Adjusting to the Silence...

So it's been a couple months. And I'm still waiting to be greeted when I walk in the door. I still listen for the turn, turn, turn on the dog bed and the PLOP as Quinn drops into her comfy spot. And I still reach for the stick blender and turn, wanting to see Raisa ready to sing. I look at the leashes every first and third Tuesdays, figuring it's time to suit up to go out to the university. 

People wonder when the grief goes away, and on our "loss of pet" group, the constant question is, "When will I feel normal?" The answer is: Never. You never really do get over the loss of a companion animal, whether you refer to it as your furry child, or your soul animal. They leave a void in your heart and a mark on your soul. 

Which is why it's so freaking abominable that Governor Noem (my hands want to type out MORON) in South Dakota is bragging about killing - executing - a puppy and a goat. The puppy (14 months old) "didn't hunt" and the goat "smelled." Well, doofus --- TRAIN the puppy, and bathe the goat. Executing them in a gravel pit doesn't make you "able to make the hard decisions." It makes you an utter psychopath. Who shouldn't be allowed near ANY living thing, much less allowed in politics. And don't come at anyone with that "farmers/ranchers" BS. Every farmer I know (and I'm living in the nation's Bread Basket) would've rehomed the dog and hosed down the goat. But guess what? GOATS SMELL. So do pigs and horses and sheep. And most ranchers who've been shredding her on social media said the same thing: if the dog doesn't hunt, you train it -- and for God's sake, it's a PUPPY. They can't even process. They have instincts, yes, but they need focus and training. And if the dog still has no instinct for hunting, you rehome it or it's a pet. 

My uncle, a dedicated hunter, had a Springer Spaniel, Rags. That dog was nuts. He hated gunfire, he hated wet. He was allergic to grass and weeds. He was as useless as a 2-legged milking stool as a hunting dog. But he could bark. He could play with the kids. He was essentially a pet. I have no idea of his bloodlines, but my uncle was persnickety about his dogs. He tossed his hands up in the air and said, "I guess I've gotta get another dog that'll hunt." He didn't take him out to the quarry and shoot him. He kept him his entire life (the dog's - my uncle is still around). 

As I sit here contemplating what my next adventure with animals will be, this woman who thinks she's going to be the VP for that orange excrescense at the top of the MAGA party, is being flayed, as she should be. Karma is a bugger, you miserable excuse for a human. 

The Knitting...

I got my replacement Baby Camel yarn (exchanged for the Eco Cashmere that was defective) from Purl Soho. It's lovely! And it perfectly matches my vintage camel coat. So I think I'm knitting cuffs for the coat. I've wanted to for a long time, and I couldn't find a good match. Well, this could've been made for the coat! I'll do a 2x2 rib, and they'll be lovely! The sleeves on the coat are just a tad too short, so the cuffs will be a welcome addition. 

I'm still knitting on the Eco Cashmere Simplicity Scarf, but I set it aside. I have news....

No. No grandbabies...

I have yarn. (yeah, I know, I have STASH). My friend D gave me TWO "medium" sized moving boxes and a 35-gallon tote full of yarn. She's doing her Swedish Death Cleaning, and has moved away from knitting (yes, I know - seems impossible), though she's still knitting socks. And she asked me to help her get rid of her stash. I can keep whatever I want, sell whatever I want, but just get rid of it. There are some partially completed projects, which I will likely frog. She doesn't have the patterns -- and half the balls don't have ball-bands. There are also needles and some books. 

Anyway, I'm going to keep a bunch of it. There's some beautiful CoBaSi which looks like it was headed for a fade shawl, and a lot of sock yarn. 

I'm also working on another pair of socks. She has Opal, and the Love Story colorway just makes me smile. So I've started on a plain pair. There's enough for several pairs of socks, and I can add the partial balls to my "franken-sock" stash. Or make a shawl. The All Used Up Shawl (and the cardigan) could be a great way to stash bust all my odds and ends. 

