matter of course. I just use the ironing board as a place to pile stuff. 

Doesn't everyone??  Ahem...

Knitting

ANYWAY, my friend M, the president of our women's group, sent out a call to all knitters in the group asking if we were interested in knitting up one (or more) of those fluffy scarves so that we could use them as door prizes. She'd provide the fluffy yarn. 

I said yes. I know. Don't tell me. 

Beginning of fluffy scarf

I've already got The Fluffy Scarf Project for our choir. I made my mom one. And now this. 

So this project used Sashay instead of Starbella. Sashay is a pain in the keister... I had to iron it. Yep. Spent 1.5 hours of my knitting life IRONING this ribbon so that I could knit with it. 

But in the end, it was worth it. The project was actually done in 3 days - a total of maybe 8 hours of knitting time, but I do work. 

I have 1.5 of the Fluffy Scarf Project scarves done. I also have one more ball of the Sashay...so maybe I can iron that, too, and get rid of it. I was tempted on this one to wrap Tippi in it for a future Howl-O-Ween project, and I might yet. It would be cute. With her purple witch hat or her pumpkin hat. 

She's the world's most tolerant dog. 

So this was worked up on size 7 needles, used circulars because it's a stinker when the stitches all slip off your needles. I saw the YouTube in which they say "weave the ends in" or sometimes, most optimistically, "the ends will magically disappear."

Not so much. I pulled up the ends with a crochet hook and anchored them with needle and thread. Shook it out, took a picture and voila! I'm done. 

Charity Afghan

I'm planning to Stash Bust this weekend, most of which entails going through the totes in the basement and gathering up all the acrylic which I know I will not knit again. Our church has a Prayer Shawl Ministry, and they will use it more quickly than I will. It'll go to a good cause. 

I also have to start assembling the charity afghan. This is it in the unassembled state. There are quite a few Tunisian squares, and those are mainly in the center. Those will be sewn together and the rest crocheted. 


The Weekend

This is one of my rare weekends off. So of course, Hubby has his eyes dilated - messes with the bike ride we contemplated, BUT... I have a to-do list and I've already got a few things crossed off. Not exactly what I wanted to do, but you know you have to grab this stuff when you can. 

I shredded a bunch of miscellaneous stuff from my brother's estate. I finished the scarf (as you can see from the pics). I dusted my scale (I figure that's why it shows that I'm not losing weight...the dust is adding to my total. It works for me.). 

Fluffy scarf completed

I'm in the midst of "organizing the yarn corner" and "matching yarn to patterns." Hubby is building a box for me so that I can put all of my brother's uniforms and equipment in there and deliver it to his former employer. Right now, it's in a laundry basket, so I do need to box it up properly and drive it over there. It'll be cheaper to drive it than to mail it. 

I also have delusions about cleaning off said ironing board and perhaps the hope chest on the end of the bed...

Oh, and we want to finish up the Halloween decorations outside. Mostly putting The Great Pumpkin out on the porch and perhaps some ghosts in the yard. 

The Estate

I have to find the car title. We're transferring it (thank you God) and getting rid of it this week. The house is somewhat in limbo because there's a situation with the roof. The buyers' Realtor screwed up and caused a technical "default" in the contract. We're renegotiating it, which would normally annoy me, but since my brother's got a lot of bills owed, the money's going there. Technically, it's not even "real money" since the heirs won't see any of it. I just get annoyed at the principle of the thing. The buyers knew the state of the house (which, by the way, wasn't horrid. It's just an old house.), and they're getting one-year-old appliances thrown in. Deal with it... But the house does need a new roof. But, we also specified that the house is "as is." I'm confident we'll do ok. Our Realtor is a gem and she's also aware of the fact that we don't want the house to sit over the winter. Candles are lit, fingers and toes are crossed. 

I also have to pay his water bill. I will be very glad to get the house and car settled. Because then, all that remains is to wait till it's time for the attorney to file the final tax returns and we're done. We can close it out. 

I found a flash drive in the stuff for the estate, and I just checked it. It's all personal pics with him and his kids. I'll bring it to Thanksgiving and let them sort it out. That way, they're both there and they won't have any drama (ha) about who's gotten what.  

