It Got Me Thinking...

...a phone call I had today with a researcher. Not one of those, "We'd like to ask you a few questions about dish detergent" researcher. But someone from a writer's group who asked for some volunteers for a project she's working on. 

She's a "confidence coach," and was working with women, mostly entrepreneurs, to enable them to grow personally as well as professionally. 

She said to me, "You sound quite confident and balanced."

Well. Let's just say I fake it well. Because it got me to thinking. AM I as confident as I project? Some days, I don't feel it. Some days, I've got the world by the tail. MOST days? I don't feel it. I feel like I'm faking my way through it. 

I'm confident in most decisions I make, in regard to the studio, at least. And I'm confident - for the most part - in the personal decisions I make. But I think -- particularly since I'm staring 60 in the face -- that I am re-evaluating a lot of things. I'm re-evaluating what I'm choosing. What I've chosen. And where I want to go and who I want to be. 

None of this is strange. I think there are landmark birthdays where you really get set back on your heels and you have to come to full stop and think a moment or two. For me, 30 was a piffle. However, 35 hit me hard. Forty was another piffle. I saw 50 as "finally grown up." But 60? I'm not sure how I feel about that number. 

I'm not buying the "60 is the new 40" crap. Because that's a tale we tell ourselves. It's a lot like the "prosperity gospel" stuff that the televangelists preach. The only "prosperity" is theirs because you're foolish enough to send them your hard-earned money. 

Yes, I believe that you should seek out positivity. But reality is a nice place to live. Not "reality" as in "reality TV" or... the current state of the White House and the Occupant... But "reality" as in, "Let's be realistic and look at both the profits and the pitfalls of what we're thinking about here. How do we best accomplish the task or the plan that we're looking at?" 

I have a sock yarn called "Unicorn Farts." It's a fun name. It's not the nature of the world. We're not here to believe strictly in daisies, buttercups, unicorn farts, and fairies. 

Yes, it's a big, beautiful, wonderful and wonder-filled world. It's also a world where animals are abused; kids are abused; women are abused; the planet is having a major meteorological hissy fit; two crazy man-boys are pushing us to the brink of World War III. "Thoughts and prayers" only go so far. 

Reality means we get down to brass tacks and become activists and advocates for the change we want to see. However that shapes up for us, getting on the phone, writing letters, standing for something and DOING something? Much better than daisies, buttercups, unicorn farts, and fairies. 

Autumn...

Well. That was a bust. It was 95 degrees today. In Illinois. It's the first day of Fall. Mother Nature isn't done with us yet. 

I met with my friend K who came back on one of the last flights from Puerto Rico. She's kind of a basket case, not knowing what will be left after this latest hurricane. I've asked her to teach some classes at the studio -- to bring some "normal" into an entirely abnormal scenario. She commented that this weather was "certainly weird." You could say that. It's almost October. 

We've had warm-ish Octobers before. But this is August. This is "chew on the air" weather -- Illinois folks are used to an August where you can sort of slice the air and gnaw on it because it's so sticky, hot, and heavy. Not at the end of September, though. Especially since, this past August, we didn't even break 90 degrees. At all. 

According to reports, we're having a "wet and mild" winter. We need "nasty cold freezing" to (a) kill all the germs we're not used to dealing with year-round; and (b) snow enough to raise water tables. 

We shall see. Mother Nature, on behalf of the sorry, stupid human race, I apologize and beg your forgiveness. Will you stop now? Thank you. 

Sunrise...

Today on the way to work, I was, thankfully, running early for once. I had to pick up a gift card for a raffle at the office, so I was able to scoot out of the house quickly. As I drove north on Rt. 53, I noticed a heavy ground fog. So I figured I'd nip into my new "favorite place"... the old swing bridge trail. 

And I wasn't disappointed. 

Well, I was a tad disappointed. This shot is at the base of the hill, and I had to skootch up a bit to get the sun in the shot. It's only on my phone. I need to grab the big camera and try again. Don't you love the light? It was beautiful. 

