Picking Up... Stitches & Pieces

On Monday, it'll be a month since my sister's passing. I must've gotten over 50 cards, and I truly feel the care and thoughts of everyone. 

I can't tell you how many times in the past few weeks I've picked up the phone to call or text her. I saw a mug with a nursing theme, and thought, "Oh, Betty's Christmas gift!" Well, no. 

I feel like I'm not 'grieving' enough. I have no idea how to grieve; logically, I know there's no "right" or "wrong" way to do it. I just feel inadequate.

Some days I can go a while without ruminating about everything. I can't help but think that, when I saw her in September, and we went antiquing, while my hip was giving me fits, I noticed that she was hacking and her breathing was a little rough. She passed it off by saying, "I'm trying to stop smoking." I thought that made sense because other people I knew who'd tried or succeeded in quitting told me that the first few weeks, it feels like "you're hacking up a lung."

If only I'd pressed a bit. I did tell her that I was proud of her quitting. To me, though, that's small consolation, because I believe in my heart that she had the cancer then. And she did tell me about the "bug bite" that wouldn't go away (which turned out to be one of the tumors). She was always afraid to worry me; she was concerned that my heart would act up, but honestly, I'm not a shrinking violet and my heart is as strong as that of a mule. She could also be prickly about her own health issues. 

Hindsight is indeed 20/20.

All of the rose petals are dried. In the next few weeks, we'll send them off. And my nephews are reviewing the scholarship documents this weekend, which is exciting. It's coming together. 

But I still wish she was here. 

I think this weekend, I'll be taking the cards off the table and packing them away. They'll go in my drawer where I can pull them out when I need them. 

The Knitting...

I finished the second sock, and frogged the first one. It was weird clipping that toe and ripping yarn. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, and I finished the heel flap last night. 

Turning the heel is still magic, thanks... and I am now working on the gusset. In order to start the gusset, you have to pick up the stitches along each side of the flap. I have kind of a unique way to do it. 

When I first learned, Sonda told me, "You can use a crochet hook, but you won't need to." Well, I need to. I always have, since she showed me. It's just that now, my crochet hook is smaller. 

Normally, you'd use your needle to pull through each stitch, and you'd do about 16 or so stitches on the heel flap. I do a 3" heel flap, just because I like it. And so I'll also often pick up 20 or more stitches, regardless. 

Sonda told me that, too. "There are no knitting police, and if you think it's a little "holey" then pick up a few more stitches!" Also, I pick up two extra when I get to the instep, so that there's no hole in that area. 

With a crochet hook, since I'm "bi-craftual," I'm pretty comfortable picking up those stitches and putting them on the needle. Of course, sometimes they're twisted, but that takes about two seconds to switch while you're knitting it up. So this also means that my gussets are kind of long, but that also works in my favor because I have a high arch. The longer gusset seems to fit my foot better. It can get a little odd looking, like a foreshortened foot, but honestly, nobody but me sees the foot anyhow. 

So who cares? Sonda was actually pretty fascinated at how quickly I could pick up using the hook. It just made sense to me. The other way, with the needle, was a little harder for me and I kept either dropping the stitches or splitting the yarn. 

I will admit it's a little cumbersome on the 4th needle (the SSK side), because you have to pick up the stitches along the heel flap before you get to the stitches left from the heel turn. 

I'm zipping around this part of the sock and it should go quickly. 

I have to figure out a project for an airplane... In June, it looks like I'm going to Baltimore for a conference. Of course, I'll have to check the TSA regulations, and I'm assuming that I'll be able to go -- Lord knows what with Covid and the newest variant. 

The airline folks get twitchy with socks using double-pointed needles, in spite of what I've read in the Yarn Harlot's blog...and I don't want to take a shawl because that can be too bulky. I usually try to take something that can be done on circular needles, because so far, they've allowed those. I have a bias scarf that I could probably take; it's been my "forever" travel knitting project just because it's mindless. It's from Churchmouse, and called "Before and After" because it looks like heck till you block it! It's lace-weight on a size 7 circular needle and there's beading on either end. It's quite long, and mine is done in a "peacock" colorway for the first one, and a yellow-green (which is odd, but it does go nicely with the peacock) for the second one. I haven't quite finished the first one, but I hope to be done with that one by the time I get on a plane. 

