So Nice, I'm Doing It Twice...

That actually covers a couple of things... 

First off, after my little fling in the ER, I was told that eventually, I'd have to re-do my PVI procedure (Pulmonary Vein Isolation) (a/k/a cardiac ablation). So I asked, just as a general question, if I could get it done within this calendar year -- insurance and all that. 

They said, "Well, we can try, but we can't guarantee" and a tentative time-frame of February-ish was decided. (FYI, Raisa is only there because she's cute...)

Well. I got a phone call last Friday. "We have an opening." Tuesday. Pearl Harbor Day, as it happens. Easy to remember, for sure. 

So Monday, I'm having a TEE (Trans-Esophageal Echo) to see if there are any clots in my heart; if there are, I'm not having the PVI. And then Tuesday morning, the PVI will happen. 

My biggest worry? That I'll be 2 days without morning tea and that could be a migraine on top of everything else. I'm off my cardiac meds for a few days, and I'm a tad nervous that my heart will go back into A-fib - which in this case would be a good thing. But they kind of know the wonky area. And they think that some of the cells grew back. 

Talk about regeneration! If I wanted to be Dr. Who, I'd have asked to be taller. And maybe a ginger (that's a Dr. Who joke, folks). 

And the Thursday before The Phone Call? Well, my right knee swelled for some odd reason. Probably because of my left hip injury (I'm falling apart, I'm tellin ya!). I've been compensating a lot, not putting weight evenly on both legs. 

It's getting better, thanks to a brace that makes Scarlett O'Hara's corset look comfy. But anyway, the ortho guy took a couple syringes of fluid off the knee and shot in some cortisone. Not my fave, but it does feel better. I'll be talking to them about gel injection to help with the knee arthritis. 

I'm happy to be above-ground. But getting old? Not for sissies!

The Knitting...

I'm rediscovering the joy of bulky-ish yarn! I got the Purl Soho Bandana Cowl pattern (free here) and didn't have access to the yarn they suggested. I went to my LYS and found this Riflessi Adriafil aran-weight yarn. Not too bulky, a bit of wool, a bit of nylon, some silver. So I wasn't confident in my ability to do the switching from metric to US, even with my phone app -- I bought two of each in a beautiful cream (L) and a stunning steel-grey (R). Unfortunately, the colorways are discontinued.

Of course, the cowl only takes 1 ball. In my defense, the pattern said that for some yarns, it would be 2 skeins. (Go ahead. Laugh.)

I learned short rows - or at least a different variation of them. I played the video about a jillion times. I mean, I know short rows from knitting so many socks. But somehow, the idea of "wrap and turn" became foreign in my mind. Which it's not. We do that with socks. 

Maybe I was just having a mental-pause. 

So, the upshot is, I really love the cowl. And I had the yarn. So I'm doing THAT twice as well. Now I've definitely got those short rows in my head. And wowza, the cowl takes literally a week for me. Which means for knitters who go at normal speed, maybe 2 days? A weekend? A great quickie gift or stash buster. 

I will likely keep the cream one, because I did something wonky on the short rows, and there's a hole where it shouldn't be. 

I bet that pattern would be great done holding thinner yarns together. What a lovely tweed effect that would be. Maybe there's a third cowl in my future? 

Seriously, when you look at it, it seems like it'll never fit, but it actually is quite nice. Just enough. 

Prayer Shawls...

I belong to a women's group at church, and our main mission is to pray. I also occasionally do "prayer squares" for the shawl-knitting group; I don't have a ton of time to do a whole lap blanket or afghan, but these little squares are kind of cute, and can be used as a meditation device, or a marker for your suitcase, for all we care! Anyway, as you can imagine, the "underground communication network" at church knows about the PVI (and I'm fine with that... see below), and all of my prayer group picked a shawl for me. It's lovely. And warm. A gorgeous shell stitch. I'm totally unsure what the yarn is, but it's unique, that's for sure. It's a combo of a bunch of different colors; I don't think it's "scrappy," but the colors are an odd blend. Odd but they work, you know? I love the splashes of purple showing up and the green. Unexpectedly colorful and wonderfully warm. 

A-Fib...

So here's why I don't care if people know. It took me a full FOUR YEARS to get diagnosed. I spent several of those years arguing with the doctors about the fact that I'd have these episodes. And the standard answer? "You're AT THAT AGE." 

Excuse me? You wouldn't tell a MAN that if he complained of heart troubles. You'd whisk him into testing, get him diagnosed and treated before he even realized he was at the doctor's office. 

