Saturday, June 07, 2014

Apparently Farther Than I Thought...

Hmmmmmmm.... I just grabbed Teal Sock #2. It appears that I'm ready for the heel flap. Of course, this is the sock where I'm not exactly sure what I did on Heel #1, so we'll have to see how this all turns out. They may very well be boot socks or I'll start a fashion trend of mismatched heels.


Little Prince KAL socks
The KAL socks are DONE! Boom!! Done, done and DONE!! Of course the question is, do you like your stripes matchy-matchy or do you let the yarn do what it does? So far, with these Opal socks, I haven't bothered to match them. While I have a ton of yarn leftover, I certainly COULD have matched them, but honestly - I think they're kinda cool the way they are!!

These will show up in church one of these days. I've got my Robin's Nest MadTosh socks on today with the Birks. 

Don't laugh. You produce something with around 34,000 stitches of knitting and some awesome engineering to make it look like something wearable, and you're darned tootin' gonna show 'em off too!! 

Besides, it's cold in here. 

So I can check off another thing on the list. Yay, me!!!

Once I get the Teal Sock done, I can concentrate on the other things: finishing the baby sweater, my February Lady Sweater, the cross-stitch. It'll all get done, and I feel like there's a process now. 

Now the question is what to do with a LOT of leftover yarn. I'm serious - this is even with a PAIR that have 7" legs. I guess it's good - if I was to knit a pair for either Hubby or one of the Kids, the legs would be much longer, and so would the feet. 

Recall, if you will, that I have a lot of the pink leftover as well. That's a variegated, rather than a self-patterning yarn. And those legs were about 5" tall. I think 7", while it's a long, boring knit, is a good length for me. It also bridges the "scary legs" thing with slacks. I have yet to deal with knee-high length, but I do have lots of Opal in The Stash. That might not be a bad idea. 

I'm thinking. And I welcome suggestions. 

Knitting Dilemma...

So. Good news!! Kid #2 got a job!!! Now, what do I do with the partially finished knitted tie in his OLD school's colors?? The new school's colors are gold and black. The old school's colors were green and gold. And the tie was green. Well, it IS green, because it's not done yet. 

I guess it's sort of a moot point till I find the directions. They got separated from the project bag, and I don't remember how to do the linen stitch. I could look that up, but this pattern tapered and I can't find the regular directions. 

He won't mind. But I hate to have a quickie project like that just sitting there. 

Bad news...

So Thursday, my rhythm was "off." All day. Not as bad as it had been. I mean, I was thinking to myself, "Self, your heart is racing. You feel off. You've taken EKGs and the heart rate is pretty high. But you're not dizzy. You're still talking and walking around. You took your meds. You haven't passed out. So just hang in there."

I got done with work, e-mailed the strips to the cardiologist (thank you AliveCor device!!!) and then my sister called that night with the bad news. 

Well, maybe it's bad, maybe it's just as well. I have to have the heart procedure. They want to do it in July, which is ok, but if I can get in earlier, I'd like to explore that option. What with the trip to FL at the end of the month, though, they may not want to do it in June. Maybe EARLY in July would be nice??

I'm scared. But I know it'll be better to get it over with. Overnight stay in the hospital (yeah, will probably bring knitting even if I'll be zonked) and then 3 to 4 days rest at home. What troubles me is the "several weeks of light activity." BLEAGH!! I just got back into "activity" for cryin' out loud!!! 

Ok. I know. Listen to the doctors and suck it up. I will. I promise. But that's why I'd like to do this earlier in July. Otherwise, it messes with an already established schedule I've got that's pretty much set in stone. 

I would ask if it could get even more confusing, but I don't want to give Karma a chance...

The Office...

I've begun the inventory of assets -not the electronic stuff. That's not my department. But a log of what's going to be finding another home. I've asked my colleagues who wants to adopt the plants (with the intent that they'd leave here before it got cold - not right now, because I don't want the place looking naked). I tallied all MY stuff (I had brought in some furnishings and pictures that are mine) and today at work, I emptied out some of the drawers. As the class leaves, I'll pull the truck up and load it all in there. 

I'm sad. It's depressing. But it's better to do it bit-by-bit instead of all at once. Especially since I have already applied for another position, and I know it's going to be like a "garage sale" here shortly. I want to make sure MY OWN stuff doesn't get lost in the shuffle. 

The official announcement goes out Monday, now. Not looking forward to phone calls and e-mails. Because what I would like to say is not conducive for future job prospects. But even if I did say whatever I wanted, I do believe people are going to put their own spin on stuff anyhow. 


I have many philosophies. Some are good. Some are only situational and subject to change. But I saw this on "The FaceSpace" as we call it at home, and lately, this is starting to resonate with me. 

It's tough to think about "starting over" with a job at my age. It's too early for me to retire, even if we could afford it. 

We're by no means broke, and we actually have our house paid for. But in spite of the days where I feel like I really, really, REALLY want to retire, I know it would not only not be a good idea financially, but emotionally as well. And with our nest nearly empty, we want to do thing that we aren't able to do now. Well, with 3 dogs, it's likely it won't be whisking ourselves away to a cozy B & B for the weekend, but it's kind of nice to not have to consider what to do with or for the kids. Yes, Kid #2 is old enough to make his own dinner, but while he's still here, I don't feel right treating him as if he doesn't exist. 

Anyway. What I've been thinking about is the whole concept of "enough." Am I "thin enough" (no, and I don't mean that out of vanity); am I "smart enough" (well, probably); am I "happy enough" (no, not lately and not for a while). Setting aside the facile arguments of how women need to be "enough" of everything, and in the trying often lose the basic element of who they truly are (Sorry Oprah, it's not working. The chai thing was the topper.), I have to take an honest look at myself at this pivotal point. 

So the job situation might be a good one. Taking stock of yourself and your direction are beneficial habits. I think you can over-think that and thus become moribund, but a periodic check-in with the inside of your head and your heart might not be a bad thing. 

Anyway, this is what I told Boss Lady when I informed her that I'd applied for another position and she said, "But do you want to do that?" Well, I said, NO. I want to do what I'm doing, but that option is clearly off the table right now, and I doubt it'll be coming back. Can I do it? Without a doubt. If I'm lucky enough to be interviewed and offered the job, I'll be happy. Women my age with my qualifications don't get a lot of opportunities, and I'm not in the mood to start over again. 

So it's Inventory Time in more ways than just counting how many clocks we have, how many desks, chairs, paper plates, markers and the rest. It's time for me to take an inventory of what I want and how to best accomplish it. And include the "deserve" part. So maybe when people compliment me, I can figure that they're "not just saying that" - that they see value in what I have done over the past 8 years. When people ask what I am going to do, sure - there will be a certain amount of prurient interest, but by and large, I deserve to think it's because they care. 

It's going to be an exercise, that's for sure.

Random Picture...

Yes. These are cookies. No. They are neither home-made nor on my immediate eating plan. 

Brownie Cookies
It's been a stressful week. I've worked the equivalent of 2 weeks in a 6-day span. I'm tired. I'm a bit more tightly wound than I usually am.

And I'm eating the stinkin' cookies. With any luck, the weather will hold out and my heart won't go crazy - maybe I can get a bike ride in either today or tomorrow. Or yoga. 

I do have to start reaching for yoga instead of cookies. Or more knitting. Either one would be more helpful, and at least with yoga, I can get up off my chair.

I haven't figured out how to knit and be mobile without the very strong potential of terrible bodily harm from knitting needles or the tripping hazard of yarn flying everywhere.

No comments: