A Radical Act of Compassion...

...maybe.

Or maybe a Radical Act of Self-Realization. 

I was doing some puttering around and came across 4 notebooks. And it hit me with the force of a physical blow. 

These notebooks chronicle my long, long, LONG fight with my body. Otherwise known as "My Attempts to Lose (and keep off) Weight." I've done it all. Weight Watchers, Adkins, Cabbage Soup, No-Carb, Lo-Carb, Sugar Detox, Metabolism B (which worked a treat, except I ate no fruit for an entire year and got "derailed" by eating a banana...)... 

I've exercised. I've had pedometers. I now wear a Jawbone Up! fitness band. 

4 notebooks

And I diaried each thing. Each step. Each workout. Each bite of food I put in my mouth. What hit me were the days where I put little "frowny faces" on the entries. 

Look, I'm not aiming to get to where I was pre-kids. I'm not an idiot. I need to be healthier, but more and more, it feels like I'm losing that battle. 

I am looking 60 in the face soon. I have heart issues. My family has a history of awful cholesterol numbers. I had gestational diabetes with Kid #2. My younger brother is already on cholesterol meds and my sister has a slew of conditions including IBS among other things. 

My brother is the one encouraging me to try (yet again) - Whole30 this time. Which, normally, is nearly how I eat anyway. The holidays have caused me to not only "fall" off the wagon, but leap. I eat when I'm stressed. 

I sit here, staring at those notebooks. Wondering. Trying to discern the message they're obviously sending me. 

Strangely enough, I got 3 different journals for Christmas this year. What's the message there, do you think? 

I'm not whining. Realistically (since I know this vessel in which I live and I know its capabilities and restrictions), I need to lose about 20 lbs. I need to exercise more. I need to do a lot of things...and life gets in the way of the plans I have for myself. 

It could be a lot worse (which, I'm told, is self-defeating - not acknowledging the reality of MY reality). I need to do something, and what I'm thinking about is fairly radical: I'm thinking of burning the notebooks. 

Well, I don't want to waste the unused paper, so tearing out the pages relating to weight/exercise/eating. And burning those pages. Starting 2017 off with the realization that "I" am not my "body" but that I do need to take better care of that body if I want it to continue to serve me. 

It's windy today and we don't have a fire pit, chiminea, or burn barrel. So maybe tomorrow is Burning Day. Thich Nhat Hahn says: "If we face our unpleasant feelings with care, affection, and nonviolence, we can transform them into the kind of energy that is healthy and has the capacity to nourish us." 

So it's time to look up Burning Rituals and get my stuff in order. Maybe that's a way to get 2017 in order. 

Knitting...

Pumpkin Layette

Baby Knitting 2016 is DONE. It's all complete, I even bought the bag and card and wrapped it up ahead of time. And I put the gift where I know I'll find it... Don't laugh - you've probably done the same thing. And if you haven't? You will at some point. 

Goals for 2017 include finishing a few WIPs. So last night, I began working again on the Shape-It Scarf. I have about 1" to go on the "wings." The challenge here will be how to block it, because it's going to be rather large. I need floor space. I have the blocking wires (yay! gift to self!) and the foam lock-together tiles. I just have to figure out where to put it away from the dogs. 

I've posted a few of the pictures on Instagram, and it's been a learning curve to figure out what's going on with that program. I feel like a dunce, but I'll get the hang of it eventually. 

As you may recall, the Shape-it Scarf is a take-off on a Sally Melville design. The lady at the Wool & Co. store (before it changed owners) suggested the "cobweb" yarn that I'm using, which is baby alpaca lace. 

I will have a literal half-ball of this stuff left over. It's over 800 yards. So my next task will be "what to do with the rest of it??" There are a few little shawlettes on Ravelry that I think I can wing out of this. Even a teeny little ascot would be cute. 

I think I can get this done by the end of this holiday period. Then I'll start to finish the mates to the singleton socks. And then I'll work on more socks. Dig out the February Lady Sweater. Root through the closet and see what I've got stashed. 

Kid #1 brought me yarn and a pattern with cables. That's on the list. Not sure how that'll work - my experience with cables is approximately --- well. None. But how hard can it be? I'm told it's a piece of cake, so we'll see how true that is. 