But women? "Of a certain age"? We're "imagining it" or it's "in our head" or "it's part of growing older." 

Pardon me, but screw that. Yes, A-fib (atrial fibrillation) is more common in men till about abe 75. But according to studies, it IS enough of a concern for women, with a higher stroke risk. In my family, we have a history of heart disease. We also have a history of the women living forever, considering...but still. 

The fact that I was dismissed continually, doctor after doctor, and given the "menopause" excuse? Forget that. Doctors still tend to be dismissive of health concerns of women. We're still tagged with that "hysterical" thing from the Victorian Age. 

Check out the Stroke Risks for women. And talk to your doctor. If your doctor doesn't listen? Then find another one. I actually dumped a doctor for one whose practice is solely focused on women, which makes me feel like I've been able to discuss things on a deeper level. I feel heard and I feel like my concerns are documented properly and taken seriously. 

That's gold, friends. 

Christmas Baking...

It's that time of the year. And yes, even with a medical problem, I'm going to try to get some baking done. Not as much as usual, though. This year, it was Potica Year...so we generally don't have a huge cookie list when we do those. 

Here's the list...Like I said, a bit shorter than usual, but we are having a smaller holiday this year (some families are traveling) and it just seems like one batch of everything here will be fine. Some - the M & M and Crescents - I have to do. I mean HAVE TO DO or else I may as well not show up... Siblings, you know.

The Potica went nuts. I mean, I do not know what happened to the dough. It's always been finicky. It's a tradition: we get spooked when it's rolling out exceptionally well. We get angry when it's a pain in the butt. There are days the rises are great, and there are days when you're praying over it and reciting positive affirmations: "You can DO IT, dough! You CAN DO IT!" 

Yesterday? I have no freakin idea. I'm usually the configurator - I put the pieces together. Hubby does the grinding and rolling. So whatever went wrong, I think it's on me. We were doubling the recipe, which is where it may have gotten off track. The dough was ok, but I think maybe I did something weird with the warm milk. Maybe. 

The yeast grew phenomenally. The dough was totally "puffy." Which is really not right. There are 4 loaves, plus a pan of ends. And everything kind of exploded. The ends pan burst like a volcano. The loaves are nearly THREE POUNDS EACH and the tops split really badly. That's. Not. Right. At that point, they become unstable and collapse on themselves. They don't look pretty. Lord knows what they're going to slice like. And it's hard to be sure they're cooked through. Last thing you want is to have raw insides. We did our best, and I believe they're all cooked, but I'm not happy with this year's batch. 

We figure we can do the cookies the week before Xmas. First off, lots less temptation to "snick" a few here and there. Don't believe me? Yeah. We're "snick" people and then all of a sudden, (a) you've put on 5 pounds; and (b) there are no cookies left! 

So unless there's something that turns up unexpectedly, that'll be it for Xmas Baking 2021. 

Random Picture...

Ever since I got the One Plus phone, my pictures have gone...somewhere. Not sure where. Not always in a consistent manner. Not always where I thought I put them. It frustrated me and drove Hubby nuts. 

Turns out I then had a bunch of pics automatically duplicate, which ate up my OneDrive storage space, which locked down my OneDrive. And then, (thanks Blogger), Blogger changed their format which made it slightly less user-friendly to actually PUT pictures here. 

(sigh)

But anyway. I did another thing. I wrote another chapter in a collaborative book. Here she is, and she'll be released in December. Interested in this one, and my other 2 books? Drop me a comment here. Email me at the studio (info below). I'll sign and send you a copy, in the US only, and postage is on me... They make great holiday gifts, raffle or gift basket items. Girlfriend gifts. Full of great information by some wonderful authors. There's The Ultimate Guide to Self-Healing, Vol. 2, Wonder Women 50+, and The Ultimate Guide to Self-Healing, Vol. 5. They're also available on Amazon (of course...). 

Want Yoga with an Online Option? Just Breathe Yoga Studio in Crest Hill, IL is your Yoga Home, 

in-person or across the world!

www.just-breatheyoga.com

(815) 546-2770 (call or text)

Zoom classes. Private Sessions. Workshops. 

Small group special classes. Essential oil education. Books. 

When You Contemplate on Wednesday Just How Bad Tuesday Could've Gone...

Monday night, my heart went into A-fib.... I was convinced that it "would pass" and I did my breathing techniques, sat up in my chair, used a particular mudra to relax myself -- I had "stuff to do" (a conference to attend on Wednesday, to be exact) and I didn't "have time" for this. 

