The Well is Dry...

I wish I could tell you that things were back to normal, that all is well, that (maybe) we have a new doggo, that everyone was fine. 

But it's not, we don't, and we're not. 

The good news is that we made it through Holy Week and Easter. The bad news is that some promises got broken, feelings were hurt, and frankly, I'm so dry of inspiration that I could be in the middle of Death Valley and not even notice the scorpions approaching... 

All my girls are home, and even though my BFF says this is creepy, this is where they currently reside. Everyone does their thing and I'm not going to lie - it does give us some comfort. It's actually only coincidental that all the urns match. Hence the collars. I wanted to get matching memorial stones, but I think the company that did Tippi's went out of business because I couldn't find them. Anyway, we re-did Raisa's and did Quinn's via a company out of England. You can see Quinn's at the far right. The middle one of Raisa was one I got off Etsy and frankly, I didn't like it. So Raisa's & Quinn's match. One day, when we actually have spring and summer, I may put everyone's stones out in the rock garden. 

This may be my most "ugh" blog entry ever, sorry. But what comes out of my fingers comes out of my fingers...I didn't want it to be that way, but that's my whole writing process.  

The Knitting...

The "over-use" injury to my left hand is, if nothing else, getting worse. But I started knitting again - I have deadlines to meet. However, I've started to time myself. I can do about an hour with a sock-weight yarn, and a little less with a bulkier yarn. Sounds funny, but think about it --- the size of the yarn determines the heaviness of the yarn and the project. 

The baby blanket is done. I took a picture, noticed a dropped stitch and said something nasty. We're gonna have to bless this one! The good news is that since the yarn was held double, the dropped stitch (in the middle, natch...) wasn't a total disaster. I was able to pull through using that same color and weave in ends. Not gorgeous from the back, but from the front, invisible. Hubby, once his own grief-fog lifted somewhat, said to me, near the end of this project, "What are you knitting?" 

He never asks... Anyway. I showed him the project, and he actually said the colors were "really pretty and bright," again - usually, I get a "looks fine" from him. 

Mind you, I am NOT complaining. He's fantastic when I want to match color. As many long-time readers may know, he's got a great eye for color and often comes up with things I'd never think of and voila! They work. He and my mom have that in common. Anyway, he thought it was really cool, and I ws going to use that green variegated with some lime green yarn for a baby hat. Held singly, though, because double it is kind of substantial, which is good for a blanket but not what you want for a hat for a baby. 

Again, 8-hour baby blanket pattern (available just about anywhere) using Encore Worsted - 4 balls. This particular colorway is 2 of a solid and 2 of anything else. I tend toward using a solid and then a tweed of that same color family, but pickings were scant when I went to the yarn shop. So this is what I ended up with and it's really growing on me. 

I also have a fleece blanket planned for this little one - one side a gorgeous pewter grey for the bottom, and a wild tie-dye for the top. Did I say that I didn't like "traditional" baby colors? 

I don't. I'll knit that if I'm told to do so (and sometimes, if it's a relative particularly, and they know they're getting one, my mom will tell me if the nursery is "trad" or not). Otherwise, I'm doing jewel-tones, high contrast, etc. It's more fun and less boring. 

So after I finished this, I got some PurlSoho Echo Cashmere (95% recycled cashmere and 5% other stuff)... and am doing a Simplicity Scarf. I caught a sale on the yarn, and it's a purple - looks kind of heather-ish, and knits up really nicely. 

Good stitch definition, soft in the hand. The color is very rich; it's a nice deep purple with little tints of the 5% "other" in different tones. I'm doing the longer version, so that was a cast on of 375 stitches. NO WAY was I going to "guess-timate" the length for the long tail cast on, and I only recently came across a reasonably accurate cast on calculator (read on for that link). So I did a knitted cast on. It was interesting to work with that again. I've done that technique to add stitches in the middle of a project, like for my simple baby sweater. 

But never that many stitches. Actually, the beauty of this was that I could just knit along for a while to get the movements into my hands, and then I could stop and count. It does take a while to do that many stitches. 

I was able to knit outside on the porch yesterday (Easter Sunday) because it was nice outside. Today, it's about 10 degrees colder, and we're looking at the potential for snow by Wednesday. Welcome to April in Illinois!

Anyway, I'm doing the large one, which is 6" from the cast on edge. I've got about 2 1/2" in, and because it's so freaking long, it does take a bit to finish a row. 

I can do about 4 rows and then I have to set it down for a while. 

For the life of me, though, I'm having a mental-pause on the knitted row. I cannot -- just CANNOT - process the M1L. Do you know how many of those I've done? Not quite a zillion, but pretty close. But for some reason, this just isn't sinking in. I've watched Very Pink Knits You Tube. Every. Single. Time. Call it long Covid brain or just The Other Thing. But I just can't manage to remember how to do it. 

As far as the long tail calculator, I'm linking this video - please take a look and if you're interested, sign on to get her info. Purl Together is another source I do like. That's the fun of the You Tube knitting community - you can really find some great resources. 

The Injury...

Well, I was wearing the brace, doing the compression gloves, using lidocaine and some special "pain ointment" as well as Tylenol, red light, and ice (not simultaneously!). And there's a lump in my hand right where the thumb is attached to the wrist. It's just not going away. 

Fair point, I'm not exactly resting it. I mean, I'm not slinging horse crap, but I do have to work. I'm also not doing much yoga (again)... I did one class of a 3-class workshop I was taking, because I can't put any weight on it. Unscrewing a toothpaste tube is not fun. Bending or flexing is not fun. Needless to say, I picked up the guitar to practice for Good Friday ("Were You There") and it was a big old nopity-nope. I couldn't bend my wrist enough to get the chords. 

So I made another appointment for the hand person. End of this month. I'll let you know. The good news (I'm trying, really...) is that the last time I saw the NP, we had an X-ray and the screw where the thumb is fused is just gorgeous and in place right where it should be. That was something I was really worried about. 