I still haven't fixed the dropped stitch on the baby blanket, but I'm going to get to it. I have time. I also need to whip out a little hat, so there's that to finish and then the fleece throw which is going to go with this gift. Or maybe I'm not doing the fleece throw - that's still up in the air. 

The one thing that's been occupying my time with the boxes of yarn from D is the untangling.

I'm one of those weird folks who really enjoys untangling yarn. Some of the balls are better than others, but this cotton blend needed to be untangled and washed then re-wound. It took me a while, and after I got it untangled, I tied it in a couple places and used some Eucalan to soak it. Hung it on the shower and let it dry for a few days. I just need to re-wind it at some point. I know what this is, but I can't recall the name - so I want to do another shawlette, because I think that's all I have enough yarn for. Maybe I'll use a bit of a larger needle and just stockinette stitch. 

The Injury...

OK, so. The hand isn't fixed yet. But I did end up going back to the doctor. And I got TWO steroid shots in the left hand. It was as amazing as it seems. Not. Though she is good - I was really numb and didn't feel a thing. At least till the numbing spray wore off. Then, it was as if my hand was on fire! It's eased up somewhat and I'm feeling the effects of the steroids. 

I also made an appointment with the surgeon who fixed it in the first place - thankfully, he hasn't retired! The doctor said that she thinks the tendon that was wedged into my wrist has "broken free of the capsule" and that the swelling may be permanent, which affects my range of motion. I can put more weight on it, so that's good...but again, the biggest reason I dislike steroid shots is that they allow me to do stupid stuff. I did buy some blocks that had shapes cut out so that I can use more of my palm. Because that left thumb is fused at a 2-degree angle (for function), I can't flatten the hand. And sometimes, I don't get quite the right placement on a block, but with these blocks I ordered, the weight is more in my palm, which is a bit safer for my thumb. The screw is exactly where it's always been, but I don't want to risk it. 

So I figured that I should see the surgeon and figure out what we can do. Or not do. But it's worth the visit. Hubby wants to ask about the "lifetime warranty" on the surgery! 

The Garden...

The potatoes are in. I'm getting some repellant for the tree-rats (squirrels)...the stinkers are digging up my potted plants. I tried cayenne and red pepper flakes. They just scurry over to the bird bath, drink up and do it again. 

I have celery rooting in a bowl - we'll see if that comes to anything. I have grown celery before, out of starts from the greenhouse, and it's amazing the flavor you get from home-grown celery!! 

I have a couple baskets of petunias out front, and they've survived at least one mild frost; they're magenta with lime green edges, so I can't wait to see what the hummingbirds think. I have lantana in 2 pots, cosmos + Dusty Miller in one pot and a big pot of dianthus. Waiting to see what else I can pick up; I need at least 2 more hanging pots - maybe 4. 

We're looking at a tiny veggie garden this year, as I may have mentioned. Romaine, a couple tomatoes, a pot or two of parsley (at least one for the butterflies!). Very simple. 

It was a busy morning today; out in the compost area twice already, and I made some ham and bean soup with our own herbs. My mom wanted some, so I made it; she and I are the only ones who'd eat it, so I got half and she got half. Good deal all the way around. 

The Reading...

Aside from a current addiction to Lord Peter Wimsey, I've started "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van Der Kolk, MD. 

It's pretty deep. Very technical but also readable. I've heard from folks that it's a book you can't really plow through, and I can see that. It takes me a couple chapters, maybe, and then I have to put it aside. 

I'm also still working through 1Q84, about 50% through that one. It's fascinating and reads smoothly, even with the time jumps. 

When I need to rest my hand, I turn to my books. 

A Bittersweet Birthday...

So we recently celebrated my newest grand-niece's birthday. She's one. And it's bittersweet. She's the granddaughter of my late sister. One of the relatives hugged me and said, "It's so nice that you're the fill-in." I know they meant well, but boy, that cut. I don't WANT to be the fill-in. I want my sister here. And she's not. And there's still a huge hole in my heart. 