Essential Oils...

Last night, I achieved, with the help of two team members, a new rank in Young Living. It looks like this is going to be the year for this business to expand. So I'm doing some "envisioning" and using the YL "Envision" blend, which is really quite lovely. 

I sell these through the studio, and I can ship anywhere. So if you'd like to learn more about essential oils and how they can enhance your life, let me know. 

And that's the extent of my "sales pitch." I can't sell ice to a person in the desert. But skeptic that I am, I'm telling you - I really do enjoy using the essential oils. I like knowing that this company uses sustainable sources. I like knowing that, with their "Seed to Seal" process, everything is 100% therapeutic grade, and not mixed with fillers or other oils. 

I used other oils before. I love blending them for sprays in my yoga classes. So I was re-mixing a spray which had Rose essential oil. I grabbed the bottles that I used last time, and opened up the Rose. Wheeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww! Unbeknownst to me, the Rose wasn't really "rose." It was only 5% rose. Five. Percent. The rest was grapeseed oil. Which turned rancid. 

It was nasty. Tossed the whole thing in the trash. Young Living's Rose oil is 100% rose. One hundred percent. 

It's that kind of quality that I appreciate, and enjoy bringing to my students. Like I said, if you're interested, check here, then send me a message. I'll be happy to help. Do your own research. I'm not going to twist anyone's arm. Quality is as quality does. 

Tippi...

I'm so pretty!

Tippi is a goofball. She "dressed" for the occasion of both New Year's Eve and today, her putative birthdate - and "gotcha" date. Last night, she sat with me while I sat up watching the Twilight Zone marathon and waiting for the inevitable fireworks/noise/hoopla that brought in the new year. Quinn headed for her crate early. 

I diffused Peace & Calming oil and rubbed a bit of Lavender on each of their heads. Not Raisa, though - she wants nothing to do with essential oils, and scorns the elkhounds' fear of the noise. She was just more or less satisfied with settling in to sleep it all away...

So Tippi also did her "Norwegian Couch-hound" impersonation... She doesn't get up on the couch a lot. She did as a younger dog, but lately, she only goes up once in a while. She prefers to lay alongside my knitting chair, since it's MUCH more convenient for her to beg a belly rub from me. 

Norwegian Couch-Hound

Last night, though, in a break from knitting and TV-watching, I got her up there and was able to at least brush half of her. She loves being brushed - no worries there - but was comfy, so I didn't flip her over. 

I ended up going to bed about 11:30 or so...I probably should've just stayed up since the usual woofing, snorting and barking ensued at midnight. But I was tired. 

Woke up today at the usual time, and for a Sunday, remarkably, decided to not go to Mass. Kid #1 and I will go to lunch, probably try to visit my mom (unless she's somewhere else...) and then come back here. I've cleaned off my "junk table" and put away many of the Christmas gifts, so it's one of those days to just check stuff off my list. I did some stuff for the yoga studio, prepared "New Years" cards (for those late-arrival Christmas greetings), and renewed a few magazine subscriptions. 

Work is done for a bit.

Random Picture...

From today's comics section in the local paper. Ready or not - we're in for an interesting 2017. 

I'm not sure what it'll bring. I'm hoping for peace and a sense of safety. I'm not sure about that. I'm not sure about much. But all I can do is go forward. My friend Joan (who gave me the three journals) gave me a mug (Hubby loved that - not)... It says, "Don't look back. You're not going in that direction."

May all of us face forward, square our shoulders and move on. We're maybe not sure where we're moving on TO, but moving forward is our greatest strength. We shouldn't forget...we should move in a positive direction. 

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like...

...BABY knitting! 

So this got done... I'm working on the booties now. This hat went like a dream. It's an adaptation of a simple rolled-brim hat. I felt like an I-cord. And this is about 3.5" of I-cord, simply knotted. The decreases went easily, and in the pattern, the crown is flat. I just wanted a little extra zing for this little one coming along. 

The booties are going remarkably swiftly. It's the "Easiest and Fastest Baby Booties Ever!" pattern, on Ravelry. 