However, by 2:30 a.m. we were in the local ER. I wasn't able to get a bed till nearly 6:30 a.m. My heart was beating erratically, and my heart rate was over 150 - in danger of having a stroke. And I still thought, "All I need is a reboot, and I can get to work and prep for the conference..." I was pretty sure that they'd do what they always did, my heart would kick itself back into rhythm, and I'd be home and back to my usual routine. 

I've had Atrial Fibrillation for years, so I know the standard treatments that the doctor recommended, and it looked like things were going to go as I had planned them in my head. (cue your laughter here, as I assume that I can PLAN this whole thing...)

The nurse administered the medication and we were chatting; they always stay in the room and monitor to see how things are going (this was about 7:45 a.m. or so).

All of a sudden, I told her that something felt "off"... Next thing I know, I'm flat on my back, gasping for air, and the room is filled with people. They whipped the mask off my face to allow me to breathe (Covid protocols, etc...) Doctor barking orders to the nurses. Nurses, quietly competent, buzzing back and forth. Oxygen administered, something put into the IV in my arm, numbers being rattled off...I remember grabbing the hand of the nurse next to me - as an anchor, I think. I was alternately burning up and sweating, and then freezing. I never lost consciousness and was aware of what was going on around me.

I hear, "get the paddles ready" but it doesn't really sink in. Someone asked for a verification of my birthdate, which I then rattled off. "She's talking," they said. I said, "Paddles weren't on my list today..." They fixed the quite extreme reaction I had to a medication I've taken before.

Afterward, I was told that my heart rate dropped quickly - and too low. In a span of about 5 minutes, I went from 150 bpm to 21...Twenty-one...

I don't know why, but I didn't realize till later that the "paddles" were in this big red "crash cart."

And today, home and exhausted (I finally came out of A-fib and they let me go home late last night - my heart was wonky for 18 hours...) -- it finally just sunk in just how close I came and just how bad it could've gone.

I know that there are complaints about Western medicine, dependence on Big Pharma, and how screwed up we in the US make it to be taken care of. And 99.9% of those complaints are completely valid. It's not a "political" statement to say that US health care is pretty uneven and often, the Emergency Room is where the uninsured, poor, homeless, and marginalized reach out for medical care because they know they won't be turned away. 

We know, here in the US, that if you have money (and/or really good insurance, but mostly, let's face it -- it's money that talks), you get really good care, and access to treatments that not everyone can have. After all, let's chat about Steve Jobs and the liver transplant he got almost immediately, when the list for transplants is long, and donors are scarce. The late Chadwick Boseman was fortunate enough to have a team of holistic practitioners, acupuncture, massage, medical treatment...the list could go on and on. Let's also talk about our elected officials....and the platinum-level care they have access to. Someone could get elected to the House or Senate, serve one term and get booted out (usually because they weren't obeying the commands of the corporate overlords who've purchased their souls...) -- and they have premium healthcare for life. You realize that #MoscowMitch and his ilk have amazing care that you and I are not privy to, right? 

But yesterday, when it could've gone horribly bad, the medical team around me worked with quiet, swift skill in a pretty dire emergency, and got me through it. The doctor said that in his years of practice, he's never seen such an intense and severe reaction to this medication and that it was the "standard" to treat A-Fib. I've got a bottle of this same medication in pill form in my cabinet!

Afterwards, the nurse whose hand I grasped said, "I have NEVER seen that kind of reaction to this medication -- I'm so glad you hung in there with us." I told her that I was so glad THEY hung in there with me.

Today, taking a day to rest, recover and contemplate, I find my mind replaying that morning and I find myself still in awe, but also there's a feeling I can't quite articulate about how close I came to an entirely different outcome.

Another "Breakthrough..."

...of the cardiac kind. (sigh) I did fine at work Monday, and even taught my Monday night Basic Yoga class - not that the sequence was all that basic; my poor students got a good workout! I teach at Just Breathe Yoga near my home. It's a great studio, and I enjoy teaching. 

I truly felt grateful for the "breakthrough" to have happened AFTER class, though - when I was safe at home. 

This one was a little more mild than the last one. Still racing pulse, relatively high BP and breathlessness, but apparently not to the criteria of taking the Cardizem pill. So another "mostly on the couch" night. I came back to the bedroom about 1 a.m., promptly tripped over Tippi, who grunted and then snorted her disgust, and managed to get in about 5 hours of sleep. (Jeeze, Tippi --- grey dogs ought to sleep near a night-light!!)

Nothing else so far; apparently, I slept like a rock last night (exhaustion will do that to you) and I'm feeling ok. Still a little freaked out about this and apprehensive, should it become more frequent. But you get nowhere by worrying. 

