Adjusting to the Silence...

So it's been a couple months. And I'm still waiting to be greeted when I walk in the door. I still listen for the turn, turn, turn on the dog bed and the PLOP as Quinn drops into her comfy spot. And I still reach for the stick blender and turn, wanting to see Raisa ready to sing. I look at the leashes every first and third Tuesdays, figuring it's time to suit up to go out to the university. 

People wonder when the grief goes away, and on our "loss of pet" group, the constant question is, "When will I feel normal?" The answer is: Never. You never really do get over the loss of a companion animal, whether you refer to it as your furry child, or your soul animal. They leave a void in your heart and a mark on your soul. 

Which is why it's so freaking abominable that Governor Noem (my hands want to type out MORON) in South Dakota is bragging about killing - executing - a puppy and a goat. The puppy (14 months old) "didn't hunt" and the goat "smelled." Well, doofus --- TRAIN the puppy, and bathe the goat. Executing them in a gravel pit doesn't make you "able to make the hard decisions." It makes you an utter psychopath. Who shouldn't be allowed near ANY living thing, much less allowed in politics. And don't come at anyone with that "farmers/ranchers" BS. Every farmer I know (and I'm living in the nation's Bread Basket) would've rehomed the dog and hosed down the goat. But guess what? GOATS SMELL. So do pigs and horses and sheep. And most ranchers who've been shredding her on social media said the same thing: if the dog doesn't hunt, you train it -- and for God's sake, it's a PUPPY. They can't even process. They have instincts, yes, but they need focus and training. And if the dog still has no instinct for hunting, you rehome it or it's a pet. 

My uncle, a dedicated hunter, had a Springer Spaniel, Rags. That dog was nuts. He hated gunfire, he hated wet. He was allergic to grass and weeds. He was as useless as a 2-legged milking stool as a hunting dog. But he could bark. He could play with the kids. He was essentially a pet. I have no idea of his bloodlines, but my uncle was persnickety about his dogs. He tossed his hands up in the air and said, "I guess I've gotta get another dog that'll hunt." He didn't take him out to the quarry and shoot him. He kept him his entire life (the dog's - my uncle is still around). 

As I sit here contemplating what my next adventure with animals will be, this woman who thinks she's going to be the VP for that orange excrescense at the top of the MAGA party, is being flayed, as she should be. Karma is a bugger, you miserable excuse for a human. 

The Knitting...

I got my replacement Baby Camel yarn (exchanged for the Eco Cashmere that was defective) from Purl Soho. It's lovely! And it perfectly matches my vintage camel coat. So I think I'm knitting cuffs for the coat. I've wanted to for a long time, and I couldn't find a good match. Well, this could've been made for the coat! I'll do a 2x2 rib, and they'll be lovely! The sleeves on the coat are just a tad too short, so the cuffs will be a welcome addition. 

I'm still knitting on the Eco Cashmere Simplicity Scarf, but I set it aside. I have news....

No. No grandbabies...

I have yarn. (yeah, I know, I have STASH). My friend D gave me TWO "medium" sized moving boxes and a 35-gallon tote full of yarn. She's doing her Swedish Death Cleaning, and has moved away from knitting (yes, I know - seems impossible), though she's still knitting socks. And she asked me to help her get rid of her stash. I can keep whatever I want, sell whatever I want, but just get rid of it. There are some partially completed projects, which I will likely frog. She doesn't have the patterns -- and half the balls don't have ball-bands. There are also needles and some books. 

Anyway, I'm going to keep a bunch of it. There's some beautiful CoBaSi which looks like it was headed for a fade shawl, and a lot of sock yarn. 

I'm also working on another pair of socks. She has Opal, and the Love Story colorway just makes me smile. So I've started on a plain pair. There's enough for several pairs of socks, and I can add the partial balls to my "franken-sock" stash. Or make a shawl. The All Used Up Shawl (and the cardigan) could be a great way to stash bust all my odds and ends. 

I still haven't fixed the dropped stitch on the baby blanket, but I'm going to get to it. I have time. I also need to whip out a little hat, so there's that to finish and then the fleece throw which is going to go with this gift. Or maybe I'm not doing the fleece throw - that's still up in the air. 

The one thing that's been occupying my time with the boxes of yarn from D is the untangling.

I'm one of those weird folks who really enjoys untangling yarn. Some of the balls are better than others, but this cotton blend needed to be untangled and washed then re-wound. It took me a while, and after I got it untangled, I tied it in a couple places and used some Eucalan to soak it. Hung it on the shower and let it dry for a few days. I just need to re-wind it at some point. I know what this is, but I can't recall the name - so I want to do another shawlette, because I think that's all I have enough yarn for. Maybe I'll use a bit of a larger needle and just stockinette stitch. 

The Injury...

OK, so. The hand isn't fixed yet. But I did end up going back to the doctor. And I got TWO steroid shots in the left hand. It was as amazing as it seems. Not. Though she is good - I was really numb and didn't feel a thing. At least till the numbing spray wore off. Then, it was as if my hand was on fire! It's eased up somewhat and I'm feeling the effects of the steroids. 