I'm working with Tom Myers' energy trains and trying a hand massage to see if that helps. 

The Other Thing...

A long time ago, when I was in graduate school, we took a class in our HR module where we did testing for various things: the Myers-Briggs, a few other "what do you want to be when you grow up" tests, and some screenings. 

At that time, I was going through Some Stuff. One of which was my dad in the process of dying. It was just a few years after we'd moved back home, and the kids were just getting to know their grandparents. Life sucks. 

Anyway, I remember after doing one of the screenings, the instructor looked at the results and called out, "I need to see Number XYZ" (we were all numbers so the results were anonymous). That was me. It was quite sobering because the instructor told me that the screening clearly pointed to significant depression. Not the "I'm just sad and out of sorts" stuff, but clinical depression. 

I did talk to my neurologist and tried a couple things. Nothing seemed to work. And I'm complicated. I've mentioned it to my GP and my cardiologist and all 3 docs came to the same conclusion: I'm complicated. Because of meds I take for my heart, which really don't play well with the meds I take for seizures (thanks again, Covid), the combo there would be pretty difficult to balance with anti-depressants. Which have a host of side effects, which include seizures and some wonky thing with heart rhythms. 

Oh joy. 

Which brings us to now. I'm in a rough patch. I will cry at the drop of a hat. I can't sleep. I'm comfort-eating. I can't distract myself. My fuse is so short as to be nearly invisible, which is not cool. I have a sharp tongue -- that's not part of the depression. That's just who I am and I have to be very careful. Words can hurt. My filters are fading a bit, and I'm scared of that. 

I was able to pass off a lot of this due to work stress -- working at a church during Holy Week and Easter without a priest and with a bishop's visit pending? That'll curl your hair. Lucky for me I'm already totally grey... I've snarled at my kids and at Hubby. I haven't talked to my brother in a while, and I'm avoiding him. He'll want to know what's going on and I don't think I want to scare him. I did do a slight snap at someone at church. There was a personality conflict and I basically said, "Not my circus, not my monkeys. You two work it out now. " I think they were expecting sympathy. Sorry - I'm fresh out. 

There has also been some static in situations involving volunteer work, and I find that I'm no longer "the coolest head in the room." I am just so freaking tired of drama. And that's not the usual "can't we all just get along?" thing... This is "I really, really can't deal with you people anymore." And that bothers me because I am picky about where I volunteer and each place has a lot of meaning for me. 

I need to find a therapist. My problem is, I know a lot of them. Personally. And I don't want to talk to someone I know as a friend or socially. I know all about confidentiality and that sort of thing, but we're all human and I don't think I would feel comfortable taking a deep dive into my psyche with someone I know. 

So I guess I'll ask my friends for some referrals. I am also not comfortable just taking a look through the Yellow Pages (yeah, I'm that old...). 

In the meantime, I'll just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Maybe it'll pass. But more likely, it's time I tackled this head-on. I can't keep doing this. The older I get, the more I see how I'm actually cheating myself. Enough of that. 

The Garden...

So it's April 1st. And Mother Nature is in a mood. Yesterday, it was gorgeous, as I said before. The hyacinths are in bloom, the Monster Bleeding Heart has started to bud, as have the lilacs. The lily of the valley is pushing up shoots, and the lavender is greening up, as well as my beloved Icelandic Poppy. I can see bits of bee balm and a few things I can't quite identify yet, but I'm also trying to convince Hubby to do No Mow May...to leave the yard unmowed till Mother's Day. Or at least a chunk of it...to let the pollinators come out of their hibernation. 

And Wednesday it might snow. Of course. 

As I was knitting, I needed a break, so I got up to take pictures. I figured that if this week's weather took everything out, at least I had evidence that it used to be there. Along the north side of the front yard, we have a row of day lilies. I think I want to take those out, replant as many as I can along the front of the yard, and then plant some bushes for Raisa, Tippi, Quinn, and my sister. We hadn't planted anything for her and Tippi - and we usually do plant a memorial thing. Both of them died in cold weather, and by the time I was able to plant, I was laid up with the hip thing and couldn't go out and pick something out for them. And now they're all gone, so it's time to do something. 

Hubby has talked about removing the 2 lilacs at the end of the sidewalk - he thought he planted them too close to the sidewalk, and neither of us thinks they'll survive a transplant. We keep them about 7 feet tall, but they do overgrow sideways and one has some pretty bad suckers. 

So maybe we put a couple lilacs on the north side, then some forsythia at the end of the sidewalk. Those you can trim up nicely and they'll still look gorgeous. 

I'm still not sure about the veggie garden. I'm thinking small. Hubby's not sure about one at all - and admittedly, he does most of the veggie garden stuff. I do the flowers. So we'll see about that. 

Easter on Palm Sunday...

Regular readers know that we do things differently. We do the major holidays (except for Xmas Eve - that's in concrete) the Sunday before. So this Easter, we had an interesting mix of lasagne, salad, garlic bread, chicken enchiladas, and fruit. We did the lasagne and garlic bread, and for The Vegan Kid, I did donuts - which I didn't bring to the house. I knew the family would scarf them down. So I put together a little Easter basket. I'm not sure they made it home, but that's not my problem. 

I also did vegan stuffed peppers. I bought orange ones (on request) and stuffed them with a mixture of farro, mushrooms, kale, chives, spring onion and celery. I had extra filling, so I brought it -- and they ate it... My brother managed to take a pepper home, and really enjoyed it. 

Obviously, that picture is not the stuffed peppers. We have these large catering pans, and we took the 3" one and made a 5-layer lasagne. With smoked provolone, mozzarella, sharp Italian, and Parm, along with several pints of our own home-made sauce. THEN my niece tells me that she and her oldest kid are cheese-intolerant. Well, not totally intolerant. She ate it and so did the kid. They just said they would have a "good tummy ache." Oh well. Now I know. Guess maybe next year we skip that. In my defense, the chicken enchiladas also had cheese...And they did know we were going to have lasagne, so if you don't speak up, you get fed what I cook. I'm happy to turn over cooking duties for once, but since there are usually only crickets when I suggest that? Deal with it. 