Knitting...

I'm still beavering away on the shawl; it does go quickly, and my animal Reiki-practitioner friend says she has the same yarn...which is really weird since this is a rather unique yarn company and what are the odds that a yarn that was a gift to me would be in someone else's hands? Either way, if she does have it, she's got another idea of what she can knit with it... 

I'm on the 6th point, if you count the first one. There are 18 points in this pattern. Still a little freaked out about the double yarn-overs, but so far, it's been a positive experience. The way the colors are laying out is quite interesting to me. When I had the hank just laid out, I wasn't quite sure how the grey would work into all of it. It almost looked like it was going to pool like crazy, but it really isn't. It's obvious there's a "plan" to the colors, but it's not - at least to my eyes - either a traditional self-patterning or variegated. That's what's going to make this unique. 

I've already eyeballed some amethyst sock yarn that may be the next iteration of this pattern. 

For me, knitting is "process" as well as "product." I mean, there are knitters who purely love the PROCESS of knitting. The act of knitting. If they never finish something, they're just happy knitting. Other knitters are "product" knitters. They want to just get the project done so they have a "thing" knitted. 

I'm a blend of the two. I like the process. It's meditative, even when I want to throw it against a wall. I like finishing, but I don't mind having 3 or 4 (or 5 or 6) projects on the needles. I'll get it done. Except for The Dreaded Teal Sock (yeah, I know...it'll get done), I really just go from project to project. I'm not wedded to any one project. I did put the Dr. Who project bag in the car and as I was waiting for a yoga class to get out (so I could get in to teach), I put a few rows on the Sole to Sole sock. It'll get done. 

I think that's my new mantra. "It'll get done." 

I need to knit or read to recharge my batteries. I'm rather introverted, though I fake the extrovert part. And when I come home, I want to just. Sit. I need quiet, and I need to recharge somehow. These solitary pursuits help me gather myself for the next "exposure to people." Does that sound horrible? I can't help it if it does. It's true. 

Random Picture...

So when I recently cleaned off the Arlo table (used to be where our canary Arlo resided), I put up the beautiful pottery bowl from my mom's friends and I put up my Buddha. This little guy used to rest on my desk in a prior office.  For what it's worth, it didn't keep anyone calmer there... But that's another chapter in the novel. 

Close to him are the Lake Michigan rocks, notice the heart-shaped marking on the one on the left. From the left, the next rock down is raw citrine, then a rounded, faceted garnet (middle). Up toward the right is raw jade, and then the other Lake Michigan rock. Over to the left, you can see a peek of my chalcedony bracelet. 

I was looking for a "tray" of some sort, and after rummaging in the closet, I came out with this Mikasa "cookie tray" that I got at a close-out sale with the thought that I'd give it as a gift. It's small -- too small for my cookie trays. But it's perfect, because even when I eventually gather more crystals/stones, they'll sit nicely on this little tray. I'm learning about crystals, but for me, it's not necessarily what their "powers" are. It's just that I like them. I find beauty in them, whether raw or polished or faceted. They're a "gazing point" for me. You take your "piece of quiet" where you can find it. 

Can You Want It Too Much???

Seriously. I'm doubting my ability to finish the *^&$ February Lady Sweater at this point...I frogged back a row. 

Could it be that I shouldn't try lace when I'm watching Meryl Streep movies? Hmmmmm.... I could use that excuse. I didn't even feel the boo-boo this time. But there I was, at the end of the second Row 1 with ONE extra stitch. Crap. 

I heaved a sigh, began frogging it back and then just finished watching the movie. No sense going nuts. 

So today, I don't have to go in to work till the afternoon shift. I'm watching "Top Chef," which (shock, I know) I've never seen. I think I can tink during this one... I'm almost at the button band, and I may have found the screw up. I mean, this is actually the second repeat - the first 4-row repeat went smoothly, so I know it's correct. It's a matter of being present while you're knitting. 