Food

Chocolate drop cookies

Check out the cookies! We had our final yoga training session recently, and it usually involves food and wine. The Chocolate Drops were my contribution. The Yogi cookies were delicious gingerbread. I'm going to get some of those cutters - they're adorable! 

We drafted our "Proposed 2013 Christmas Baking" list today. Kid #2 will "take a poll" and ask if there are preferences. Since Hubby may be going home for the holidays to visit his mom, we didn't put any of his family cookies on there, though I might try his mom's toffee, which is AMAZING. 

Made spaghetti squash last night with sauteed portabella slices and chopped leeks. That will most likely be lunch. 

We went to the grocery store and spent a boat-load of money. But we needed a lot; we'd been going "piece-meal" and you know that's just not efficient. 

Yogi Cookies

I'm trying some "organic" herb blend salad; baby greens with some dill fronds in there. Also have some kale; it's the big stuff, so it'll get chopped up and wilted with some garlic. It's almost "soup weather" but not quite. An interesting October so far, because aside from the cloudy day today - it's gorgeous outside. 

At some point, we realized that our fridge has attained its maximum capacity. I do have to boil some eggs, but I can put those back in the original carton, making sure to mark which are which, of course! 

It would help immensely if Kid #2 would finish off the juice that's about done...then I'd have room to work with. Right now, this big clunky juice bottle is taking up wayyyyy too much room!! 

Hubby wants to bake some bread. Today would be a good day, because the humidity will help it rise. But I adore - I mean ADORE - the smell of baking bread; that's going to be incredible temptation. 

Might be time to really concentrate on a knitting project if he does that! 

 Shoes


Yeah, I know. I have a Dansko fixation. I got a few more pair and this is the "Blue Marble" which, thank you very much, were on clearance. Great with denim. I also bought a pair of heels - ABEO with a nice arch support. As soon as I actually wear those, I'll show you. They're quite comfy and have kind of a "1940s tap shoe" vibe which is cute. 

I also have to go through some shoes. I gave a big bag of pumps to the folks at the local women's shelter; the gals there can use them as "interview shoes" and I'm glad they're being used by someone who'll wear them. I don't wear heels to speak of - at least not the ones I gave away. But I also have some worn out athletic boots and at least one pair of hiking boots that need to go. No sense hanging on to them if I'm not wearing them. 

What do you know? I've gotten a bunch of stuff crossed off the list and it's not even noon!! I can go fix my lunch and happily watch the Christopher Lee version of "Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde." 

It Was the Oddest Feeling...

Last night, I took a yoga class. That's not the odd thing.

The odd thing was that last week, I was teaching that class. Let me explain.

My teacher took a sabbatical. She asked me to take over teaching the class for an unspecified time. I agreed; (a) because I love the class, and (b) because I've done that particular type of yoga for about 7 years, and was very familiar with it. 

So I went happily along, teaching the class since about June. She e-mailed me and said she was ready to come back, and was gracious enough to ask if I was ok with her taking the class back. Of course, I agreed... It's her class; I'm just filling in.

I didn't realize how weird it was to be on the other side of the studio. I've been teaching there since this summer, and even before as a sub for various instructors, and unfortunately, my practice time at that studio was confined to workshops (at which I did the administrative stuff anyway). 

I was happy to see my teacher back, but there was something "weird" about it - like it was a different relationship than we had when we were meeting more face-to-face. All summer, we'd been chatting over e-mail, but it's vastly different when you actually come back into that person's physical orbit. 

I confess, I made a faux pas.... I spoke up during class to clarify something for another student. And I shouldn't have done that. I'm not the teacher. Habits hard to break, I suppose. 

Red cotton blend

Anyway, we spoke a bit after class, but it was - again - not the same. I'm hoping that we get over this bumpy re-start and get back to our familiar relationship. Maybe it's just the re-entry. I know that can be hard. But it does pass.