The vegan donuts were with the help of my friend's Baby Cakes donut maker. I must have one of these. I had asked her to borrow a donut pan (the recipe is for baked donuts, much easier and less messy), and she said, "I'm bringing this - you're gonna love it!"

Oy. I do. I made 2 varieties: an apple spice, dusted with cinnamon sugar and a chocolate dipped in a chocolate glaze. They're so stinking cute! I used a chopstick to remove them from the pan, it makes 4 at a time, and it's about 6 minutes per batch. 

I did bring some leftovers to church and they were gone. Heaven knows they're super easy to make, so I may end up buying one and then doing that every so often for coffee hour. 

Random Picture...

A number of years ago, we went to Europe. We traveled to Lyon, France, and went up into Switzerland.

It was Hubby's first time over there, and my second (a graduation trip to Greece in the ancient days...), and we had a blast. Everyone asks what we brought back for souvenirs, and it was like, "5 memory cards full of pictures!" I did bring back some lavender from Provence, but customs searched HUBBY'S suitcase, not mine. Go figure! 

Anyway, have I talked about that 2-part scarf project, finally completing it? This is the blue part. I told you it was one of my longest-running WIPs...it was around 2013. I took it everywhere I traveled, and back then, it wasn't uncommon for me to travel a lot. Workshops, trainings, fun travel...this scarf went with me everywhere. It was my travel project. Notwithstanding the fact that I used a circular needle, the TSA let me take it on planes (you really can hurt someone with those needles, but who am I to argue??). Here, we were waiting for our parasailing adventure and I had it in my bag. The scarf hit both France and Switzerland. For the brief time we were in Italy (a drive-through) I wasn't knitting. 

I would love to plan a trip again. Maybe to see the Northern Lights. Or the North Pole before it melts. A girl can dream. I just have to find the right travel project. 

Christmas Has Commenced...

 So, "White Christmas" is on the TV, I've got a cake and 2 batches of cookies baked. Hubby has the tree up...He's going to put one batch of Lemon & Cherry cookies in the oven this evening. 

It feels like we might have some momentum. I've got 4 gifts wrapped, and most of the shopping done. Though, to confess, in the past many years, I've just done shopping early and had it over with. That worked out especially well with Covid, of course, but lately, I'm not even in the mood to get out and "people" a lot with shoppers. 

I will say, however, that I'm a bit bummed that the local "Christmas Pop-Up Shop" which opened in one of the mall buildings has not decided to come back. That was fun, even though I certainly do not need one more ornament or decoration. Period. 

I finished a large editing project. I actually even caught up on the blogs I usually read regularly, but I let them slide. There's been a lot going on. 

I hate to jinx it, but I'm actually slightly ahead of myself at work, considering it's Advent and we're embarking on the busiest season for the next few weeks. Fingers crossed that I haven't just put a pox on the copier or something... 

The One Problem...

The fact that I still have just about ZERO taste & smell is particularly problematic. I can smell strong smells. I often misidentify them. Many times, I've said to Hubby, "Something's burning..." and it's not. But taste is the most elusive now, and it's hitting me funny. I don't want to eat. 

I was just kind of eating out of habit, even though (a) I couldn't taste it; and (b) with the hip injury I was certainly not moving a lot. That caused a pretty nasty weight gain. Now, I'm not a waif. I never have been, and I've not been obsessive about my weight. I'm pretty strong, and I have good (or HAD) muscle tone. Could I be thinner? Yeah, my cardiologist would like that, but I was active and  ate mostly clean, so he wasn't too fussed about it. 

But at my last check up he was not a happy camper. I don't know if that's what lit the lightbulb for me, or it's (which is where I'm tending to land on this issue) the anniversary of the last time I saw my sister alive that's hitting me between the eyeballs. 

I have to do something to re-create a sensible balance. I'm committing myself to introducing more plant-based meals into my cooking rota. Hubby is a definite carnivore, and that's fine. Dude never sits still...he's always doing something. So that's good on him. But for me, I find meat to be "heavy." I always have, apparently. I asked my mom to make sure I wasn't imagining it. 

So yeah, this is definitely a First World problem. I have a house to live in, I have food in the fridge, I have good health insurance. And I also have long-Covid. Which pretty much sucks. 

I really saw something disturbing on the socials recently. As you may have heard, Celine Dion said she has "Stiff Person Syndrome," and some people have linked that to the fact that she took the Covid vaccines (as did I - and I had Covid before we had vaccines...). 

The fact that these people are all, "She took the poison so she's paying the price"? That is inhumane. Unkind. Scurrilous unless you know for sure whether that's true, and reading it off a list of "side effects" doesn't count unless you know her medical history. I mean, honestly, I thought she was quite frail after her husband died. Who knows what she's been through?

And it's none of our business. 

Why can't people be kinder?

Knitting On...

I'm knitting apace with the baby blanket. I've got about a foot on the needles. It's 33" long, so I've got another couple feet to go. 

I'm enjoying how this is feeling. It's very squishy, and honestly, is going to be one warm blankie for the kid! 

I'm anxious to get on to the Baby Surprise Jacket, but a bit apprehensive, too. I mean, I've seen a lot of "genius, so easy" as well as a lot of, "OMG, I'm so confused!" And knitting on a deadline doesn't help that. I did see a version where they seamed up the front and made the neck wider - making it a jumper or pullover. That's an option. 

Anyway, it's going to be an experience. 

So my friend D sent me a note and said, "I have these socks..." They're adorable: red heels, cuffs and toes, and a grey background, with a motif of candy canes. I don't do color-work like that. I love the design, and I love the other colorwork socks I've seen, but frankly - self-patterning sock yarn is my jam. 

She said the sweetest thing: "You're a better knitter than you think you are..." That's quite a vote of confidence since she's such a great knitter herself. 

I'm also kind of getting my knitting mojo back, so I'm anxious to get knitting on some other stuff; finishing up Long Sands, finishing up at least another pair of socks. Perhaps starting something from my stash. I have a couple projects set aside: a nice beret, a cowl, and a vest. And maybe those colorwork socks that D wants me to try. 

The Baking...

First up was a Poppy Seed cake, which I put in a Bundt pan. I've sliced and double-wrapped it so that I can add the slices to the cookie trays. 

CPS Butter Cookies were next. I scrape in 2 vanilla beans, and I add 2 tsp. of vanilla (which is a tad more than they call for. These are family favorites, especially since I've added the vanilla bean. Those were a last-minute addition to the list - so Baking Kid told me there would be a vegan option. I just said go ahead and do them, and I'll keep mine for the cookie trays we're giving away. 

If we don't tell the carnivores that the baking is vegan, 90% of the time, they can't tell... 

These are great cookies if you're tired of shortbread. See, even though they ARE basically shortbread, they're somehow fluffier and not as dense as shortbread can be. One year, I dipped them in chocolate as a "half & half" cookie. 

It was gilding the lily and we didn't need to do that. The vote was to "do what you did before," and skip the chocolate. Heck, even I decided that doing that was a bridge too far... 

Next was Jewish Honey Cookies. This was a recent addition - as in, I only started adding these to the Cookie List a few years ago. They were an unexpected hit. 

But there are caveats. Apparently, the recipe should not be doubled...It's a dairy free recipe, and uses oil. I doubled it one year and the cookies sucked. Don't ask. I don't know. I figured it was easy enough to do them one batch at a time, since one batch makes about 36 cookies. 

(We make A LOT of cookies.) And -- I discovered that putting two pans at a time in my oven caused some issues. It looks like my oven may need a recalibration. 

To my eyes, the far left batch (I did 9 to a pan, because they do spread) is the darkest. That was at the full 12 minutes. The middle batch went in when the first pan was about 5 minutes in. And then the last pan was slightly too pale. 

This is one we'll do another batch of, so I have another shot at getting it right. 

The remaining cookies need chilling before baking, so we'll work on those in the coming days. As Hubby said, "It's only December 10." I have to have a large chunk of them done by the 3rd Wednesday, for a gathering, but I find that I can stand and bake, and manage to hobble my way from one end of the kitchen counter to the other, so it's not hurting me to do that. 

And he's a good baker - we work well together. 

Quick kitchen hack: Stick a chopstick in your sugar and flour canisters. Give them a stir before you use them. I rarely sift flour, but recently, I've been toying with stirring the flour a bit to sort of "fluff" it a bit. I've noticed that it not only makes the bread lighter, but it also helps the cookies rise a bit better. 

The chopstick also helps as a handy leveler - when you're dipping your dry measuring cup in there, you don't have to reach for a butter knife or spatula - you have your nifty chopstick which will help you without giving you another utensil to wash. 

The Ornaments...

The batch of ornaments this year was small. I hadn't realized that till I looked at the spreadsheet. Yes, I do have a spreadsheet - I need it to keep track of 18 years of ornaments per kid. 

And after the holidays, I'll have to order another 18 for the May Baby. 

The Joy and the Christmas Tree will go to Montana for the last of the Montana Kids... I think there's only a year or two left for one of them. 

The rest stay here in Illinois. 

Fun fact: I used to be able to pick these up at a local craft store. Gradually, they became harder and harder to find. One year, I ended up with these really crappy "ornament" looking things. No character at all. I had to really fiddle with them to give them some personality. 

But then I was lucky enough to find a website where they had the actual ornaments I was used to seeing. Some, of course, were no longer available (like a lot of the Santas, surprisingly). But I made do with what I could find, and each kid gets their own theme. 

It used to be more random when I had better access to the wider variety. 

Nice thing is: the kids don't care. I see my siblings' kids putting theirs up and it's really heartwarming. Makes me feel like this little thing mattered. 

The Tree...

This year, we did what we usually do: Tree on Table. It's the only safe way to have a tree with two dogs who masquerade as bulls in a china shop! 

Way back, my husky Topaz would sleep under the tree, and she was so graceful (even though she was huge) that she could get under and out of it without disturbing anything. 

Quinn & Raisa? Nope. Just easier to put a small tree on the table. Sometimes we do my Grandma's ceramic tree (my mom made it for her years ago). Sometimes we do the 4-footer. 

This year, Hubby found a different tree topper, and so we're kind of really bright. We have both colored and white lights on it, and mostly the Hallmark Frosty Friends ornaments on it. I've been collecting those for years. Since they first came out, actually. 

As you can see, too, we have them surrounding the tree. We haven't quite chosen a nativity set yet. That's another foray into the basement. 

I also got some Xmas cards out. Yeah, we send them. Shorter list, though. 

Random Picture...

My happy place. With my mixer. I have several happy places, to be honest: with a book, knitting, on my yoga mat, in my garden. But this time of year, I really do like to make time to spend in the kitchen. Whether it's baking or cooking, it's just a place where I can tune out the rest of the crap happening. 

I feel like I use an entirely different part of my brain in the kitchen. Even without a lot of sense of taste & smell, I can still cook. 

Recently, however, my good old Kitchen Aid has been making some oddball noises. Don't die on me now! First Kid has my avocado-green smaller Kitchen Aid from the 70s. That's when they were all metal. 

Now, they're not. We've already done "open heart surgery" on it once. I'm not sure what more we can do if it decides to crap out. Other than buy a new machine, which I don't know that I want to do. And if we do, it's likely to be another Kitchen Aid, because we have accessories for this one, like the grinder and pasta maker. 