That's where knitting often imitates meditation. I'm anxious to wear this sweater, and it will only be the second one I've made in an adult size. I think that I'm too much of a hurry to get it done. I need to back off. It'll get done. It'll be gorgeous. 

Breathing. Need to remind myself to breathe. 

Frosting Tips...

So I think I told you that Hubby bought me a set of what I've seen called "Russian Frosting Tips." I know - anything "Russian" can be taboo! But it's cake, people! 

My friend D has asked me to make her granddaughter's wedding cake. I'll have to do some serious cupcake baking to get the hang of these. 

I have the full Wilton set. Actually, thanks to my mom, I probably have at least two sets. I had my own, and "inherited" hers when she decided she didn't want to do cakes anymore. Mom's got the Kathryn Hepburn "benign tremor" thing going on, and while she can control it with medication, it has impacted a lot of her fine motor movement. She has a harder time doing things like cutting in when she's painting, and writing in frosting can be a challenge at the best of times - when you're even a tad shaky (even from a bit too much coffee), you'll see it in the frosting. 

I'm a bit concerned that these are small - like I could do garlands of these around the cake? I'm thinking... I'm thinking... It'll be interesting. My philosophy is this: you give me your colors, a basic idea of what you want, how many we're serving, and then - you get out of my way. I don't do try-out cakes, and you get no input into the design. 

Sounds tough, right? But that's what my parents did. They didn't do "bridezillas" and I won't either. We shall see how this goes... I'll have pictures when I fiddle with the tips. I have to visit the internet to see how to use these things. All I have is that picture!

Golden Rule Theme...

So a friend of mine posted this on her timeline and I really liked it. She's an atheist, does a lot of community work, and is involved in local and national politics. I put the "atheist" label in there, because specifically, it seems as if the whole concept of a "Golden Rule" has been co-opted by religion. Particularly in the ultra-conservative swaths of Bible thumpers - the "Golden Rule" belongs to them (in their eyes). A person like my friend (or even my kids, who're more "secular humanist" than any identifiable religion) would be looked down upon by some of those who espouse some sort of "pure" faith -- which in my mind only exists if humans aren't involved. 

Perhaps "pure faith" is only available to the angels. Because once humans get involved, religion can turn ugly. Don't believe me? Look at history. 

From the conquest Canaan to the tribal wars of Afghanistan, men have fought over and over again because "their god" is the "only god." 

So. Read this. What do you see? I see a theme. I see a request that we look at each other as "same" and NOT "other." 

As our(?) government goes about the business of dismantling health care for millions of people, they'll stand there in press conferences with their flag pins and put their hands on their shriveled little hearts and exclaim that this is a Godly country. 

With the travesty occurring in Washington DC right now? There's no "Godly" going on. This is all on men. 

They'd better man-up and own the consequences.  

Random Picture...

This is an oldie but a goodie. This is from my trip to the Zonta International Convention in Orlando. I went with my friend A, and we had a blast. After sitting in the conference hall for meetings, we were able to walk the grounds of the resort. Unfortunately, the extra-curricular events were pretty pricey, so we didn't do any of them. But the grounds were gorgeous once we ventured past the swimming pool complex. The gardens were stunning. I got to play with a lot of effects in PhotoShop for the different types of pictures. 

This palm didn't need any "fixing." The shape was striking. The light cooperated. I was able to catch this and I loved the symmetry of what Mother Nature provided. All I did with it was go in closer and crop it. 

This reminds me that A is a great person to travel with. One of these days, we need a photo-safari trip. I'll have to propose that to her. It could be fun!

I Ate Lunch Alone Yesterday...

...which wasn't the point.

I had arranged lunch with two friends from Grad School. It's often difficult to get everyone together, and for a long span - years, really - we just barely exchanged Facebook or e-mail communications. 

Life being brief, we thought that it was important to rekindle the face-to-face get-togethers. 