Knitting

I have a crapload of this red yarn from my friend D. Not sure what to do with it. It's a lovely crisp red. Would make a nice t-shirt, so perhaps that's its ultimate destiny. It's a little light for a sweater and I have too much for a shawl. I can't remember the exact blend, but I know D is fond of the sport-weight for her sweaters. That would make it perfect for maybe even a Sally Melville tunic. I have to check yardage.

Ravelry, here we come.

I'm determined to finish a Fluffy Scarf today. I've probably got less than 2 yards of the yarn left in this current ball, so I want to get that one done and maybe start another one. If I can do one a week or so, that would be good.

The Charity Afghan -- I sent out a picture to our group and they like my layout, so as soon as I finish the last 2 squares (and the first of them is within 2 or 3 rows of being done), I can start assembling. 

Memorial Garden

St. Francis and Memorial

Here's a shot of our memorial garden with our cheap-o Menard's solar lights. Hey, four bucks a light, they're LED changing colors and crackle glass. If they last the year, no biggie. If they last longer, yippee!!

We've done this for a couple of years now, and I keep rearranging things. I like it. We don't keep the dogs' ashes, but we have memorial stones made for them. 

It might be silly. But our dogs are integral members of our family. If you're a dog person, you know what I mean. Even cat people get that...

On the other side of St. Francis (as you face this, it's on the right), there is a round stone with a saying about meeting in Heaven. That's also surrounded by solar lights, and I have a stainless steel rose that Kid #1 crafted for me. It's beautiful and I get a lot of comments about his talent with the flower. 

On the left, basically, is our A/C unit, and alongside that is the kennel. We made this area into a rock garden because it's an east exposure, and it got so hot at one point that nothing would grow.

Now, of course, the maple tree has taken over and 90% of the time it's in the shade...and only begonias will grow on my patio! The patio is a simple one; just 12x12 paver stones, and we actually don't even sit outside much. 

In this lifetime, I'd like to fence the yard, so that we can sit out there, and have the dogs in the yard with us. They do use the kennel, but we'd like to have some more interaction with them while we perhaps sit and spend time together. 

Shoes

Paint splatter Danskos

I think my Dansko clogs may actually be hurting my feet. Dang. They're very comfortable, but my arches are killing me. Yeah, I sound like I'm 100 years old. I have very high arches, which isn't a good thing; also arthritis in the feet. Also not a good thing. And I love to go barefoot at home. Another not-good-thing... Anyway, today I have the paint-splatter ones on, and I had to use some arch supports. They feel ok, but I wonder about it.

They're not cheap shoes; and they are worth every dime, but not if they're painful. I am fussy about my shoes. It's not worth it to me to spend money on shoes if I can't wear them. 

This is a very odd angle, since it seems like I don't have any ankles. Actually, I have decent ankles; it's just hard to take a "selfie" of your feet... 

I wore these when I was with my brother running around doing Estate stuff, and he finally noticed them. He said, "You mean you PAID for shoes to look like this??" 

Hey, you have to make a statement somehow, and I've gone past the "cute socks" phase. I now wear hand-knitted socks, thank you very much... 

Chai

Just in case you're wondering, Tazo's Chocolate Chai is the Devil's work... It's not quite tea. More of a spicy hot chocolate with the caffeine from the tea. I'm giving it up for Lent, starting now. 

I wish Tazo would make a low-sugar variety like Oregon does - I mean low-sugar in the sense of not using the fake crap, but just less sugar.

I need to start making my own again. It's easier and I can control the sugar myself. Maybe on The Google, I can find a chocolate chai recipe?? That would be nice!


Cute dog pic

Waiting for visitors

Because everyone needs a cute dog pic... This is Tippi in her most recent therapy visit, waiting for students to come visit her. 

Yes, she tolerates the headgear. For a moment. Luckily, she was distracted by the groundskeeper running a lawnmower. 

For Halloween, I have a purple witch hat for her. Yes, you can just imagine her enthusiasm...

Baking

Have to decide about Christmas baking. Yeah, this early. I think we might be able to do potica again this year; it's been a couple of years since we've done that. I have vacation time AND comp time to use, so I can take time off actually in the middle of December. One of the nice things about working in an academic setting is that things calm wayyyyyyyy down after Final Exams in December. It's a good time to take off, recharge and then get back to the swing of things after 2014 dawns.