But lately, nothing lasts like it used to, so I shouldn't be surprised. 

What's YOUR happy place? What does it feel like, sound like, look like? And if you've never thought about it, maybe it's time to do so!

A Small Miracle???

 No, not that I'm actually back here. Though, it's a thought. 

To say it's been a rough year would be an understatement. Actually, the last entry was just before my mom needed her hip replaced, and I'm now her medical person. So there were numerous medical appointments, the surgery itself, post-op care, etc. 

It's all fine, she's walking better than I am, and she's not in pain. 

I've had my second PRP shot in my left hip. That picture right there is the plasma they spun down from my blood. All that goes into the joint where the injury is, and it acts like your body's own "cortisone." It takes a while; I had 3 or 4 INSTANCES only after the first shot, where I was pain free, and they didn't last. But the effects are cumulative, and I have great hopes. They were very happy with the amount of plasma I was able to produce. 

I've noticed muscle atrophy in that leg and I'm a bit confused, but working on rehabbing it. The JOINT doesn't hurt, but I have some pretty interesting and intense muscle cramps. I'm using a cane, which my doctor and his nurses suggest that I decorate for the holidays. Little do they know that I'd actually do that... 

And, in one of the most bittersweet moments of this year, my nephew announced that his wife is pregnant. My sister won't be here to see that grandbaby. 

Let's start there...

The Knitting...

I have put aside the Long Sands Tee, not because of baby knitting (well, sort of) but because of the project below...a HUGE book editing gig. 

But once I heard the news, I was back in "start" mode. I had started, a few years back, a baby afghan for them, thinking I'd get a jump on things. It was going to be a feather-and-fan (also known as Old Shale) in the colors of their wedding afghan. I remember I set it aside because I managed to screw up the pattern, and one of my fans was off. And there was no news on the baby front, so I thought I'd eventually figure it out. 

In the meantime, JoAnn Fabrics had a sale on their Bernat Baby Softee, and I picked up 4 bundles: 2 each of aquamarine and "little mouse" (a sweet tan/taupe). I had no plans, but I figured the colors went well together and who knows - someone will turn up pregnant sooner or later. 

So as you know, my habit is: baby sweater, afghan, hat and maybe booties. This little one is going to be born in May - no need for sweaters. So we have to think differently. Still doing a sweater but had to look at my original "standard" - which doesn't go beyond a size 6 months. While that may work out mathematically, I've made the 6-month size for EVERY baby, and it fit them at birth. We grow 'em big here...

And... I decided to do a version of the Encore 8-hour afghan that I've done before. I'll tell you my theory on that in a second. I had enough Baby Softee to do the afghan. But not enough to do the rest. 

No more of that color combo at JoAnn (of course)... And I really wanted to do "simple" instead of what I had initially chosen for them. 

So I hoped on to Jimmy Bean's Wool. What with my own hip issues and a schedule that has gone from "nuts" to "impossible," I wasn't going to be making the 4-hour trip to my LYS anytime soon. 

I wanted something coordinated. What I found was a freakin' miracle to which I can only attribute the powers of the Knitting fairies or my sister, whatever plane she's on. The colors match. Two different yarns entirely: one set of Cascade 200, a superwash wool, and the Bernat Baby Softee, an acrylic. And they MATCH. Of course there's the sheen on the acrylic, but holy moley... the bottom knitting is the Baby Softee. The top two balls are half of what I bought for the sweater, the Cascade 220. 

I am so gobsmacked and jazzed! I was prepared to be ok with something "close enough." Well, near-perfect is certainly "close enough." 

So the sweater? (Insert drumroll here) I've decided to try for a Baby Surprise Jacket. I figure a 12-month BSJ can have rolled sleeves if by chance the baby is smaller, but if at 6 months, the peanut is more like a 9-10 month old, it'll still fit. And garter stitch is remarkably stretchy. I can do the turquoise/aquamarine for the body, and add random stripes of the cafe latte. And then reverse that for the hat. Yippee!!

Ok, now my screed on simple knitting. The pattern I'm using is off the Bernat site, and it's actually for a gradient, where you'd have a pale color, with two darker colors, and switch the darker colors half-way through. So, let's think green & cream. The green would be perhaps a grass green and then an emerald color. You'd hold the emerald + cream together for the first half of the afghan and then switch to the grass green + cream for the last half. I've done that in an Encore pattern with a different pattern: 2 of the darker colors first, then dark + light in the middle, and then 2 of the light at the end. It's gorgeous. 

But since I only had 2 colors, this is going to be very tweedy and I already love how the colors are patterning themselves. 

And let's face it. For me, at least, if I screw up a lace pattern, or have one more stitch or whatever in a complex pattern, I can fake it. It's a "design element." Here, with just garter border and stockinette body? There's no where to hide. Your skills, such as they are, shine (or not) in plain knitting. 

Besides which, this particular afghan is draping like a dream and the texture of the yarn is bouncy and yummy. And, thank you, grandma - my tension looks really good so far. It's a 20-row bottom, and then 12 knit at each side. Alternate knit and purl through the body for stockinette and you're good to go. Then 19 rows of garter at the top, and a bind-off for row 20. Easy as pie. 

If I had more colors, I certainly would've used them. I should work on some sort of scrappy baby blanket, but this is going to be good. For what it's worth, they're not revealing the gender, even to themselves. They want to go "old school." Which is fine - this colorway will work for whatever they have. 

I also have my "travel sock" which I'm piddling with. Honestly, since this hip injury, my hand-made socks are easier to get on than the store-bought ones...so I should get skippy and just finish a pair! 

One stitch at a time...

The Baking...

The last time I saw my sister alive was on Christmas Eve. Needless to say, this year is going to be hard. Well, let's just put it out there. SUCK is kind of the order of the day. 

