Well, not it specifically. But it close enough. The plain sock pattern.
The one on Ravelry was the one in German on the Opal sock band. It's so basic that it's just about incomprehensible - to me, at least!!
This one, however, looks like it's from the "Teach Yourself Visually to Knit Socks" book that I have at home. But I downloaded it anyway and will place it on the "Nice Ribbed Sock" clipboard so that I have it in perpetuity.
Or till I lose it again. It's even got the correct heel. Whoop-dee-do!!
Otherwise, not much progress to report on the sock. Since I'm here at work on my day off, I've brought it and I've gotten about 1/2" more on it. And since it's on small DPNs, it doesn't look like much. But it's coming along.
I'm actually itching to start another pair, but I'm resisting till I get this one done, and finish the Pink Sock. Perhaps after that, I'll either start on the next pair of hiking socks (worsted yarn on size 3 DPNs) or yank another ball of Opal out of the stash and start those.
That'll be my "gratification" project. And I'll also try to drag along the Before and After Scarf. I need to finish the peacock colorway and then start the lime-y yellow green part. I know - sounds bilious, but it's pretty alongside the peacock.
And I will reevaluate the projects I need to put on the Project Graph.
Exhausted...
I'm sooooooooooo exhausted. I got up at before-dawn:30 a.m. and had to get to work early. Mind you, normally Friday is my day off. But someone in our Facilities Department basically hates me, because they scheduled the HVAC folks in this morning.
They tell me they'll be done by 2:30 or so - and I hope so. Not only am I tired, but I have a guitar lesson at 5 p.m. so I need to get my skates on and shoot across town.
And of course, I haven't practiced. I've been too busy using the Sibelius program to learn the 18 songs we need to learn for Easter.
Well. Ok. Four. Four songs. But 2 are in Latin. So that counts extra. In my opinion!
I know I'm really tired. Doc K (the instructor from yesterday's all-day class) handed me THREE squares of Ghirardelli "Intense Dark" Twilight Delight 72% cacao squares.
He's a devil... In a very sweet, European way. He asked if I wanted one, and I said yes...then he gave me THREE, saying, "We share."
Anyway, I'm doing pretty well on the new eating plan, but this chocolate is really singing to me now. I get that way when I'm really tired.
Reading...
Remember a while back when I said that I do believe I'm depressed? I mean, I'm not just having a "bummer" day. I'm seriously not happy about stuff I should be happy about. I'm not at "crawl in a hole and drag it back over me" but I'm at "why don't I feel enthused or happy more?"
And I'm not talking giggly-happy Pollyanna. I just want more joy in my life.
I fake it really well.
And I'm scared of meds because the side effects are really nasty.
Anyway.
I'm reading -- or rather, INHALING -- Yoga for Depression by Amy Weintraub. She's not only a Kripalu yoga teacher, but also a person who suffers from depression. My teacher took a class or two with her and was eager in her recommendation of the book.
I may as well highlight the entire thing right now. Heaven knows, I've tabbed it. Almost as much as my Chicago Manual of Style.
She writes compassionately, clearly and with a lot of expertise. She's not writing as a know-it-all expert, but as one who has consulted those experts to inform herself as she writes.
I can't wait to implement some of her techniques.
If you're a yoga teacher or if you suffer from depression - or you know someone with anything from mild depression to bipolar disease to PTSD, it's a great book for them.
So I'll work with what she suggests and see if I can find the light that I once had. Without resorting to either more medicine or medicating myself with food or solitude.
I'm naturally a solitary person, though. I'd rather be home. I have a small circle, and I don't need - or want - a larger one. But lately, I just want to be by myself, and that's not healthy.
Wish me luck, and yeah - I'll take prayers, candles, whatever.
No stress, but I guess that means I need to make a SERIOUS attempt to get enough mat-space on my office floor at home because I've been a gigantic procrastinator; I really should, as a Yoga teacher, have my own consistent daily practice. And I don't. I have a weekly practice, and I usually go through parts of the sequence I'm teaching my students, but I fall short of my own exhortations to my students about "just doing a few poses every day."
Yoga...