Anyway, thinking about the baking now helps; I make a list and we stick to about a dozen kinds of baked goods, usually. It helps to (a) keep us from eating so much of it; and (b) keep in mind that while we give it for gifts, we don't have to go nuts heaping plates to the sky since so many folks we know are watching weight, cholesterol, etc. 

We usually do the "old favorites" and my guitar teacher has already put his bid in - I told him I had a new recipe for sugar cookies, and he said, "Well, include those with the old ones!" I love it when people appreciate the work. 

Hubby is going home for Christmas; I think that's a good idea, because my MIL needs to see him. He's been gone from home many years, and hasn't spent a Christmas at home in a long time. It'll work out perfectly because I can be home with the dogs. And the kids aren't kids anymore: we can have a Christmas brunch. 

Old Friends

So, I had to make a hard decision to basically let go of a friendship. I've known this person since second grade...most of my life. And while we'd drifted at one point, we reconnected when I came back to live in IL. 

What happened is complex. First off, I'd noticed in recent years (yeah, it's taking me a long time to come to this point) that she was more of a "taker." I was the one actually putting more energy into the friendship as time went on. At first, we were happy to be friends again. We did a lot of things together. We went on "girls' weekends" and we shopped. We called each other just to talk. We had common interests.

But then things changed. She started being more "it's all me" and would call only to ask me for advice (which she rarely took), or help with a problem or just to vent. Those are all fine things, but when I couldn't get a word in edgewise about MY life, it started to bug me.

Then, visits dwindled; at first it was still at least lunch on our respective birthdays. But then it got to be ONE lunch per year, if we were lucky. Calls did, too. Her daughter had a baby, and she is basically raising the child. Not because the mother is incompetent, and I don't know what I would do in that situation.

Hang on... I do know what I'd do. The parent has to raise the child. You had it, you raise it, barring ailment or very bad economic conditions... Anyway.

She stopped calling unless she needed Hubby to fix her computer, or me to untangle some legal thing - translate something for her, as it were, if she didn't understand it. Or to tell me how she hated her job. 

Then, we only saw each other at Christmas when she has an open house. Or at the grandkid's birthday. 

Then, my brother died. He died on the kid's birthday, so obviously, I wasn't going to the party; but I had hubby deliver the present anyway. I texted her the details of my brother's arrangements.

The day of the wake, she didn't show up. At all. Time went by. No phone call. No "How are you doing, how's your mom?" call or e-mail or text. 

I saw her at the doc's office when I brought Kid #2 in... she says, "So what's up with your brother?" THREE WEEKS AFTER THE WAKE/FUNERAL. Sorry, but what did you THINK was up??? I told her we'd buried him and she said, "Oh, I didn't know when the services were." 

"I texted you."

"I have a new phone. I don't know how to operate it yet."

Kid #2 just sat there waiting for me to blow... I just said, "Oh, well, you could've called me." She changed the subject.

I'm done. I'm not even going to go to her Christmas party. It's just energy wasted. 

I hate this... It'll be spun so as to be all my fault, but what do you suggest? Keeping a one-sided relationship up so that SHE gets to use ME? Or a discussion (which we've had a couple of times --- or at least *I* have tried to have) about how this should be a little more 50/50... 

I'm not asking to be "besties" where we know EVERYTHING about our lives. Or maybe I am, on some different terms. Not like teens, who're constantly in touch. But maybe once a week or two?? For a TWO-WAY chat? Where she asks me how things are going and actually LISTENS to what I have to say? And then I ask her how things are going - a whole two-way thing called a real conversation. 

I'd been trying, but maybe it's just run its course. I asked another friend of mine (and I do see this gal only about 4x/year, and we're good with that). She had this same thing happen to her with a long-term friend, and she told me, "You know what has to happen and no matter how you slice it, it's going to stink." 

She's right. 

On the bright side, it looks as if my 2 friends from Grad School will reconnect and we'll be a threesome again. It's time. 

Maybe this is a case of "lose one, gain two." I don't know. I've never had this happen before, at least with a friend of this duration. 

What would you do?