So I scheduled one. 

But I ate lunch alone. 

I arrived early, as is my wont, and was seated at a lovely table, with my back to the sun. It was cold yesterday, and I felt it more than usual for some reason. 

Now, normally, when I go somewhere alone, I always have something with me. I either carry a book, my Kindle, knitting - something. I have no games on my phone - I dislike computer games anyway. 

But since I was meeting friends, I brought nothing but the delayed Christmas gift for one of them. (Which gift has now been set aside for next year - because it's silly to give a Christmas gift in June...) So I sat in the sun and waited for them. About 10 minutes after our appointed time, I texted both of them asking if they'd forgotten. 

I got a "holy crap" message from one, saying she totally spaced on it since she's been in the midst of a massive kitchen/dining room renovation. I didn't hear from the other one for a while, though she did text later to tell me she also had forgotten and was out of town.

I signaled the waitress, who looked vaguely pitying, and said, "Well, looks like I've been stood up. But I'm hungry, so I'll order lunch now." 

I haven't been to lunch with myself in a long, long time. The restaurant is a quaint one which is very popular with the locals. There was a foursome in the corner discussing their recent viewing of "Fifty Shades of Grey," a couple having a quiet lunch, and a large party along the back of the facility, complete with kids. After a while, a foursome of ladies was seated next to me. The eldest of the group had a Manhattan - in a blue stemmed glass (don't ask me why; I thought Manhattans were served in a stubby glass) and one of the younger ones mentioned that it looked like "witches' potion" in there - which it did!

I did text Hubby telling him that since I'd held the table for so long, I was eating there, and that, yes, I wasn't happy.

And I wasn't. I felt embarrassed. Flashbacks to high school momentarily entered my 57-year-old brain. I felt like the uncool kid. 

Then I thought: "You're an idiot."  I'm a yogi. I've been studying meditation for years now. I'm supposed to embody the idea of "I can amuse myself." And here I was, feeling sorry for me. 

Well. I sat up straight, glanced about the place and proceeded to discretely people-watch. And I ate lunch. Which wasn't too bad, though the corn salsa on the crab cakes was way, way too hot for me. So much for the "mild remoulade and salsa" description on the menu. And it was a Sunday afternoon, so the prices were mildy heart-attack inducing. I should stick to the weekday lunch menu there for the sake of my pocketbook.

I did eat the stick of pretzel bread. But I skipped dessert, feeling more than a little virtuous. And stuffed - I'd been eating extremely light lately, and frankly, by the salad, I was close to full. I brought home most of it, which I ate for dinner. 

Anyway, what have we learned, kids? 

Well, I could say "always carry something along with you." 

But I don't think that's the point. The actual point is that it's ok to be alone with yourself. It's ok to lift your head from your screen or your book and not be tied to outside amusements. It's ok at some point to really sit with yourself and not give a lamb's hind leg about whether people even NOTICE that you're sitting by yourself. Or even to care whether they do notice and feel sorry for you. Burying your nose in a book isn't awful. Though you can't eat and knit... But sitting and noticing what's around you is not all that bad.

Really. We talk about being mindful a lot in my world. We talk about noticing what our bodies are doing. We talk about watching our very breath. 

And then I have a small melt-down about being stood up for lunch. Jeeze. Shame on me. 

Or rather, let's skip the shame, much like I skipped dessert. Shame isn't good for you. Rather, let's have a talk with our inner self saying that it's ok - more than ok, actually - to just be by yourself for lunch. 

Occasionally, it's absolutely fine to have lunch with your best friend: yourself. 

Best of Random Pics...

I'm not lazy. I'm just tired of the stale news cycles... So today we're doing a "best of" -- I've dug through the phone and I've found some random pics that I don't think I've posted before. But if I have, please excuse and just enjoy!!

Comments always welcome - and share my blog with your friends. (Doesn't that sound awfully needy??? Well, we writers are like that...)