Truly, that's the name. The pattern calls for stripes, but I'm doing all orange - I thought I would do something different, so I do have some brown super-wash wool, but this is so stinking easy! There's no need to complicate it. I've already finished one bootie. It actually only took about 4 hours of total knitting. FOUR. HOURS. Period. There are only 35 rows in the entire pattern. 

I may start adding these to my stash. Great idea to get some stashed leftovers taken care of. I'm making the 3 - 6 month size. I don't want to make anything larger because they're actually slippery for little feet to walk in, so I'll stick with the "pre-walking" stage. 

So they're on size 5 needles. Knitted flat. See the rubber bands? I'm using the DPNs I used for the hat, but I didn't want to chase stitches. So I stuck a couple of rubber bands on the ends. Point protectors would also work well, but of course, I don't know where mine are. 

Till I'm done; then every point protector I have will show up!

Christmas...

So here's the Official Potica Plate in action. As you can see, it worked quite nicely. 

Kid #1 is now home. He just had his Christmas. It was "sock-a-palooza" for him. Yes, they were on sale. And yes, he got a lot of them. I also got him a blue Columbia pullover, and he put that right on... We'll be visiting my mother sometime over the weekend. 

Thankfully, I have Monday off, so we'll be doing something special. Not sure what. However, since he says he lives "in the boonies," he did mention he wanted tacos. This could be interesting. 

Midnight Mass was a trial. Well, it was lovely, but it didn't help that my "Silent Night" got even MORE silent. While tuning the guitar, I popped the low E string. Which takes some work. I knew it was going to happen...the strings should've been changed, but I got distracted, and ZING. Just a pain in the rear end. 

The Christmas Proclamation went well. And Tom's brother showed up. Tom, our organist, has been dead for 3 years. It was really tough on Mark. But he's at least back in church. It's a start. It's hard. But he's doing ok. 

This is The Door. Ever since I was a kid, we've hung our cards on the back of the front door. This was foreign to Hubby. And for a while, we just put our cards in a basket. But this year, I went back to The Door. I like it. It looks like Christmas. And since we didn't decorate like we used to do (which means my December Snowman is already stuck in the closet for another year, as is my "Santa's List" cross-stitch...) - well, we decorated the door. 

Instagram...

I was invited to join Instagram. I know - you don't have to be invited. But I did it. I'm still figuring it all out. But this was the first thing I posted. It's using one of their filters, but for the most part - call me a crazy person, but I prefer my pictures the way I take them. 

I think Hubby ought to be on it. He's a REAL photographer, and his pictures are stunning. But he's not much for social media, except for Facebook. 

So I'll just be on there on my own, and see what I can do. I'm trying to promote the yoga studio as much as I can, so perhaps this is a good way to do it. 

I've been talking about having him shoot some pictures of me in various yoga poses (believe me, I'm no "backbend in a bikini" yogini...), but first I'm working on losing the 20 lbs. I've gained. 

Whole 30...

Speaking of which... My brother suggested I try Whole 30. I've bought the book. I'm not jumping in on January 1, though. I haven't read all of it, and I want to see what I'm getting myself into. I've done a Metabolism B kind of program, which was basically a strict sugar detox. 

My problem with THAT program (though I lost 30 lbs.) was that fruit was a no-no. I'm all about balance (being a yogini, that is...) and I couldn't see me not ever eating fruit again. 

I'm sure it'll be blog-fodder when I start, so we'll see.

Random Picture...

The Changing of the Strings. This was Christmas day. Half-way through. I don't play a lot, so I can change my strings only a few times a year. I take the time to clean my guitar and polish it up. 

I use Elixir strings, and I find that they do last a good long time. I also have a metabolic problem with metal. 

I tend to corrode metal. I joke with Hubby that what that means is that I need GOOD jewelry. But what it means is that my skin is acidic. I will corrode most metal (I've taken the finish off more than a few needles in my day), and silver turns black on me in a matter of a few hours. 

The Elixir strings have a nano coating on them and they tend to last a bit longer for me. My guitar teacher changes his strings monthly. And he said, 'daily when I'm recording.' 

I'm not recording. So I take my time and get my wear out of the strings. 

I'll post later when the booties are done; in the meantime, have a happy, safe, and promising New Year.