The little one is in the "daddy's girl" phase and it was so funny to see all of us turning ourselves inside-out to make her smile, only for her to rebuff all of us pretty consistently. 

Eventually, she'll come around. Babies do that. 

Unfortunately, I ate some things that didn't agree with me. Well, I take that back. The cheese sticks VERY much agreed with me....to the point that I should have just walked away. I adore a good fried mozzarella stick, and these were wonderful! Oh, I did have salad, so there's that! I think Hubby and I were definitely in a carb-coma in the evening. 

Miscellaneous...

Randomly...

1. I need to step up my fitness. My BF has offered to teach me to swim, and I may have to take her up on that. It's good for my hip and I should have learned a long time ago. 
2. I have to catch up with my remaining sibling; it's time for another adventure, and I don't want to let too much time pass. Life can get in the way for sure, but it's also what we prioritize. 
3. I really need to get into my home office and clear some crap out. Swedish Death Cleaning for me, too!
4. I've actually started Christmas shopping. It's better to get an idea of your list and chip at it all year long, I think. 
5. I've got to get out of the habit of going down the YouTube hole... I tend to do that when it's time to go to bed, and I need to cultivate a different habit. 

Random Picture...

The last of the lilacs of 2024. The bushes have been extremely prolific this year. This is the third cutting I've gotten and while they're a little beat up, it's still something I felt like I wanted to do. 

People have been walking past the yard and stopping to smell them for the past several weeks. They're at the end of the sidewalk, so it's easy for people to enjoy them.  

We're actually debating taking them out, because honestly they're planted too close to the sidewalk. They seemed fine when we put them in, but now they've gotten a bit loose. Hubby trims them so that they're never much taller than 7 feet, but one of the bushes has a ton of suckers, and the other seems to have sprouted a bit taller than its mate. I'd swear they're two different varieties, because the one on the right always blooms a few days before the other one. 

I got a hit of the smell, thankfully -- but the ability to smell is now gone again. But it was worth it. 

It's Been a Long, Strange Trip...

 Seriously, I started to write this in JUNE. And then I hit a wall. The wall consisted of a lot of things. Boss Lady's retirement and the attendant stuff, things happening in the family, delayed grief from my sister's death, busy-ness from a training I was in the midst of...a lot of things. 

But mostly I felt like there was a hole in my soul. Even with the monumental stuff going on in the world, I was just...numb. When Katanji Brown Jackson was sworn in as a Supreme Court Justice, I was excited. And numb. I didn't have words. 

When Roe was overturned, again: stunned. And numb. 

When Beto O'Rourke called out a protester, same thing. "About time" and...numb.

When TFG got that search warrant served on him...you'd think THAT might break through the fog, but it hasn't, really. 

I just feel bad that I haven't written and it's like I fell of the face of the earth. 

The Postcards...

So I've been venting some spleen with postcards. Actually, my studio is going to be a gathering place for folks writing postcards to voters for a particular candidate. I believe in the power of the postcard. 

We do so many emails, so many texts, so many phone calls...a postcard is something different. My friend "A" latched onto this, and I ended up sending a bunch. To the SCOTUS and to the idiots who don't support sensible gun legislation. And as thank-you notes to those who are actually legislating. Doing the job we elected them for. And reminding those who're slacking off. 

I'm absolutely not sure if it does anything but it makes me feel like it's SOMETHING. Especially in these times when we all feel so out of control on the whole ball of ugly that's happening in this country. 

I enjoy reminding Uncle Clarence that, while he's dumping "precedent," he'd best be careful: At one point in history, he would've been 3/5 of a person; he couldn't vote; and he and Ginni couldn't marry. Loving v. VA was only decided, after all, in 1967... 

I got my postcards from VistaPrint, but you could get them from anywhere - maybe you even have a stash of postcards that you picked up on your travels. You know nobody wants them, and if you're decluttering, why not use them? At least you'll be making your point. It's pretty therapeutic. 