Meditation Timer...

I have been setting my timer at work. About every 30 minutes, I get up and either stretch, or go do something. The first segment, I spent putting tissue boxes in the classrooms. Some campuses put coffee out for the students (we have adults who come to class after a full day's work). Me? I put out tissues because it seems that everyone has allergies or a cold or something snotty. 

The timer is about to go off in a little over a minute; I spent the last 1/2 hour looking at the blogs *I* follow (where've you been, Franklin???) and figured I'd better get this one cracking on. 

We shall see how this all works out. I do appreciate the nudge to move my rear end off the chair, that's for sure!

Weather...

Another cold spell. Joy. (See - the timer went off, so I took 10 minutes to do my lunch dishes...at least I'm sticking to it so far.)

Anyway, it's all the way up to 12* outside, but "feels like" -5* -- this is F not C. And we have a couple of weather warnings: the river flood warning, that really doesn't apply to me because we're not that close to that particular river, and the Wind Chill Advisory that's supposed to be through noon-ish tomorrow. It's supposed to START at midnight, tonight, but going out to the car this a.m.? You could've fooled me!! The temps are set to feel like somewhere between -20 and -30*F. My assistant was right: the warm up was a malicious tease. 

Sock Heel

I am, however, still in my Danskos. They feel good after enclosing my feet in ankle-high hiking boots. The search for a "casual but warm" boot continues and since now all I'm seeing is sandals, I think it'll resume in the fall.

All I know is that my skin is lizard-like. I can't find a moisturizer that's not too greasy. I just used some of the Neutrogena Norwegian Formula on my hands and I felt like they actually sucked the lotion in. "Only a dab" -- well, I think I need a few dabs more. At least now the skin on my hands doesn't feel like it's going to crack off.

Knitting...

Working on the Teal Sock, but I did pick up the Pink Sock to see where I was. To my dismay, I have lost the directions!! It's a simple sock, so it's not a total loss. And I have Sock #1 to measure against, but I'm bummed. I should stick to ONE knitting notebook, but that - by my definition, at least - means just having ONE project in the works. 

And that ain't happening. 

Anyway, the fatigue from lack of sleep due to the a-fib stuff made it such that I just wanted to do the simpler sock. Even the k3, p1 ribbing in Teal was something I deemed much too much for my foggy brain. Of course, I found that Sock #2 had just about 1/4" of ribbing done: k1,p1 -- so I did fiddle with that a little bit. But otherwise, the leg (as you can see by Sock #1) is just round and round knit. Mindless, which is good some days. 

Project bag

Here's one of my favorite project bags, from Kelly at Le Mouton Rouge Knittery -- she makes them herself, and sells them for a phenomenally reasonable price. I want the one that says, "I Learned to Knit in Prison." 

And some refreshers of the Pink Sock. I just have to remember which heel that is. Any input - helpful!! Or I could just find the %^$# directions!!! 

This is the pair on the 1.75 wooden needles. I will admit to one gripe on the wooden needles: the marking wears off. It's almost invisible now. At least on my steel needles, it's etched in. I will have to figure out how to mark these; unless, of course, I can find the packet they came in.

That's probably with the directions...

Pink Sock #2

Anyway, I'm due a trip out to see Kelly, because of course, while I don't need any yarn, I would like to snag a project bag or two. And ok -- y'all know that I'll walk out with at least a ball of sock yarn.

Sock yarn has no calories. It doesn't even count as "stash" since I usually buy Opel or the like - where one ball = 1 pair. See?  Economy.

If I'm buying sock yarn for a shawl, then I'll buy more and THAT is stash. 

It is NOT a nit-picky difference, thanks. 

Oh, and I did accomplish (sort of) one thing. I went through all of my knitting bags. The reason I did that is because I've lost some keys. I went through all my purses, and so did Hubby. So he wasn't about to touch my yarn bags... I did that. Still no keys. I'm not a happy camper. 

Anyway, the yarn bags have all been gone through. The jackets as well. Kid #2 doesn't have it (he had to use it when I was carted off to the hospital once). Maybe it's either with a person who temps for me or in a sweater or blazer pocket. Rats.

But now I have a decent handle on what's in which bag. And I have a whole lot of organizing to do (still). It's a never-ending issue. 

Politics (or The Gay)...

I don't ever want to go back to Arizona. I was there, briefly, in the way-back times. Didn't even see the Grand Canyon, which I wish I would have. But it's all in the past, and I'm not pining. 