Altar in my office

This is the altar in my office. I use it as a focal point for meditation, and it's a little "sacred space" for some of my treasures, including my great-granny's medals, Tippi's TDI badges, candles, a rock from a trip -- all kinds of stuff that just means something to me. 

I saw an article in Yoga Journal about the altars people kept and some were quite spare. Some were beautiful. But all of them reflected the individual who created them. Some were just a bulletin board. 

All you need is a little space where you can put something meaningful up in front of you. It doesn't have to be "religious" in nature. It can be a picture, a seashell, a candle... anything that causes you to pause and think. 

That's the purpose. Not adulation. Not worship. But a space in your life (at home or at the office -- or both) where you are reminded to "stop and smell the roses." Or look at the picture. Or light the candle. 

Basically, a spot that reminds you to breathe. We all need that. 

Hi temps...

I don't know when I took this, but it was last summer. Just because it's 7* here (feels like "spring may never come" -- a/k/a -11*F), we often forget that yes, spring will come. And then summer. And we'll be griping or boasting about how hot it is. 

When you're freezing in this, the (hopefully) last of the Polar Vortex times, remember this picture and realize that, come August, you'll be whining. 

Well, I'll be whining. Either way.

We took these clematis down this past year. They had actually rather withered and even though I know they can last for years and years, ours succumbed to either the crummy soil, the hot weather or the dogs who kept peeing on them. 

Or a combination thereof. 

Clematis

So last year, we took down the trellises and put in 2 lilac bushes. We will most likely trim the lilacs and keep them from getting "wild" but I will miss these clematis. I love lilacs, but I will miss the beauty of these flowers.  

If you get a chance, please plant these. They're gorgeous, hardy and beautiful in a mixed planting. Meaning, you can plant ANY combination of these flowers. If you want to be matchy-matchy, go for it. If you want to mix red, white, purple, variegated.

Well, do that, too. You can have big ones, small ones, a mix of the two.

You can plant one side in blues, one side in purples. Or any of the above combinations. 

Clematis have different blooming times, too. Ours always bloomed early and then by August, we were done. Mr. K., next door? His is GIGANTIC, but it's got smaller flowers. And it blooms a month or so after ours and lasts through fall. 

I bet he's got hummingbirds nesting in his; it's a very thick bush, growing up the side of his house. 

Raisa snout

So this is the first picture I captured of Raisa. First off, my Nokia is a second-generation. I'm truly looking forward to the upgrade this year!! Second, she's really quick! Luckily, my phone didn't come in for a slurpy Husky kiss. 

She's blending into the family well. And today, I got a text from Hubby, claiming "MY DOG" crapped all over the kitchen. 

"She's grounded for LIFE" he says. And then he takes them all out for a lovely long walk. He's putty in their hands -- errrrr, PAWS. 

This is her 3rd accident in the house, but she's barely 6 months old, and I think the excitement of having 2 other dogs in the house often distracts her.

Huskies always, ALWAYS have the canine equivalent of ADD - and puppies have it the worst. 

She'll calm down. Around age 6 or so... Maybe. 

This little lovely is a "chatelaine" -- Now, normally, the definition of a chatelaine is "the mistress of a household or large establishment."

Sheep chatelaine

The secondary definition is "a clasp or hook for a watch, purse or bunch of keys." In knitting terms, a chatelaine can be called a "scissors-keeper." This little weighted sheep has a "tail" and that has a velcro loop where you can secure your scissors. 

My scissors are usually kept in a project bag. And the ones in that bag (a/k/a an inexpensive zippered make-up bag) are the really sharp ones; I put a wine bottle cork on the tips to keep from jabbing myself when I'm rooting around in there. These are "airline approved" and blunt-tipped. This is a good place to stash them, so that the next time I fly somewhere, if I take something other than the "Before and After Scarf" (hey, 96" of knitting takes up most flights I'll be on!), I can grab these and be assured that the officials won't confiscate my good pointed embroidery snips. 