Speaking of which, I'm going through a series on Feldenkrais - a way of moving your body. Similar-ish to yoga in that you note your awareness as to what your body is doing, but not like yoga in that the movements are very tiny for the most part.
Very interesting, but not anything I'd like to teach or explore beyond the 5-week series.
And I have an e-mail from my "Yoga for Seniors" teacher asking if I'd like to discuss where my teaching will take me.
I'd like to discuss it, but I need to answer the question for myself first - or at least have an idea.
The Friend Situation...
As I've talked about here, I've had a tussle within myself (like I need it) about Old Friend. I'm talking "known since early grade school" -- we have FINALLY, tentatively, made a date to get together tomorrow after she's finished work.
It'll be the first time in almost 2 years we've seen each other. Not for lack of my reaching out to her.
Is it time to have The Discussion? Is it just something I figure we'll just deal with by limping along? Do I want to have a "bestie" (her term, not mine) who really is only interested in talking about herself? This is a very 90/10 friendship, as it happens.
One thing I may bring up, if it seems appropriate, is that perhaps we should just exchange cards for birthdays and holidays. Gifts - I don't need anything else. Really. "Stuff" I have.
I'll have to let you know if the visit comes to pass.
Random Picture...
This is clearly a photo I shot this past summer, shortly after we walked off the minor Alp. This is at the very beginning of my paragliding adventure.
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| My Jump |
No, I can't really believe I did it, picture evidence to the contrary. But I'm awfully glad I did it.
And yes, under the right circumstances, I could certainly see myself doing it again.
I guess that since yesterday's post was so picture-heavy, I'm really light on them today. But there's nothing new to report that I haven't told you about already above. Not even a cute dog picture.
It's still cold. The snow's still (sort of) melting, and there's progress on the Teal Sock, but it's very incremental. So we shall enjoy the view of the far side of Mt. Blanc and go from there.
I had a nearly-hour-long conversation with my friend "N" yesterday.
I hadn't spoken to her in almost a year (I mean in person or on the phone). She had this job. It was a soul-sucking, time-consuming, all-encompassing job. Such that just about every month, she traveled 50% of the time. And when she was in town, she worked 14-hour days.
Which isn't remarkable as such, since so many people do that today - just to keep employed.
But what she did was remarkable. She quit. She resigned after dealing with an entirely toxic department, a supervisor who shoveled crap on top of her and then chastised her repeatedly for "not performing to expectations" under conditions which can be considered "hostile" to say the least. After giving directions to an assistant who wouldn't do her job, and then being told that she was being given a "job improvement notice" because she couldn't manage. After writing up the assistant and the assistant complaining to HR about her. I just shake my head at that kind of garbage.
And she did it the right way. She submitted a resignation note, cleaned out her office without fanfare and left.
It takes guts to do that. She told me about it while I was in the midst of a therapy visit with Tippi, so I had to wait to call her back. And then during our conversation, she said something which made me stop. "You were the first one I thought about. And I knew that, unlike so many people, you wouldn't have tried to talk me out of walking out."
She's right. I have left soul-sucking jobs. I have done the "travel every month" thing, while trying to raise 2 kids. I would have helped her draft her resignation note.
We discussed what she wanted to do, what her immediate goals were, and yes, we made plans to get together soon.
I had missed her. We e-mailed; I tried to network to find her a new place; but she was always on a plane. She was unable to sustain friendships, was having trouble with stress, and was missing out on so much of her family life.
Was quitting the best response? She's lucky enough to be able to do it. And yes, for her, it was the absolute right thing to do. Yes, the economy is still recovering. And yes, she's at the top of her field and will likely not find another job like that. Which may be a good thing. She's being tagged by the corporate world as "too expensive" -- they can hire 25-year-olds for about 1/3 of her salary.
And she's ok with that. I have been in her shoes and I have been lucky enough to be able to shed a job that wasn't doing me any good. I look forward to seeing N accomplish her goals: to be a present parent; to concentrate on HERSELF; to learn to knit. Those are things that will matter. Not the job.
The Turkey...
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| Lola |
So I wrote a check for the turkey yesterday. And about had a heart attack -- this bird had better be good!! Three Maples Farm is a lovely spot; we got to pet the horses and cows. This is Lola. She likes peppermint candies and is shy.