The Knitting...

Well, there's some progress. I had to add another ball of yarn. And then the age-old question: "How do I do this so that it doesn't look clunky?" It's honestly easier to do when you're knitting with an appropriate-sized needle. Like, if I'm knitting socks, I'm using a size 1 or 2 needle, and the fabric is pretty stable. But with the Long Sands Tee, I'm knitting a linen yarn with slightly bigger needles, to make that "lacy" fabric, so I could do a couple of things:

I could knit double for a few stitches. I could end at a side seam so that I could just knit 1 or 2 stitches and "bury" the new join in the side. Or I could do a variation on a spit join. 

For the uninitiated, the spit join is usually used (in my experience, at least) when you want to join two balls of wool. Like, straight wool, not superwash, not mixed with any other fiber. The reason is, you take Yarn A and "unwind" about 1-2" of it, and do the same for Yarn B. Then, you spit in one hand, lay the yarns with the unwound ends overlapping, and rub your hands together to build some heat and "felt" the yarns together. It's remarkably strong. 

But with linen, it doesn't felt. So the variation I found was to unwind part of the end of Ball A and the same amount on Ball B. And braid them together. 

I went to The Google and looked for "ways to join yarn," and found this. The demo was on a worsted weight, so they used a paper clamp to secure the end. Of course, as you can see, all I needed was a paper CLIP... 

The only thing I don't like is that, because I'm using the larger needles to get the drape in the fabric, I can see where this is at. And of course, it's the front, toward the center. 

As a new skill, it's cool. But as an actual way of construction for my garment, I really wish I would have done it on the seam. I'll get a picture of it, and show it next time. 

The project is coming along nicely. It'll get set aside in September. My mom is (finally) having her hip replaced, and I'm "it." I will be taking her to the hospital, and I'm hoping she stays overnight to be observed. She's well into her 80s and honestly, if something happens, I'm skilled enough to dial 911. And that's about it. She should stay overnight, and I thought I had her convinced. But she's waffling. Don't get me wrong, all her marbles are there. But she thinks she's MY age...and she's not. There are benefits to her staying in the hospital overnight, including the fact that the elderly don't come out of anaesthesia easily. If she were to try to get up, and I wasn't right there, there would be a problem. If she was in the hospital, there would probably be an alarm and someone (or several nurses) would be able to deal with it so she wouldn't hurt herself. 

So my "surgery knitting" will be socks. The Kindle will be charged. It takes about 2 hours for the surgery, so I'll probably stay put. It's easier. This is where I miss my sister. She was "the person" for this stuff. I can take care of the other stuff, but medical things are out of my area. 

I Did a Thing...

I got an email from Amazon saying that, basically, my Kindle (3rd gen) would no longer be able to download books. Well, that kinda sucks. I didn't update it; no need to. It was working just fine. But what's a Kindle if you can't get books, right? 

You can see (a) the difference in size - the old one is on the right, and the new one is on the left; and (b) the difference in the brightness. The new one is much cleaner, and you can make the light more "warm" as you read in the evening, to cut down on the blue light. 

I was given a Fire (Gen 8), which is cool. I have a lovely case for it, and I have TWO games loaded: 2 versions of Solitaire. Yeah. Big gamer, that's me...

In that Amazon email there were two coupons, and I figured, "let's see how this works." I got the grand sum of FIVE BUCKS for my old Kindle, but with both coupons (and a $40 e-book credit!), I got a Kindle Paperwhite Signature Edition for a grand total of $90. Which, Hubby says, was LESS than he paid for my Kindle Gen 3 lo those many years ago. Happy day!! I'm just getting used to the lack of a keyboard, and learning where things are. 

I loaded my $40 worth of books - it wasn't as many as you'd think, but I got some good ones. I don't necessarily like the way they organize them. My old one, I could dump "read" books into a file. This one, they have "read" across the book, but with the transfer of my books from the Kindle Gen 3, some of the "read" were transferred as "un-read." 