There was a small family melt-down over the timing of Christmas Eve, which I will for now ignore (it'll go in my novel). 

I digress. 

My sister's favorite part of the dinner was the cookies. All baked by hubby and me. Her favorites were M & M cookies - take your basic chocolate chip recipe and instead of chips, put in Xmas-colored M & Ms. We made big ones, soft and chewy. We'd set aside a dozen for her and she'd take them home, hoarding them. One a month. 

To be honest, so far, they're not on my list. I'm not sure I can make them. My list is actually short-ish, all things considered. 

We did, however, do potica. And the dough was not happy. It was pretty stinky, as a matter of fact. It would roll...and then Slowly. Go. Back. Hubby had to fight it every step of the way. They weren't pretty. I was ready to chuck the whole thing and start over, but he persevered. 

They baked up pretty. The taste and texture were there. They got rave reviews. And they never knew how close they came to getting binned! So we're stocked for Christmas, though we may do another single batch for Easter. We make 1 batch of dough (unless we get crazy and do a double -- which results in anywhere from 6 - 10 loaves and is a marathon weekend of baking). And we make 1.5 batches of filling. My family has come to like just a tad more filling - actually about 1.25 batches, but I don't want to "math" that much. 

Hubby has a fix for that extra filling. His granny's Never Fail Pie Crust, and a mini cupcake tin. Voila, my mother's new favorite cookie and lots LESS fiddly than Pecan Tassies (or nut cups, as my granny used to call them). 

So the list is, so far, brown sugar cookies (rolled with our Ukranian cookie press rolling pin); lemon cherry cookies; coconut macaroons; chocolate shortbread; poppy seed cake; almond crescents; chocolate chip bars; lemon bars; pineapple crescents; snow-on-the-mountain and filled cookies. Oh, and Jewish Honey Cookies just because everyone loves them. 

I'm not sure if anything else will make it to the list. Probably not. We're giving a lot of it away, aside from the platter we do for the family dinner. It's a labor of love, but there's someone missing. My brother's favorite is the pineapple crescents - he gets his own bag too. 

So anyway, that's the plan.

The Project...

I've snagged a great editing gig. I've done 6 books already, and I'm on #7, for a publisher that I've worked for before. I'm the "last set of eyes" on the books before they go to press. A great gig, the books are all pretty good, and the only problem is -- with my hip. Because I can sit a long time editing 8 or 10 chapters. Then I figure I need to stand up. 

Oy, the creaking! So I've settled in to doing 2 chapters, then I get up and walk around, get some tea, take a trip to the bathroom, pet a dog. Anything to keep me moving. 

And I'm still able to make my deadlines. The books are all coming out in 2023, so I'm looking forward to seeing them in print. 

I've started thinking about a book I'd like to write or at least be the lead author on. Maybe that'll happen soon. Stay tuned!

The Bat...

I work for a church. The church buildig itself is old, from around 1910-ish. And occasionally, we have visitors. Of the animal kind. During Covid, when we were in lockdown and not permitted to have services, we battled the spiders, who promptly saw this as an opportunity to reclaim the entire building. 

Then, we had a cat in the basement - which I actually was hoping we'd be able to lure into the office to keep the mice at bay (a different building). That didn't happen. 

We've had a bird fly into the church while we had the doors open. We've had bats - mainly dead already.

And then there was last week. A parishioner comes up and says, "There's a bat in the sacristy and if So-and-So sees it, they're going to freak out because they don't like bats."

I go take a look. It looks dead. There are cobwebs around it. It's about 12 feet up. 

I call Animal Control. In our county, bats are supposed to be removed and tested for rabies because it's a problem. I think, "No worries, we'll get the little critter out of there and it'll be fine."

Well. Animal Control isn't allowed to get up on ladders. Dude says to me, "I can do this because on this one step, I can reach it, but next time, the bat should be within reach." Seriously, in my head, I'm thinking, "Ok. I'll leave a note for the bats..." And then... It's alive. I hear peep-peep-peep...and he's got it in some salad tongs, wings flapping, a very peeved bat. 

He can't let him go; it's his duty to take it in and send it to Bat Heaven. I'm gutted. And now we have to figure out how he got in (the bat...). 

I'm still a little concerned about the "bats have to be within reach" thing though - who tells the bats??

Random Picture...

It's Advent. This was from last year; this year, I'm not sure I'm going to set up our Advent Wreath - which is what this is. Two years ago, our vicar had a "make your own wreath" project for us, and this is what I came up with. 

In spite of the fact that I knit, I'm not entirely a craftsy person. I thought this looked pretty good; I didn't want real candles, so these are the battery-operated ones, and the ribbons and gold balls just look nice. 

We are going to have a tree of some sort on the dining room table. Tomorrow, I start the annual Ornament Extravaganza, and I know I'll have to order 18 ornaments for the gestating Peanut, but that's going to happen later. 

And in the meantime, knitting continues, and I bake. 

Nowhere Man

I hereby apologize to the Beatles for stealing their song title, especially since I'm about to rant on Agent Orange. Mango Mussolini, the pRresident*, Don the Con... Or, Nowhere Man. 

I mean seriously. This buffoon will put his name on anything. And I've got a pile of dog crap he can have. I wonder if I'd get into trouble mailing it to him? High grade, Siberian Husky stuff, which might make him all warm and fuzzy about his handler, Putin. 

Rebranding the 4th of July is beyond incredibly stupid. And you know what? He's going to get away with it because he's still a Useful Idiot in the grand scheme of Mitch McConnell, who seems to be single-handedly wrecking our democratic republic. Way to go, Mitch - everyone's gotta have a goal. 

Tanks sit outside Washington DC's downtown area. Luckily, they're not going to rumble down the streets - seeing as they'd tear the asphalt to ribbons. Grandstands are being built. Somehow, there's gonna be the BabyTrump balloon. Wonder how that got there???

And tickets are being offered - for a donation. Which will go into the grifter's pocket or that of his mendicant kids. 