Hubby about had a fit, too, with the price of Mr. Turkey. But we agreed (sort of) to try something more organic. So we shall see. Right now, Mr. Turkey is in the fridge at work. It'll take him 5 days to thaw, so while I'm at work Saturday (we're having our Thanksgiving early, remember), Hubby will come by and get him. If needed, he'll be getting a cool-water thaw.
Lola will eventually be hamburger. The woman who runs the farm was telling us that she's been involving her kids in the farm. They understand about "raising what you eat" and the concept of attachment. All her animals have names, and all of them, for the most part, end up on a table somewhere. So the next time we go there, it may very well be that Lola's in the freezer. But if you want to make sure your food is not injected with garbage or fed GMO grain, you go to a local farmer. And you ask.
The dogs, of course, had a sniff-fest when I came home. They recognized "horse" since I have come home smelling like that. But "cow" was entirely different. They loved it. It's a shame I didn't get to pet the goats or the pig... Three Maples also sells hand-made goat's milk soap. That's on my agenda for gifts. Support the local farmer.
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| Various papers |
The Storms...
The Shorewood Police Department is acting as a collection spot for storm debris blown up north-east by the horrible storms. Here are some pics of what Hubby collected. He and the dogs were written up in the Chicago Tribune. The Facebook pages coordinating the storm damage "let's return their stuff" efforts are very busy, and I'm so glad social media is working for something good instead of "this is what I ate for dinner" trivialities.
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| Some storm debris |
Imagine, if you will, losing everything. And then potentially having your identity stolen. Seriously - Hubby found checks, bank statements, a car title, school transcripts, an adoption order. This is tremendously sensitive stuff. If you're in the area of the tornado damage and you have found stuff, please pick it up and bring it to the local police department -- you could be saving someone a lot of heartache. Along with the good folks who pitch in to help - there are also scummy people who'd steal an identity in a heartbeat.
Sorry about the sideways shots. You get the idea...
Knittting...
The sock comes along. I did nothing on the afghan yesterday. It seems like between the turkey and the Tuesdays with Tippi, I was running all day.
Migraine News...
Well, I'm having a few more migraines. I'm sure it's because "things are changing." My mom said it gets worse just before you stop having them.
On a good note, though, I just read about a "home remedy" for migraines: the self-induced brain-freeze. In the Chicago Trib's "Health" section, there's a column about various medicines/medical issues. This doctor wrote in, saying that he (or she) suffered from migraines and was caught short without the prescription meds.
So his (or her) friend had him sip ice water and then "gobble down" a bowl of chocolate ice cream. The resulting "brain-freeze" stopped the migraine in its tracks.
Wow... and I bet there was no Rx hangover!! Hubby said, "Well, I guess I go get some chocolate ice cream!" I can get behind that. My health insurance recently switched me to the generic of my migraine Rx. And it works, but the "hangover" is more significant than with the brand-name. But I won't be able to appeal it on that basis. The basic fact is -- the generic works in this instance, so I'm stuck with it. And the day-long "fuzz" I have afterwards. But at least it stops the migraine.
However, that "chocolate ice cream" thing...it's tempting!
Dr. Who...
Yay!!! I found a YouTube channel that will simulcast the premier of the Dr. Who 50th Anniversary episode. I have to work. I want to see it. In case you're interested, it's going to be simulcast at www.youtube.com/bbcamerica -- I can't wait.
I'm a come-lately Whovian. A novice, if you will. My first Doctor was Christopher Eccleston. I've been on a Dr. Who gorge ever since BBC has had their "takeover week" this week.
I seriously want to knit a Dr. Who scarf. In all the specials, that Doctor said that the director at that time gave "a batch of wool" to a lady and said he wanted a scarf. The woman (I can't remember her name) was given no further direction, so she knit all the wool. That's how that 12-foot scarf came to be. I know - I'm what? 5' 4" if that... a 12-foot scarf knit entirely in garter is crazy-talk. But I want one. What can I say??
Christmas...
I'm done shopping. Sorry - I do a lot online and I am usually early. Well, I have one more thing to get: a chain for Kid #1's girlfriend. I'm giving her an amber charm, and I want to have a chain for it.