I also made an appointment with the surgeon who fixed it in the first place - thankfully, he hasn't retired! The doctor said that she thinks the tendon that was wedged into my wrist has "broken free of the capsule" and that the swelling may be permanent, which affects my range of motion. I can put more weight on it, so that's good...but again, the biggest reason I dislike steroid shots is that they allow me to do stupid stuff. I did buy some blocks that had shapes cut out so that I can use more of my palm. Because that left thumb is fused at a 2-degree angle (for function), I can't flatten the hand. And sometimes, I don't get quite the right placement on a block, but with these blocks I ordered, the weight is more in my palm, which is a bit safer for my thumb. The screw is exactly where it's always been, but I don't want to risk it. 

So I figured that I should see the surgeon and figure out what we can do. Or not do. But it's worth the visit. Hubby wants to ask about the "lifetime warranty" on the surgery! 

The Garden...

The potatoes are in. I'm getting some repellant for the tree-rats (squirrels)...the stinkers are digging up my potted plants. I tried cayenne and red pepper flakes. They just scurry over to the bird bath, drink up and do it again. 

I have celery rooting in a bowl - we'll see if that comes to anything. I have grown celery before, out of starts from the greenhouse, and it's amazing the flavor you get from home-grown celery!! 

I have a couple baskets of petunias out front, and they've survived at least one mild frost; they're magenta with lime green edges, so I can't wait to see what the hummingbirds think. I have lantana in 2 pots, cosmos + Dusty Miller in one pot and a big pot of dianthus. Waiting to see what else I can pick up; I need at least 2 more hanging pots - maybe 4. 

We're looking at a tiny veggie garden this year, as I may have mentioned. Romaine, a couple tomatoes, a pot or two of parsley (at least one for the butterflies!). Very simple. 

It was a busy morning today; out in the compost area twice already, and I made some ham and bean soup with our own herbs. My mom wanted some, so I made it; she and I are the only ones who'd eat it, so I got half and she got half. Good deal all the way around. 

The Reading...

Aside from a current addiction to Lord Peter Wimsey, I've started "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van Der Kolk, MD. 

It's pretty deep. Very technical but also readable. I've heard from folks that it's a book you can't really plow through, and I can see that. It takes me a couple chapters, maybe, and then I have to put it aside. 

I'm also still working through 1Q84, about 50% through that one. It's fascinating and reads smoothly, even with the time jumps. 

When I need to rest my hand, I turn to my books. 

A Bittersweet Birthday...

So we recently celebrated my newest grand-niece's birthday. She's one. And it's bittersweet. She's the granddaughter of my late sister. One of the relatives hugged me and said, "It's so nice that you're the fill-in." I know they meant well, but boy, that cut. I don't WANT to be the fill-in. I want my sister here. And she's not. And there's still a huge hole in my heart. 

The little one is in the "daddy's girl" phase and it was so funny to see all of us turning ourselves inside-out to make her smile, only for her to rebuff all of us pretty consistently. 

Eventually, she'll come around. Babies do that. 

Unfortunately, I ate some things that didn't agree with me. Well, I take that back. The cheese sticks VERY much agreed with me....to the point that I should have just walked away. I adore a good fried mozzarella stick, and these were wonderful! Oh, I did have salad, so there's that! I think Hubby and I were definitely in a carb-coma in the evening. 

Miscellaneous...

Randomly...

1. I need to step up my fitness. My BF has offered to teach me to swim, and I may have to take her up on that. It's good for my hip and I should have learned a long time ago. 
2. I have to catch up with my remaining sibling; it's time for another adventure, and I don't want to let too much time pass. Life can get in the way for sure, but it's also what we prioritize. 
3. I really need to get into my home office and clear some crap out. Swedish Death Cleaning for me, too!
4. I've actually started Christmas shopping. It's better to get an idea of your list and chip at it all year long, I think. 
5. I've got to get out of the habit of going down the YouTube hole... I tend to do that when it's time to go to bed, and I need to cultivate a different habit. 

Random Picture...

The last of the lilacs of 2024. The bushes have been extremely prolific this year. This is the third cutting I've gotten and while they're a little beat up, it's still something I felt like I wanted to do. 

People have been walking past the yard and stopping to smell them for the past several weeks. They're at the end of the sidewalk, so it's easy for people to enjoy them.  

We're actually debating taking them out, because honestly they're planted too close to the sidewalk. They seemed fine when we put them in, but now they've gotten a bit loose. Hubby trims them so that they're never much taller than 7 feet, but one of the bushes has a ton of suckers, and the other seems to have sprouted a bit taller than its mate. I'd swear they're two different varieties, because the one on the right always blooms a few days before the other one. 

I got a hit of the smell, thankfully -- but the ability to smell is now gone again. But it was worth it.