And... WE get to pay for this. Yeppers - right out of our tax money. Never have I wanted more to have a say in where those tax dollars go. And nobody is listening to the screams. 

This isn't America. Or as my friend Alice (a very mild-mannered woman, to be sure) said, "What a dumb-f*&%." She doesn't use that language frequently. When she does, smart people hide under the furniture. 

I'm resigned to no impeachment, though God alone knows that if a Democrat did one iota of the crap that's been perpetrated upon this country and its citizens? Oy, the streets of Washington would be aflame with documents and that person would be escorted out in shackles. 

I know all I have is the ability to rant. So I will move on to other topics, since outrage is wearying and in this case, fruitless. 

The Knitting...

Well, the secret project is coming along, though when the heat hit the 90s, I set it aside to work on socks. Much easier to deal with in the summer! 

This is, however, a sneak peek at the second half of the project. I'm liking how this is working out and honestly?

If I could muster the energy to do a sweater, I'd use this kind of "fade" technique. 

There are a couple of techniques I'd like to start learning; one of the biggies is cables. And for that, I need to learn to read charts. Charts terrify me. I don't know why. But they do. 

I'd rather just watch someone, but I know that for my own skill-building, that's not practical. A knitter needs to know this stuff. 

I also need to work on lace knitting and learn how to read an Orenburg lace chart. Those things are wild. 

But anyway, socks. I'm puttering along on The Green Travel Sock, and am about half-way down the foot. So after that, just cut the other one, stringing a lifeline first, and then re-knit the foot + toe. 


And there's this little beauty -- my Shortie Socks. I will confess that they feel a tad-bit tight. I'm using Size 1 needles. This is my regular Opal yarn, which is my go-to workhorse yarn. The color is called "Model" - can't quite figure out why, but it doesn't matter. It's a very whimsical colorway, and I think if I'd done full-sized socks, they'd have been very striking. 

However - I wanted "instant socks" and this is as close to that as I'll get, if I'm knitting them myself. 

This is "my" pattern - in that it's out of my head. Let's face it: sock architecture is what it is. Heels and toes change, but every sock has the following:

• Cuff
• Leg
• Heel
• Foot 
• Toe

Just a matter of which ones you want to do, and how you do them. Do you want a deep cuff? I like mine rolled at the top. Do you want a long leg or short? Short this time! Do you want a Fleegle heel, Strong heel, afterthought, Sweet Tomato, Fish Lips Kiss, flap and gusset? And I'm probably missing a few styles. This is my go-to, "Doris" heel, for the woman who taught it to me. A nice heel with a bit of knit stitch on each side to aid in picking up stitches for the gusset. 

So my concession to the small needles (Size 1 is the smallest I've knitted with yet), I did my K2tog in "tbl" (through back loop) and it made this little "swoosh" of yarn along the side. It works for me. 


When these are done, I'll write up exactly what I did. I do take notes.

I like this close-up because it shows the detail on the yarn's colorway. It's very cute; and it goes with just about everything I own. 

That's what I like about Opal - there's a colorway that appeals to almost everyone. Their themes are usually adorable, and the yarn wears like iron. 

I'll confess that it's a bit scratchy to knit with. Nowhere NEAR as bad as Zauberball (I can't see how people can knit socks with that); and once you wash it and wear it a few times, it softens up nicely. 

I'm trying valiantly to knit from stash. So of course, my friend (the said Doris of the "Doris Heel") gives me a very belated Christmas present: a $50 gift certificate to my favorite LYS. Oy. Gonna save that for something special. 

The Garden...

Well, we've had some wonky weather (what else is new?) and there's more coming this week. Which is nice, because it ought to keep the locals from going nuts with fireworks. That being said, we shall see how it all shakes out. 

The milkweed is still doing well; we've noticed Monarchs flittering around, and from what I'm told, that means they're scoping it out. I'm hoping for Monarchs and Swallowtails on the parsley and dill. 

My veggies are almost done; those that are "summer veggies" that is. The Romaine is about finished. I need to re-plant the radishes and try again. The leeks are coming along, as are the carrots. 

I'm disappointed in the Borage and the Butterfly Weed that I planted from seed. My friend took the rest of my Borage and it's going nuts in her yard. Mine? Pfffffffffth. 

Here's a little video of the storm from Sunday. This was Storm #1. After that, we had Storm #2, which came out of nowhere. What's scary is that when this happened, the temps dropped about 25 degrees. That's "tornado" kind of stuff. 

So far, there have been a few warnings, but nothing really serious. We still have July and August to go, though. 

We had lots of tree damage from this little performance. But luckily, the half-dead tree in our neighbor's yard stood firm. Luckily because if it lands anywhere, it'll be in my kitchen. 

My Hair...

Yeah. My hair. So I'm getting it cut by a new stylist on Friday. (gulp!) I have a 15-minute consultation with her before she even gets me in a shampoo chair. 

For posterity, I took a number of shots as it is right now, because on Monday, it was behaving. Today it is not. 

I've got pics of what I want, I think. I mean I think it's what I want. I do have pics... I'm strongly considering cutting it short again. I know this is "short" to a lot of people, but I'm talking a cross between a pixie and a bob - a little lift and length on top, and considerably shorter at the back. 

My summer includes volunteering to clean up at the Old Joliet Prison and biking. Neither of those is conducive with longer hair - longer for me, I mean. 

And because of the heart meds I take, it's a little thinner than I'd like. I think the length isn't helping there either. 

I'll keep you posted. If you're wondering about the blue background, that's the wall in my yoga studio. 

Random Picture...

Where there's life, there's hope... Last year, this was my shot of a Monarch on my Purple Coneflower. I'm hoping for a lot more of these guys. 

As I look at my garden, I'm a bit dismayed at the amount of weeding I have to do, when the weather calms down; but ultimately, I'm proud of the "native" aspect of it. I've got mostly native plants in there, and everything will come back on its own. It's almost maintenance free. 