If you think about it, it's the perfect project to wear when you're on a plane, or in a conference room where you never know what the AC is going to be like...

I've been considering what to do for the next thing after these socks. I have several WIPs to finish, as well as...more socks. Several singletons still need mates done. 

I'm leaning toward finishing "Copland" from Expression Fiber Arts, or finishing my February Lady Sweater, which is top-down in a luxurious silk/alpaca blend. I also have the most adorable pewter buttons for that. 

I wore my sawtooth shawl to church the other day. It's an asymmetrical one, and Hubby had to help me style it. Asymmetrical shawls are fun to knit, but a pain to wear. I don't have a lot of panache and so I don't "randomly toss it over the shoulder." I want the thing to stay in place. 

We decided to drape it like a cowl, and stick a shawl pin on the right side, catching both ends underneath. It worked. This is one of those Lion cakes and I didn't want another 6-foot garter stitch scarf. I don't even remember this pattern. The yarn, acrylic, is actually surprisingly warm. I believe the pattern was in a website that had patterns suggested for these cakes. 

I bought "The Complete Surprise" book by Cully Swansen. It's a compilation of the variations of Elizabeth Zimmerman's Surprise Jacket. I could maybe also take a "Baby Surprise" along on the plane...it's a masterful piece where you just knit and make this "blob." Then you fold the blob and voila! A baby jacket! I can always use a baby jacket in stash. 

I think that's half the fun: figuring out what to do next. But I have to start wearing the things I'm knitting (aside from socks; I do wear the socks!). My jobs now are more casual, so I don't have to "get fancy." I have a couple shawls that are out of sock yarn, so they may go into my suitcase for the trip in June. 

The Olympics...

Doping. Seriously. Russia was banned from competing, so they "re-brand" and call themselves "Russian Olympic Committee" -- big deal... Banned = banned. Period. 

For the skaters to even be there is ridiculous. And for a 15-year-old to be abused by her coaches is just cruel. The doping by the Russians is legend. It's just that now they're getting caught. 

And let's talk about the skating. From the few routines I saw, it's all about the quad jumps. There's very little artistry anymore. It's just "skate to the next jump." Which is pretty boring, to me. I saw Nathan Chen's routine, and he was amazing. I don't mind that the guys are more "athletic" in that they're all doing quad jumps, but he still managed to bring artistry and a sense of joy to his skating. But it seemed like the only woman skater who enjoyed herself was the young woman from Japan. 

Speaking of young women, I believe there should be a minimum age of 18 to compete. Much like the gymnastics teams, when they say "women" and the kids -- actual kids -- are the ones competing? It's not only harmful to the kids physically, but also emotionally. Imagine a young woman being "washed up" once she starts developing, if she hasn't screwed up her system. Many of the young women don't even have periods because of the rigorous training. 

I was pleased this summer to see the gymnasts on the US team because they LOOKED like women. They had muscles. They weren't just barely teenagers. 

I hope the IOC grows a spine. But I'm not holding my breath. 

Random Picture...

I bought some blueberries the other day - they were ENORMOUS! And of course Quinn was there. Blueberries are her favorite. She doesn't care if they're fresh or frozen. She kind of likes the crunch of the frozen ones, if I'm honest. But she won't turn her nose up at a fresh berry. Or apple. Or orange. Or banana. She loves her fruit. 

Raisa likes to try to "kill" them, but I didn't feel like cleaning up that mess. So Quinn and I shared a few blueberries. 

It took me several tries to get the picture; she can be kind of a "snatcher," but she's working on her "easy" command. I didn't want to toss them, because they were fresh and quite juicy. 

I guess I was lucky to keep my fingers! 

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