We still have no idea of when we'll actually do the Christmas Eve dinner. It's too early to figure that out yet. I know I'll be doing Midnight Mass and we still have to figure out how to wire my guitar.
Just about all the online stuff has come in. Hubby teased that he'd "already wrapped" my presents. I will be doing that this weekend; just because once I finish the afghan, I can reclaim my dining room table and we can put up our small tree.
We will probably use the big tree again once our canary goes to Canary Heaven. Right now, his table is in front of the picture window, and our room is small. I have no place to put a big tree - that the dogs won't knock over! I haven't gotten presents for the dogs. I did get Larry the grand-cat a couple of gifts. I figure since I'm baking, it's easy to just bake them some treats, and I wouldn't put those under the tree anyway.
Politics...
What's wrong with this picture? First, the Bishop in Springfield, IL holds an "exorcism" for Governor Pat Quinn because Quinn's signing a gay marriage bill. Now, this: a Methodist pastor has 30 days to renounce his own gay children. Renounce. His. Own. Children. Classy, right? Just click on the word "renounce" here and see what he says. I admire his stance.
Gay marriage is not a threat to society. Just like interracial marriage didn't collapse the whole universe. If you don't like gay marriage, don't marry someone of your own sex. Is that a "simple" answer? Well yeah. Because nobody's forcing you to do that. So don't.
We need to solve unemployment. We need to solve the poverty gap in our country. We are simultaneously the richest and poorest country in the industrialized world. Shame on us. Education needs help (not reform necessarily and certainly not reform by CORPORATIONS because kids aren't widgets). We need to dismantle the "too big to fail" banks back to their original sizes.
And all you want to carp about is gay marriage? Get a grip.
Also, happy birthday to Vice President Joe Biden!!
Random Picture...
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| Shades of Blue by Sonda |
Digging back in the picture archives. This is a hank of my friend Sonda's hand-dyed yarn. I made a hat out of this. I still have some left. I will probably do something with it, but I'm not sure what. I did also use some to make a bag for my mala beads, but I have at least 100 yards left.
Sonda started dying her own yarns and then she got sick. I'm not saying that the two are connected. It was just horrible circumstance that she had a malignant melanoma. And they didn't find it till it reached her brain and her lungs; she died at age 55 and I still have trouble believing she's gone. She was a talented knitter and designer, having patterns in several "One Skein" books published. My knitting friend D and I had purchased this yarn, and we gave full hanks back to Sonda's mom. She's using it to knit shawls for Sonda's nieces for Christmas. I had that yellow - it was a tangled mess, and I took it home and spent a weekend unwinding it. I gave it back to her - and it's where it should be.
I don't have enough of the blue to make an impact so I'm keeping that.
Time to dive back into the real world. I need a stretch break.
Last night, I took a yoga class. That's not the odd thing.
The odd thing was that last week, I was teaching that class. Let me explain.
My teacher took a sabbatical. She asked me to take over teaching the class for an unspecified time. I agreed; (a) because I love the class, and (b) because I've done that particular type of yoga for about 7 years, and was very familiar with it.
So I went happily along, teaching the class since about June. She e-mailed me and said she was ready to come back, and was gracious enough to ask if I was ok with her taking the class back. Of course, I agreed... It's her class; I'm just filling in.
I didn't realize how weird it was to be on the other side of the studio. I've been teaching there since this summer, and even before as a sub for various instructors, and unfortunately, my practice time at that studio was confined to workshops (at which I did the administrative stuff anyway).
I was happy to see my teacher back, but there was something "weird" about it - like it was a different relationship than we had when we were meeting more face-to-face. All summer, we'd been chatting over e-mail, but it's vastly different when you actually come back into that person's physical orbit.
I confess, I made a faux pas.... I spoke up during class to clarify something for another student. And I shouldn't have done that. I'm not the teacher. Habits hard to break, I suppose.
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| Red cotton blend |
Anyway, we spoke a bit after class, but it was - again - not the same. I'm hoping that we get over this bumpy re-start and get back to our familiar relationship. Maybe it's just the re-entry. I know that can be hard. But it does pass.