She's cute. Quirky. And a sheep. What more could a knitter ask for? 

If you're ever looking for a "little something" for the knitter in your life (or as a small treat for yourself), check these out. This is from Lantern Moon, and I got mine for under $20. You can get them at your LYS (buy locally when you can!!!) or -- of course -- on Amazon or at your favorite online yarn store such as Jimmy Beans or the like. 

Yes, since you asked: all the dogs DID think she was a new toy. She's on my knitting table where they can't get to her. 

Ahhhhhhhhh - spring-to-summer on the prairie trail!! This was last summer, at the beginning before it turned beastly. We were on the new prairie trail and I stopped a couple of times to snap some pictures.

Wild thistle

As you can imagine, a "prairie" trail is very short on (a) shade and (b) trees. But it's not short on wildflowers and grasses. This thistle was just beautiful and in a clump of them. 

Our local park district has been diligent about ripping out the invasive stuff and putting BACK the native stuff. This prairie area has been planted with milkweed (hello Monarch Butterflies!!) and thistle and all the prairie grasses native to our area.

The wild garlic and other invasive stuff has been removed and they're keeping an eye on it to make sure it doesn't come back.

I mean, we're talking wild roses -- they're just not native to our area; they've been tossed into fields and of course, they germinate and take over. 

Honeysuckle is another noxious weed. Ok, my mom had some planted alongside the driveway as a "living fence" next to our neighbor. But she quickly changed her mind when Hubby actually sawed the stuff down to a one-foot-high stump.

And the next year, it grew 5 feet and blossomed. It's lovely. It smells nice. And it takes over!!

Well, this brings me to the end of this post. Let me know how you liked my selection. Maybe I should do this every quarter or so? 

THREE More Off The List...

The bolero is DONE!! And it FITS!! And I wore it last night. Whew.

So it's Knit One Crochet Too cotton, and I did it in a different colorway than they specified. I'd love to do another one in a solid color, maybe in one of their wools. The pattern is Yin Yang Bolero, and you can find it at your LYS or on Ravelry.

Here's the "pile of color" that was about the mid-way point. The colorways were similar, and I was looking for a "beachy" feel to it. Remarkably (why am I surprised?), this garment is HEAVY. Cotton weighs a ton and I can see why the Blueberry t-shirt I've got on the needles will be interesting to wear - I think I'll have to have a tank or camisole under that one!

The garment knitted up very quickly, even with a couple of additions insofar as adding some additional rows on the bottom to get a tad more length, and adding a few more rows at the shoulder to widen up the arms. The T-construction is quite simple, and once I got the hang of the weaving, the seaming up the sides was quick. A little quirky at the "rounded" part of the armhole, but I can't figure out how to do it any other way. I'm sure there is another way, but I wasn't going to futz with it.

Here's the completed bolero, front and back. I wore it with khakis and a white t-shirt. I have a purple shirt that kind of resembles the "heather" look of the purple on the bolero, but I thought it would pop better with the white. I guess that I could also wear it with black, and of course with a long-sleeved shirt, too.

I need to work on my posture... I like the way the blues and blue-greens blended here. And you know I'm a purple-nut, so it was nice to see the frankly purple areas and the more subdued periwinkle tones. This was pretty straightforward, mindless knitting in a plain stockinette pattern. The yarn did the work, and I just had to pay attention to some increases and decreases, plus areas where you cast on at the end of the row. Doing it again, I'd probably use a cable cast-on, but for this one, I think I did a backward loop.

Here's a shot of the fish button. The vertical buttonhole works marvelously, just have to remember to go "tail first" with the button so it lays right. All I did for that was run two lengths of yarn through the buttonholes separately and knot them in the back.