But with this latest debacle? Good Lord - I'd be shot. Apparently, some brainless cretin(s) in that state chose to bring a bill wherein any business can refuse service to someone all in the name of the business' "religious beliefs." So. They can deny service (specifically) to the gays. 

Did y'all know that The Gays are a Threat to My Marriage? Well. According to many "Christian Conservatives" -- apparently, I'm threatened by The Gays. They are out to destroy my marriage. And my family. 

So, I as a business owner in AZ (which will happen when the 10th Circle of Dante's Inferno melts) can say, "I refuse to serve you, The Gay. Because you're an affront to my religious beliefs."

Which wouldn't happen for 3 reasons: (1) I'm Episcopalian. My church is Ok with The Gays. and (2) even when I was Catholic, I wasn't stupid. The Gay isn't catchy; and finally (3) I'm not an idiot either - if I'm in business, I want to MAKE MONEY. If you want to spend your money in my business, I would be a total moron to deny you that privilege -- and deny ME the profit. 

This bill is the very definition of "slippery slope." 

The story - which you can find just about anywhere, is encapsulated here in a post by Dean Obeidallah, a columnist for The Daily Beast. 

So where does this leave us? Well, it leaves us wondering when they'll discriminate because my kid is "brown" in the summer, whereas I'm a pale Polish ghost. Taking it to the extreme, perhaps someone might think my kid is hassling me - which they both do, but Kid #1 looks the least like me, so he'd more likely be the target here - and want to lash out at the Kid because he's giving some white-haired white lady a rough time. Notwithstanding that he's MY kid and I know EXACTLY which buttons he'd push! In gun-crazed AZ, my kid could get shot by someone who thinks he's a threat. And Kid #1 is the most mild-mannered kid you'd ever see. He's just a little physically intimidating if he feels *I* am being threatened. In a very quiet, "You don't want to go there" kind of way. 

Anyway, that aside, I'm just wondering, because these are the same kinds of people who scream that "Sharia Law is not OUR law." No, it's not.

But neither is the Bible our law. We are not now, and have NEVER been, a nation founded upon Christian principles. No matter how much you say we ARE, you only have to look at The Founding Fathers - Thomas Jefferson said it. 

Way back in 1802, while he was President, Jefferson first articulated the "separation of church and state" and said that religion was "...a matter which lies solely between Man and his God..." -- that's about as clear as you can be. 

What's to stop those business folks in AZ from refusing to serve Muslims, because being Muslim offends "their religious belief"? What's to stop them from refusing to serve mixed-race couples because THAT offends their "religious belief"? 

And how do you reconcile Jesus' teachings of brotherhood with the particular viewpoint of Christianity as a "whites-only" religion? Which is just about what they're saying. Oh, sorry: STRAIGHT WHITES ONLY. 

Back in the days of the Gold Rush in California, our country, much to our own humiliation, passed Chinese Exclusion Laws - see the link here for specifics, but I'll summarize: "No Chinese Allowed." 

Seriously: they couldn't marry Americans; couldn't own property; were strictly curtailed as to who came over - we preferred teachers and merchants. 

This AZ law is the equivalent to that Exclusion Law. Only it's more broadly painted and it's entirely stupid. Why, in this economy, would you refuse to serve someone? Take the money, honey. If you feel that it's burning your hand, donate it to your church. They probably won't ask where it came from. 

The only good that can come of this is if Gov. Brewer does something sensible: vetoes it. And she could - because there are already some laws on the books about being able to restrict service. And they're kind of knot-headed too. 

Random Picture...

Silver teapot

Of a teapot. This was on the England table at our recent fundraiser and I thought it was beautiful. The decorations on the table consisted mainly of tea pots, tea cups and tea bags. A little "derivative" if you will, but it was lovely anyway. 

I'm sure someone in England is agog at the tea bags -- do they use loose tea? I've purchased PG Tips tea in bags (and let me tell you - it makes Lipton taste like sock-water). Hmmmmmm. Maybe I've watched a little too much Sherlock or Downton Abbey, though I do love my own loose tea. 

I'm a big tea drinker anyway. While I have the Keurig in my office and I do buy flavored coffee, I can't drink it. I haven't been able to since I've had GERD - the acid apparently kicks up in my stomach. 

But anyway, I prefer tea. I drink 2 cups of "caff" in the morning, and then I'm switching over to decaf or herbal. It's hydration and I can drink it "black" with nothing in it. 

And it's especially good in a cold snap when you're in an office where your one wall is a window and there's a good stiff East wind... Brrrrrrr!

As always, comments appreciated.