I also got a nice cover, Van Gogh's "Starry Night." I'd have loved a TARDIS one, and I may still look for that! I'll say that it fits in my purse better. And it has increased my reading time. I have a lot on my TBR (To Be Read) list, so putting a slight dent in that pile. 

The benefit of the Kindle as opposed to the Fire is the longer charge on the Kindle. But it's a piffle; both are nice. I can use books from either when I read them to my yoga class on Sunday nights. It takes up less room. And my bookshelves are already overflowing. 

So I'm happy with my 2 new "toys." I would like to do another game, but I can't decide what to do. I've looked at the word games (I do love Scrabble), but nothing has made me say, "Yeah, I can do that without it driving me nuts." And unfortunately, the Fire comes with ads. Which is incredibly annoying. 

I Did Another Thing...

My hair needed to be re-touched. Yes, I love my silver, but I'm not opposed to playing with a little Rose Gold every so often to shuzh it up a bit more. My stylist, a young woman, said to me recently, "How do you feel about rose gold + violet?" I figured the worst that could happen is that I didn't like it. 

I love it. I've gotten so many great compliments on it. I wasn't going to do it for the summer, because I thought I'd be able to go to the barn more. Well, they changed their parameters, and my hip was acting up (see below), and so I figured I'd give it a try. 

It's quite obvious in the sunshine. And I think it looks spectacular! Is it vanity? Yeah. But it's a little vanity. 

Yeah, my hip is aggravated. I had one cortisone shot that lasted about 3 months, maybe 4. I was disappointed, but the doctor seemed to think that was a good result. I guess all in all it was, considering that your hips never rest. You're either holding them in place sitting or they're supporting you even lying down and standing. 

So I had a second cortisone shot and it hurt like a bugger. Doc really hit The Spot there, and Hubby said that I levitated "about 3 feet off the table." It's been bothering me more, and that's my basic objection to cortisone shots: I tend to do stupid stuff because it doesn't hurt. It makes me feel like it was before I hurt myself. Or it hurts because I've been stuck at the computer too long. Or I slept funny. Or I stood up too long. It's a no-win situation. I'm looking at an experimental treatment, because they don't replace hips for a torn labrum. Thankfully. One of us in the family with a titanium hip is enough!

And I Did a FINAL Thing...

I finally finished (after 1 revision) my 500-hour teacher training thesis. I haven't heard back from this revision, but I'm hoping they like this version and I can check this one off my list. In the meantime, I completed an 85-hour Prenatal Yoga training, which I've wanted to do since 2014...At last it's done. 

In the meantime, I started a 20-hour prenatal training, and I'm going to finish that, mainly so I can get sequence ideas. It's always nice to get some inspiration. 

I've done the community (free) prenatal class and I have a student body of...one. The other one was 30+ weeks along, so she's near to term and probably not coming back. I'm hoping to get a community going, and I know it'll take some work, but it will be worth it. 

I also hired a teacher who's a triple-threat, sort of. She's a student of mine who did her training during Covid, and she's certified as an ASL interpreter, and is a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, so while her training was from a studio with a Christian bent, she is well-versed, and can do some nice classes. She also can appeal to the other population segments. 

We're also working with a local group to do trauma-informed yoga with sexual assault clients. Things are moving in a positive direction, and we're hoping to continue to grow. 

Random Picture...

Frog legs. Or "sploot." Whichever. We were at my mom's house and Buddy decided that he was going to relax. I can't resist frog legs. Or sploot, or whatever you want to call them. 

Quinn usually does frog legs, and Tippi used to. I haven't seen Raisa do them - but she has her own quirks. 

I appreciate when a dog can relax around me; frankly, it usually happens because I'm a dog person. Honestly, it also usually happens with cats. I guess I just have the "thing" that allows them to let themselves hang loose and mostly ignore me!

I will write about all the Big Important Things that have been happening. Just not right now. It's enough that I figured I'd land here and spend some time with you all. Thanks for being here.