I'll be uploading a few of these pics to my Ravelry page, and I'm so tickled that I can "cross this off" and move on to some of the other patterns I've been itching to start. Patience, right? My friend Sue is fond of quoting "Patience obtaineth all things." But she's one of those quirky crocheters who only works on one piece at a time, and doesn't have a stash! She calls me a "yarn snob" but that's ok. Her only real fault is that she's a White Sox fan...I can live with that, though. LOL

Oh, and I guess I should mention that BOTH earflap hats are done. No pics; they're on the blocking board, so I have to get that taken care of in the next day or so. For Kid #1, he has I-cords. Kid #2 got braids. Honestly, I do like Kid #1's hat better - the colors are subdued. What I did wrong with them is that I picked up too many stitches around the earflaps for the edging, so they kind of "bow" out a bit, but I don't think it's a huge deal.

So now I'm just working on afghan squares. I need to pull out the headband for Kid #1's girlfriend; that should work up quickly. And the sweater that was originally for me? I'm so scared that it won't even go together that I may shove it in a bag, stick it in the yarn closet and let it marinate till I have more courage to face my obvious screw-up. Sometimes, you just need to let things get space and perspective. Right off the needle, the thing may have ended up in the trash. I spent a good chunk of money on it, so I'm hoping it goes together. But right now, I don't think I could tolerate it if it doesn't work out right. Perhaps a bit of meditation over my most expensive hank of yarn. Some deep breathing. Some prayer and definitely a plea to the Knitting Godesses...

Monday Musings....

It's Monday and it's raining and I haven't blogged for a while and there are several things to cover. So...........

1.  My friend Jan and her family are mourning the death of her nephew Christopher, USN. He was a demolitions expert in Afghanistan. He and his entire group were killed when an IED exploded under his humvee. Christopher not only shares a name with one of my kids, but he's the same age. I am still trying to wrap my head around this because if my kid had been inclined to join the military (and he's not), this could've been me writing this message. I grieve with her because this young man sounds like a lovely person; I never met him, but he has a close-knit family and community who are mourning the loss of yet another life in a war which has been fought since before Jesus.

When you pray or meditate or take quiet time or whatever you do, please spare a thought for those young people who have died in this senseless war and also for their families and communities.

2.  My fantastic therapy dog and I have a new gig as a fill-in for the Child Advocacy Center. It's to help parents and children in the pre-interview room. I will not go into the interviews; it's not allowed, which is fine with me. But I think Tippi the Wonder-Dog will be a great fit there. When we went for an interview, everyone but one grumpy guard loved her.

3.  Forty minutes of complete panic. Hubby calls and says, "I've lost my wallet." Yikes!! Called the doc's office; he runs to the doc, to the dog park, to the grocery store... Then Kid #2 calls and says he found it at home. Whewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!! Bullet dodged.

4.  The carb detox is working fine; it's a good thing that I'm the kind of person who can eat the same thing over and over and over and.... wait, I'm talking myself out of this!!  Anyway, it's getting easier to avoid the "white processed" stuff, though today I fell slightly off the wagon. (sigh) It happens.

5.  I'm going to be calling my friend Sonda. Hospice is coming in to evaluate her this week. It's not looking good from a survival perspective, but Hospice is such a gift.

6.  The conservatives who continually pound us over the head with "What the Founders wanted" and "no *^&% mandates" need to read history. I know it's hard, and there are some big words. However, even George WASHINGTON issued mandates for ship owners to buy insurance on their crew, and for longshoremen to have health insurance. Mandates, folks. We shouldn't make it a dirty word.

7.  Just about done with a mala bag. I have a lovely clear quartz mala and it needs its own bag. I'm using some more of Sonda's blue hand-dyed yarn, which is what I used for my "quick winter hat" that does NOT slouch. I'm working on the i-cord now.

8.  My foot hurts. There are less than 39 days left till the Avon 2-Day Walk; I've made my financial goal (yay!) but now my foot hurts. I think the plantar fasciitis is acting up. Lovely. Can I do the whole thing on my elliptical so it's all low-impact?? I didn't think so.