Now I just need to see butterflies and bees in regular appearance. That will make it just want I want. 

I'm Tired...

...because it seems like all I've been doing is fighting an uphill battle...even on social media, where I try to be nice to everyone. 

And I feel like I'm a bit "on my own." I've been standing up for myself for a long time, and maybe it's created the notion that I don't "need" anyone. But I do. We all do. 

Someone on social media accused me of "hubris." Hubris, in case you don't know, is defined as "excessive pride or self-confidence." And I find that accusation almost laughable. 

If I could laugh. 

And it's a person who really only tangentially intersects with my posts. Who then proceeded to tell me that my posts were "inane" and "stupid" and a few other things... 

Am I proud of what I've done in life? Yep. I have 2 fantastic kids. I have an education that I worked hard to get - as an adult student, with nobody paying my way, and while working full-time. I have skills and abilities that have taken time to develop. Time and persistence. And hard work. 

That's hubris? Nope. That's celebrating what you've done with your life. That's being a human being. That's nothing to sneeze at. That's what I was being made fun of for, by someone who thought it was "cool" to do that. The person felt like a success because of this exchange.

And it hurts my feelings. And it hurts that nobody else stepped in. 

I'll get over it. I actually blocked the person. The energy I'm expending on this is ridiculous. But still. Words matter. And they're sharper than knives, sometimes. 

The Blue Bowl...

So once upon a time, a long long time ago, I got a gift. It was a blue glass bowl. Circa late 1970s or so. 

For a while, my mother took custody of it. She had the "perfect" place for it and for years - no, decades - it belonged in my mother's house. 

Till my mother got a bug in her rear end that she needed to "massively" de-clutter. She doesn't have clutter. Really. Seriously. 

So she says she's returning "my" blue bowl. Maybe I can give it to the church for our twice-annual Rummage Sale. 

I stuck it on the kitchen table and said, "Self, take this to church sometime soon." And then I came home one day, to this... 

Hubby has adopted The Blue Bowl. It is now his. His staging place. His "spot" for whatever he needs to place in a certain location so that he remembers where it is. 

It's an ugly blue bowl. And apparently, it's ours. Again. 

The Knitting...

As I geared up with the sock knitting, happy to be back at it again, I got a phone call. 

Yep. Another baby on the way, and this time, it's family. Soooooooo - I was all jazzed because I actually have a whole outfit's worth of a beautiful apple green which will be great, because they're not revealing the gender. 

There are so few surprises these days... I think that's cool. Mom (great-grandma) doesn't think so. I have no idea why she's this way - but she'll get over it. 

Then it hit me... It's FAMILY. Family gets an afghan, as a tribute to MY maternal grandma, who did it for all of us for our weddings and our babies. I heaved a sigh and headed off to Betsy's in Lockport. It's a yarn and tea shop, and I'd provide you with a link, except there isn't one. 


It's a decent-enough shop with a fair bit of yarn, though not my favorite place. I just didn't have time to drive 50 miles to where I prefer to go. 

My brain was spinning. I was ripping my house apart for the "8 Hour Afghan" booklet, which I never did find. See - the shower's in MAY even though the baby's coming in JULY (long, LONG story, not worth repeating). So an 8-hour afghan (which in MY knitting timezone is about 2 - 3 weeks) it was going to be. 

I actually made the couple an adult version of the 8-hour baby afghan for their wedding, in a nice basketweave pattern. 

Now... the color... I looked for a nice complement to the apple green and I couldn't find one. Nope. Nada. Nothing. Lime green. Electric green. Dark green. "Baby" green. Blue-green. Emerald green. Dusty green. Nothing was hitting me, and the few things that DID hit me? Then there wasn't enough for what I needed. 

The pattern is extremely simple, and that's a challenge. Your tension has to be spot-on with this much "plain" knitting. This is knit with doubled yarn, so it does go fast-ish. It's 10 rows of straight knit and then you have a stockinette center, with 7 stitches of knitting per row up each side. Knit for about 30" and then do 10 rows of the top border and you're all done. 

As you can see, I ended up with a nice sage-like green, heathered. And I added a cream heather, almost "oatmeal" in appearance. This seems to knit up nicely, and the way the colors lay out is kind of interesting. The yarn is Encore Worsted, and it's 75% acrylic, 25% wool. Washable. Barf-proof. Sturdy. 

Size 10 circular needles. And I'm zipping along, knitting as much as I can each day. This past weekend, it was "knit-a-palooza" on Saturday afternoon and Sunday evening. And tonight, my one night I don't teach, I should be knitting, but I'm visiting with y'all. I did do a few rows before I started. 

Knitting is calming, of course. Which, heaven knows, I need -- a lot of, lately. I figure that if I can get this done by the weekend (which is looking possible, since I'm already past 15" on this and I've started the second set of yarn balls (4 balls total, knitting with 2 at a time), I can start the sweater next, and take about a month there. 

As usual, no fringe, no fussy stuff. It's really nice to do a few rows before bedtime, with the TV off and the computer shut down for the night. 

The hat and booties will take about 3 weeks total. 

What do you think? I don't know what buttons I'll be using for the sweater -- maybe bright yellow? Definitely a washable button, of course, so I'll also look at the wood-like ones, too. We'll see what's in the button-bag. 

Random Picture... 

This is our Yogi-baby! One of our teachers is leaving - she's the one I knitted that wild zebra-print ensemble for... He was 11 weeks early, and look at him now! 

She held her last studio class this past weekend, and he was our "special guest" afterwards. 

He couldn't decide whether crawling was a good idea or not. But he's a good roller. Funny enough, he's a chunky little stinker. And I found that my reflexes for "glasses-grabbing" babies? Well, they're still there. 

No, I don't have baby fever. But if I did? This little guy sure helped!