Knitting
I have a crapload of this red yarn from my friend D. Not sure what to do with it. It's a lovely crisp red. Would make a nice t-shirt, so perhaps that's its ultimate destiny. It's a little light for a sweater and I have too much for a shawl. I can't remember the exact blend, but I know D is fond of the sport-weight for her sweaters. That would make it perfect for maybe even a Sally Melville tunic. I have to check yardage.
Ravelry, here we come.
I'm determined to finish a Fluffy Scarf today. I've probably got less than 2 yards of the yarn left in this current ball, so I want to get that one done and maybe start another one. If I can do one a week or so, that would be good.
The Charity Afghan -- I sent out a picture to our group and they like my layout, so as soon as I finish the last 2 squares (and the first of them is within 2 or 3 rows of being done), I can start assembling.
Memorial Garden
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| St. Francis and Memorial |
Here's a shot of our memorial garden with our cheap-o Menard's solar lights. Hey, four bucks a light, they're LED changing colors and crackle glass. If they last the year, no biggie. If they last longer, yippee!!
We've done this for a couple of years now, and I keep rearranging things. I like it. We don't keep the dogs' ashes, but we have memorial stones made for them.
It might be silly. But our dogs are integral members of our family. If you're a dog person, you know what I mean. Even cat people get that...
On the other side of St. Francis (as you face this, it's on the right), there is a round stone with a saying about meeting in Heaven. That's also surrounded by solar lights, and I have a stainless steel rose that Kid #1 crafted for me. It's beautiful and I get a lot of comments about his talent with the flower.
On the left, basically, is our A/C unit, and alongside that is the kennel. We made this area into a rock garden because it's an east exposure, and it got so hot at one point that nothing would grow.
Now, of course, the maple tree has taken over and 90% of the time it's in the shade...and only begonias will grow on my patio! The patio is a simple one; just 12x12 paver stones, and we actually don't even sit outside much.
In this lifetime, I'd like to fence the yard, so that we can sit out there, and have the dogs in the yard with us. They do use the kennel, but we'd like to have some more interaction with them while we perhaps sit and spend time together.
Shoes
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| Paint splatter Danskos |
I think my Dansko clogs may actually be hurting my feet. Dang. They're very comfortable, but my arches are killing me. Yeah, I sound like I'm 100 years old. I have very high arches, which isn't a good thing; also arthritis in the feet. Also not a good thing. And I love to go barefoot at home. Another not-good-thing... Anyway, today I have the paint-splatter ones on, and I had to use some arch supports. They feel ok, but I wonder about it.
They're not cheap shoes; and they are worth every dime, but not if they're painful. I am fussy about my shoes. It's not worth it to me to spend money on shoes if I can't wear them.
This is a very odd angle, since it seems like I don't have any ankles. Actually, I have decent ankles; it's just hard to take a "selfie" of your feet...
I wore these when I was with my brother running around doing Estate stuff, and he finally noticed them. He said, "You mean you PAID for shoes to look like this??"
Hey, you have to make a statement somehow, and I've gone past the "cute socks" phase. I now wear hand-knitted socks, thank you very much...
Chai
Just in case you're wondering, Tazo's Chocolate Chai is the Devil's work... It's not quite tea. More of a spicy hot chocolate with the caffeine from the tea. I'm giving it up for Lent, starting now.
I wish Tazo would make a low-sugar variety like Oregon does - I mean low-sugar in the sense of not using the fake crap, but just less sugar.
I need to start making my own again. It's easier and I can control the sugar myself. Maybe on The Google, I can find a chocolate chai recipe?? That would be nice!
Cute dog pic
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| Waiting for visitors |
Because everyone needs a cute dog pic... This is Tippi in her most recent therapy visit, waiting for students to come visit her.
Yes, she tolerates the headgear. For a moment. Luckily, she was distracted by the groundskeeper running a lawnmower.
For Halloween, I have a purple witch hat for her. Yes, you can just imagine her enthusiasm...
Baking
Have to decide about Christmas baking. Yeah, this early. I think we might be able to do potica again this year; it's been a couple of years since we've done that. I have vacation time AND comp time to use, so I can take time off actually in the middle of December. One of the nice things about working in an academic setting is that things calm wayyyyyyyy down after Final Exams in December. It's a good time to take off, recharge and then get back to the swing of things after 2014 dawns.
Anyway, thinking about the baking now helps; I make a list and we stick to about a dozen kinds of baked goods, usually. It helps to (a) keep us from eating so much of it; and (b) keep in mind that while we give it for gifts, we don't have to go nuts heaping plates to the sky since so many folks we know are watching weight, cholesterol, etc.
We usually do the "old favorites" and my guitar teacher has already put his bid in - I told him I had a new recipe for sugar cookies, and he said, "Well, include those with the old ones!" I love it when people appreciate the work.
Hubby is going home for Christmas; I think that's a good idea, because my MIL needs to see him. He's been gone from home many years, and hasn't spent a Christmas at home in a long time. It'll work out perfectly because I can be home with the dogs. And the kids aren't kids anymore: we can have a Christmas brunch.
Old Friends
So, I had to make a hard decision to basically let go of a friendship. I've known this person since second grade...most of my life. And while we'd drifted at one point, we reconnected when I came back to live in IL.
What happened is complex. First off, I'd noticed in recent years (yeah, it's taking me a long time to come to this point) that she was more of a "taker." I was the one actually putting more energy into the friendship as time went on. At first, we were happy to be friends again. We did a lot of things together. We went on "girls' weekends" and we shopped. We called each other just to talk. We had common interests.
But then things changed. She started being more "it's all me" and would call only to ask me for advice (which she rarely took), or help with a problem or just to vent. Those are all fine things, but when I couldn't get a word in edgewise about MY life, it started to bug me.
Then, visits dwindled; at first it was still at least lunch on our respective birthdays. But then it got to be ONE lunch per year, if we were lucky. Calls did, too. Her daughter had a baby, and she is basically raising the child. Not because the mother is incompetent, and I don't know what I would do in that situation.
Hang on... I do know what I'd do. The parent has to raise the child. You had it, you raise it, barring ailment or very bad economic conditions... Anyway.
She stopped calling unless she needed Hubby to fix her computer, or me to untangle some legal thing - translate something for her, as it were, if she didn't understand it. Or to tell me how she hated her job.
Then, we only saw each other at Christmas when she has an open house. Or at the grandkid's birthday.
Then, my brother died. He died on the kid's birthday, so obviously, I wasn't going to the party; but I had hubby deliver the present anyway. I texted her the details of my brother's arrangements.
The day of the wake, she didn't show up. At all. Time went by. No phone call. No "How are you doing, how's your mom?" call or e-mail or text.
I saw her at the doc's office when I brought Kid #2 in... she says, "So what's up with your brother?" THREE WEEKS AFTER THE WAKE/FUNERAL. Sorry, but what did you THINK was up??? I told her we'd buried him and she said, "Oh, I didn't know when the services were."
"I texted you."
"I have a new phone. I don't know how to operate it yet."
Kid #2 just sat there waiting for me to blow... I just said, "Oh, well, you could've called me." She changed the subject.
I'm done. I'm not even going to go to her Christmas party. It's just energy wasted.
I hate this... It'll be spun so as to be all my fault, but what do you suggest? Keeping a one-sided relationship up so that SHE gets to use ME? Or a discussion (which we've had a couple of times --- or at least *I* have tried to have) about how this should be a little more 50/50...
I'm not asking to be "besties" where we know EVERYTHING about our lives. Or maybe I am, on some different terms. Not like teens, who're constantly in touch. But maybe once a week or two?? For a TWO-WAY chat? Where she asks me how things are going and actually LISTENS to what I have to say? And then I ask her how things are going - a whole two-way thing called a real conversation.
I'd been trying, but maybe it's just run its course. I asked another friend of mine (and I do see this gal only about 4x/year, and we're good with that). She had this same thing happen to her with a long-term friend, and she told me, "You know what has to happen and no matter how you slice it, it's going to stink."
She's right.
On the bright side, it looks as if my 2 friends from Grad School will reconnect and we'll be a threesome again. It's time.
Maybe this is a case of "lose one, gain two." I don't know. I've never had this happen before, at least with a friend of this duration.
What would you do?