Gotta get used to this new blogger format. It's very strange.

Auld Lang Syne...

So it's December 31. All the folks I know electronically have begun wishing Happy New Year to all.

I'm stuck in my office. Ok, it's my home office, but stuck nonetheless. And it's sort of of my own making, on two counts.

First, we gave in to Kid #2's request to record a Marx Brothers marathon. Yes. At least SEVEN movies. In a row. With our set-up, the things have to be on the TV to get the DVR thingie to work. I like the Marx Bros. In small doses. This started last night and it goes through the day. So this has given me incentive in another way.

Second, I'm plowing through my office. It's nearly clear on the floor, enough to have Tippi's bed there by the CD rack and for me to really roll out the yoga mat or set up the meditation cushion.

Third, Hubby is helping his mom with her computer (long distance) and also Skype-ing with his sisters. I'm very quiet; I don't even knit loudly. But I figure I can tune all this stuff out and I can have my own "mini-me day" where I don't have to be sociable - looks like I'm being productive, which I am. But I'm also out of the conversation. Mind you, I like about 90% of my in-laws (he has a HUGE family), but I just need a "re-charge" day and I've got a guitar jazz CD on the player here, there's a candle lit on my meditation altar and it's nice and quiet back here.

I have one more shelf (the goal I set for myself) and a small table to clean off, and I'll dust the altar. Then I can reward myself with knitting. I have stuff for Hubby to take downstairs and he fixed the ancient shredder, giving us probably a month or two before it completely gives up the ghost.

I have all the "stuff" piled in one corner. And it's a small-ish pile. The bags I use for music, the Zonta stuff I carry to meetings, my Free Clinic bag (I'm the secretary of the board; I do minutes on my laptop). And of course yarn bags. At some point, we'll go through this closet again and purge. Then, most of it should fit inside.

As far as goals and resolutions? I set them, but I find the process to have somewhat of a "here's another shot at this" kind of thing, and I need to be a little more serious.

First goal: Whittle down the WIP pile, both in knitting and counted-cross stitch. I'd like to finally get my mother's cross-stitch angel off my plate.

Second goal: Lose weight. Seriously, I got "the talk" from the doctor. And I'm tired of feeling the way I do. I need to lose about 35 lbs. (for a start) and then see what I feel like. I want to consider being a yoga teacher, and I really don't want to be "the fat yoga teacher" - even though that's not always a barrier. And I need to feel better about myself; all-around, it's a sensible thing to do. So instead of making this "I need to lose 35 pounds" kind of resolution, I will resolve to do the following:

• Exercise 3 to 5 days a week; shoot for even 10-minute whacks at this.
• Reinvigorate the meditation practice. Yeah, funny choice of words, but I need to have about 10 minutes to focus. I've got the supplies. I just need to actually DO it.
• Follow the Weight Watchers plan I've been paying for... It really works when you do it!
• Talk nice to myself. Plan to fail, and then deal with the inevitable failure. Everyone slips; nobody's perfect. It's how you handle the failure that counts. (See, I'm already trying!)

The Dalai Lama told Ann Curry: A happy life must be built. You must act.  So, essentially: nobody's handing anything to you. Do it yourself, be kind, and go forward.

New Year's Eve is sort of a natural time for reflection; I'm not sure we're genetically programmed for that at this time of year because I've heard some folks say that September is the more logical time - change of seasons, beginning of school year, etc. During this dark-ish time, when winter is actually only about half over, you have to wonder if now is a good time to look inside. Why not spring, when things are being "re-born" courtesy of Mother Nature?

I don't know. But I know I have calendars to change and an office that's just about ready to tackle whatever 2012 brings. So, let me leave you in the last bit of 2011 with my favorite quote. It's from Harriet Tubman (1822 - 1913), the African-American abolitionist, humanitarian, knitter and Union spy during the Civil War. Harriet had great wisdom; I give it to you, from her:

Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.