It's been awhile since I ranted. And it's time, because something is gnawing at my craw...
I know that "back then," it was often common to blame the mom. "You must've done something to make him gay," was something that I overheard which had been said to Mrs. G. And I think that's insane, but that's looking at it from NOW. Not then. When all kinds of child-rearing theories were really out there in the crazy-zone.
Or as I call them: my friends.
I have other friends who are pretty homophobic. "Oh we love XYZ..." But you don't because you don't love ALL of who that person is. Two of my friends have kids who've come out as either gay or bisexual. These are kids I've known for a while, and as I said, they're "the kids."
My point here is that if you only like Kyle because he's not in a relationship, and a gay relationship (or as I call it, "a relationship") makes you queasy? What the ever-lovin' heck is wrong with you? ANY relationship is none of your business. Unless, of course, you suspect abuse, and that's a different kettle of fish.
Anyone's relationship: Mine + Hubby; my sister + BIL; John and Jake's; Sarah and Jane's... NONE of your business. Off limits. Period.
My boss is a member of the gay community and we've chatted superficially about our own relationships: as in "some days I feel that my spouse and I are speaking different languages." TOTALLY relatable in ANY relationship! As she and I get closer and closer to retirement age, we're talking about our spouse's visions for this significant chage in one's life. Again, TOTALLY relatable, right? No matter who you are, retirement is a big step. Stuff happens, because, underneath it all, we're all human.
When someone says, "I like Artie, but it seems like all he talks about is this pride stuff," what they're saying is that they can't or won't accept ALL of who Artie is. So let me pose you this idea: It seems like you only like people who are exactly like you. Can you imagine if we were all alike? How dead-boring would THAT be? If that was the case, then I would propose the next step: If you are going to talk to me, you have to be as crunchy-granola, progressive-liberal, tree-hugging, yoga-loving hippie as I am. Otherwise, I can't accept anything you say. (Of course this is inane, because those of us in this category are pretty much accepting of everyone, which drives more conservative folks nuts.) Can you do that? Can you drop or hide huge chunks of your own personality to conform to someone else's idea of who YOU should be? Can you DENY a huge part of yourself to bend into some mold that someone else is compelling you to squish into in order to be "loved" by them?
Think about that for a second. I'll wait...
And no. Jesus never said anything about homosexuality. Nope. Never. I'm sure there are some folks who will argue with me about this. Here's a handy link...Take a second to read it. I'm not asking you to roll over and agree with me. I'm asking you to just read and consider that there are other, valid, scholarly opinions.
So it's Pride Month. And much like Black Lives Matter, it's quite controversial but that's us having the privilege of being straight folks who've been the "norm" for generation upon generation. Let's put it this way: nobody is asking you to give up any rights. Your marriage is your marriage. John & Jake's marriage is their marriage. I can bet you lunch that any problems YOU have in your marriage are NOT caused by John & Jake. Same the other way.
When I talked to one of my friends, I said, "You know where I stand on this." And she said, "Yes, but do others?" And I thought about that...am I really being a good ally? I'm determined to speak out more. I've got some banners coming for the house, and while they won't get here tomorrow, I can keep the Ally flag up as long as I want. And I promise myself to use my voice for others. Because I'm in a place of relative privilege and I need to be better at being a good human being.
LGBTQIA+ and other minorities are just asking to be recognized. "Just" asking. To. Be. Recognized. As humans. Again - think about that. It's not pie. It's not a finite bucket-O-benefits that goes empty. It's recognition of one person's or group's humanity by another person or group of people. Kind of like that "love thy neighbor" verse in the Bible.
The Knitting...
Still wedded to the Cowl for Christmas, but I'm getting to the point where the variegated cake is getting hollow in the middle - always a good sign!
It's still miles, and miles, and MILES of stockinette stitch. Easy enough, but I've already had to tink once because I was watching a mystery and I slipped a stitch...or something. I never really figured out what I did, but it was wrong. I haven't been working on it since the oral surgery, but I'll catch you up on that in a bit.
And this being acrylic, it will not block out. Let me repeat this. Acrylic doesn't block. No sense trying. It won't work. But for this? I don't care if it curls; actually I think this will make it warmer to wear because the double-sausage folds will give enough bulk but also a bit of air which will act like an insulator. You can see from this picture that it's just a little bit like a Danish pastry!
I really want to get back to my February Lady Sweater and the linen t-shirt that I had started, but I also have two or 3 things I want to knit for Christmas and I know my own speed. Slow.
So. Living with the Cowl for Christmas for now.
On my list as soon as I finish this is another shawl - maybe. I could also do another cowl, but I'm pretty sure I'll want to tear my hair out.
The Garden...
Which has been my dream for ages. And ages. And it was lighter than a gargoyle. Not cheaper, but lighter.
It's in the front yard, and we love it. We've actually used our porch now this spring/summer more than we had in years. It's a west exposure, so it's been hard to do in the afternoons because it's kind of like an oven. We're gradually getting that space into shape, too. It's a nice size, and we're able to get 4 lawn chairs there and have visitors.
This fountain is absolutely simple. We looked at a lot of them and (a) they were REALLY expensive; and (b) they had too many nooks and crannies...we have maple trees in the yard and cottonwood in the neighborhood. We wanted something simple to clean. This is a 3-piece arrangement and The Concrete Place sells you the fountain WITH the pump apparatus, which is cool. There are LED lights in the top part and it kind of reminds me of a simple one I've seen in Greece.
The milkweed population is being stringently controlled down to 9 plants. We've been pulling the others out. We have a ton of wildflowers blooming and we've seen a couple Monarchs in the area already. And swallowtails...we have a baby!! I just saw him this morning. Her/it??? On the new dill. We ripped out the old dill and potted up some new dill. So far, they haven't found the parsley.
Hubby got the Bunny Fence because of what we planted this year: our usual Romaine, 2 kinds of Kale, Chinese Broccoli, carrots, onions, leeks, chives, and asparagus (a future harvest) and two kinds of tomatoes - Roma and Cherokee Purple. Those are in the Back Garden.
I also put a bubbler in the back bird bath, which works about half the day, because of the backyard maple tree, that shades about 2/3 of the yard. Yep. One tree. Two-thirds of the yard. The bubbler helps keep the mosquito population down, and also attracts more birds to that birdbath.
And this is where the Renegade Squirrels live for the most part. They've mostly dug up my shamrock plant and my upright fuschias. More peppermint oil... While the Bunny Fence won't keep the Renegade Squirrels out, it will at least keep the bunnies out of the main part of the garden.
The Northern Garden (the stuff we put on the deck) is ok - not as good as last year, but then the Renegade Squirrels have been rampant. And this was the stuff we planted pretty early, so it got a little messed up with the late frost we had. The tomatoes are doing ok, but a little stubby. The parsley here is skimpy. And I'm trying something new: celery!! I'll let you know how that goes; I've never done that before.
I've doused everything in peppermint oil, which is the latest "thing that works." Sort of. The bunnies can't get to this stuff, because (a) it's on the porch and the dogs go in and out that door...Danger, Danger Will Robinson!! and (b) bunnies apparently are too lazy to do steps, when they have so many other options other places in the yard. It may sound funny, but I toss scraps out to the bunnies. Keep 'em happy, I guess. Apple cores, when I change the oranges in the Oriole feeder, trimmings from carrots, radishes, cucumbers, etc. And they eat them. So it keeps them fat and happy and out of my other stuff.
Kitchen Sink Smoothie
1 bunch fresh romaine
1 bunch fresh kale
1 bunch fresh parsley
10 oz. coconut milk
1 Granny Smith Apple, cored and chunked
1 small-to-medium avocado
2 knobs ginger **
1 small banana
1 c. frozen blueberries
1 scoop collagen powder
2 tsp. matcha
6 ice cubes
In my VitaMix, I layer: coconut milk, apple, avocado, greens (stems and all), frozen berries, banana... Whiz that for a bit, then add the powdered collagen and matcha, and the ice cubes; add more coconut water here if needed. Then whiz till it's the texture you want.
** I buy my ginger, chunk it up and freeze it. Don't even bother peeling it. Just toss it in the blender.
Yes, it looks chocolate. I promise you it's not. But come to think of it, I do have some cacao nibs...Hmmmm... Anyway, this makes 3 servings. So I have breakfast for the next couple of days.
I also made Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. Don't judge - I have a sore jaw and a screw in there. I also ate said gelato last night with a banana, so like a banana split. Again, no judgment till you've been in my shoes!
Oral Surgery...
So Monday, I had Phase 2 of the implant process. Yes, a little late; I thought they were supposed to call me, but COVID... Anyway, I was scheduled relatively quickly, which was good. I was very apprehensive about this part: inserting the screw into my jaw. I had the vague idea that the screw would be standing up. Of course, I was mistaken, but that's the kind of stuff I lay awake thinking about.
I had a rough night; it's my lower left jaw, and of course, I'm a left-side sleeper. Swallowing was painful and I had the misfortune to sneeze. Ouch. I didn't sleep well the night before, as you can imagine.
So yesterday, I ate gelato. In my defense, I'm also on an antibiotic so I had to eat something. Once with a banana, which was a bit too much to chew. Yeah, it was that sore. And it's also got blueberry compote on it...I figured getting a few fruits in wouldn't hurt. Before I went to bed, I was brushing my teeth (avoiding that side, of course) and I noticed how swelled it was. I had no idea...
This morning, it was worse and I skipped a Zoom call; talking was problematic and I thought it was best to just rest.
I'm feeling quite a bit better. A couple rounds of ibuprophen and lots of water, a couple rounds of ice packs and I'm nearly human!
Random Picture...
Hubby was jazzed (not) at the prospect of yet another mug. What can I say? I have a bunch to get rid of, once the state re-opens and we can have a rummage sale. I've also decluttered my water bottles, since that Hydro Flask is ginormous (40 oz).
We've been continuing with the "Swedish Death Cleaning" stuff; filing what needs to be filed, ditching stuff we "thought" we wanted to keep but have realized it's not necessary. Organizing the pantry. All that stuff that I suppose we were "supposed to do" during the pandemic shut-down, but we didn't. So no, I didn't learn a new language; I didn't lose 20 lbs. (as if); I didn't totally reorganize my office (that's still a work-in-progress, honestly) and I didn't totally redecorate my house. I survived a bout of COVID, my studio survived, I did manage to edit a book and write a chapter in that book, but otherwise, I won't exactly win "achiever of the pandemic" and I'm good with all of that, thanks.
I just got irritated (rant #2) when seeing some posts on the socials that were all, "Ok the state is opening, what things have you accomplished during this down time?" What? It WASN'T down time for a lot of us. And it was pretty traumatic for far too many people, so I find myself resenting the question. People died. People lost employment. Not everyone was privileged enough (second time I've used that phrase here today) to actually "do something productive" and I just find that those who're saying that are coming from some space I can't quite grasp.
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