Wednesday, September 11, 2013

First Memory: 9/11

I confess, I wasn't going to write this. But there are some compulsions you just go with. Here is my most vivid memory of 9/11.

Standing in horror watching the TV at the convent where I was working and hearing the president of the Congregation on the loudspeaker calling us all to the chapel.

Fighting an almost atavistic impulse to just go home and try to "feel safe" again. 

Standing in the chapel with almost 100 nuns plus about 30 lay employees, tears universally streaming down our faces, male and female. 

Looking at the faces of the elderly nuns who were surely as stunned as all of us. God knew that many of them were old enough to remember other horrors that humanity has perpetrated on itself for generations - watching them pray with an intensity that I don't know I've ever felt before or since.

Feeling as if something -- I wasn't sure what -- had just been yanked out of my soul. 

Knowing that nothing - NOTHING - would ever be the same again, and feeling a fear deep within myself at what this would mean for my kids - and everyone's kids. 

The cloud graphic? I don't know why; I just know it makes me feel peaceful. And God knows we all need peace now. Now. And always. 

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